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"safe" sex

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by punkrocker99, Sep 15, 2009.

  1. punkrocker99

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    So I was just thinking today about how when I'm 16-20 if I find the right guy, and we fall in love, and It's been a few months to a year then we might get to the stage of sex. I'm a virgin right now, and plan to stay that way until i find someone I really love (Not a hookup kinda guy).

    So I was wondering if two guys have unprotected sex but they're both each other's firsts and neither of them does any type of drugs, then would it be safe? Because I have heard that sex with condoms is not as good at all... and I think I'd like to at least find out for myself if there's a pleasure difference (eventually). But I'm also freaked out buy stds like gonnerea and aids so I want to know if It'd be safe??? If we're both virgins (entirely) and drug-free.
     
  2. JT

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    Well, we're talking about a pretty serious commitment as far as potential age and time frame are concerned.

    I don't want to be the one to tell you or influence you down the road of unprotected sex. But if I were given those special circumstances of being each other's firsts, I would not wear a condom. There is a difference in sensation. But dealing with people that have been in other relationships or had hookups, I'd not risk it. The pleasure is not worth it.

    You also have to be cognizant that if you do decide to have unprotected sex with your significant other of however long, things do happen. I.E. Cheating. Not to say everyone cheats, but it happens. And not to say everyone who cheats, cheats w/o condoms. Or that everyone who cheats will get an STD. Just making you aware of possibilities.
     
  3. 71390S

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    Honestly, if you are both virgins and want to have not-safe sex, I would get tested first and have my partner get tested too. Just because it's better to be safe than sorry and worry.

    I have heard the complete opposite about sex and condoms, there are some that are "better" than others when it comes to texture and how it feels. My overall advice is to use condoms regardless :slight_smile: Also, whenever I am unsure of something I ask myself "If the absolute worst happens, would it be worth the risk?"
     
  4. Lexington

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    >>>Because I have heard that sex with condoms is not as good at all...

    Sex with condoms IS not as good at all...if you don't know what you're doing. And, sadly, many guys don't. But there's no reason you've got to be one of those guys. Putting the right amount of lubricant on the penis before putting the condom on will greatly enhance the sensation. It does take some practice to learn how much to put on and where. But you know what? You don't have to wait until you meet the guy until you find out. Go buy some condoms and lube, and start experimenting. You should figure it out pretty quickly. And hopefully, you'll get used to throwing one one that it'll be second nature by the time your first boyfriend comes around. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  5. Revan

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    I have barebacked and I will say it is wonderful, and while I haven't had anything yet...I have STOPPED because I don't want to risk it. (It was only with boyfriends, but still). I would suggest getting tested if you really want to be each others firsts, and more importantly, firsts barebacking, just in case. There is something you should know, that people can get HIV without having unsafe sex or drugs. They can be born with it, or something can happen that resulted in them winding up with the drug. (Like the report a time ago where a father infected his son by injecting him with HIV: http://news.aol.com/article/dad-injected-son-with-infected-blood/516493. So the most important thing is get tested.
     
  6. werekid

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    just get tested then when you get the results go for it
     
  7. Just Adam

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    would scare the hell out of me... the risk of hiv/aids is thrown so many times...

    im assuming we are talking that barebacking feels better for the top...but i heard barebacking isnt as pleasureable for the bottom...

    is the a pleasure gain in either for the bottom compared to the other?....

    and you really got to trust a partner to not use protection....
     
  8. Jim1454

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    Remember that you aren't just entrusting someone with your heart or your virginity, you're entrusting them with your life. That is a huge commitment.

    As Lex said, sex with condoms isn't worse than without if you know what you're doing. If you're the bottom, there really isn't a difference either way. Honest. If you're the top wearing the condom, it's just as pleasurable if you've put it on correctly. So practice.
     
  9. KaraBulut

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    Honestly, being old enough to remember pre-condom days, I'd say I prefer using condoms and I don't think there's that much of a difference. Except that you don't have to worry about getting a nasty urinary tract infection or other messy things that can happen.

    What most people don't do is put lube on the inside of their condom- it makes all the difference.

    Don't get into the thinking of "well, he's clean" or "just this one time" or "we didn't have any condoms with us and we couldn't wait". Go buy condoms (even if you don't think you need them). Use them. Don't negotiate with yourself or the other person... no glove, no love.
     
  10. punkrocker99

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    Okay I decided that I'll get us both tested if/when it happens. Do you know if u have to be 18 to buy condoms though? (in the U.S.) ??
     
  11. Lexington

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    Nope. If Rhode Island is like Colorado, condoms are available nearly everywhere - 7-11, the grocery store, Bed Bath & Beyond, every drug store. Pick out a standard brand - no need to get fancy with 'ribs' or anything to start out with. And get lube. Not hand lotion, not vaseline - lube. It should be right there with the condoms.

    Practice makes perfect. Get yourself some alone time - in your bedroom if it's secure, the bathroom if it isn't. Lay down a bathtowel, because lube can get a bit messy, and you don't want it on your bedsheets or chair. You might want a warm washcloth (for a quickie clean-up) and a plastic bag (for disposal) handy. Get yourself at least semihard. (You're 15 - you're probably semihard most of the time, anyway. :slight_smile: ) Unwrap the condom - don't use your nails or teeth, they open very easily with just a tear. Figure out which way the condom unrolls, but don't start just yet. Put some lube on your penis. (While you're practicing, you might want to err on the side of caution and use too little. Once you're doing it for reals, err the other way, and feel free to use too much.) You'll definitely want some along the lower "seam". Then put the lube down, wipe your hand off on the towel a bit, and roll the condom on, leaving the tip open at the top. Ordinarily, if you were then going to have sex with someone, you'd slather the condom with more lube. Since you're just gonna jerk off, you can skip this step. Then...do it. Jerk off. It'll feel a bit weird to start off with - that's OK, most new things do. You'll soon get the hang of it. When you hit orgasm, you'll notice you won't have to worry about getting semen on anything - an added bonus. :slight_smile: Enjoy the afterglow awhile, then encircle the condom at the base with one hand, and hold it by the tip with the other. Pull the condom off, keeping your encircled hand a bit tight - this will wipe much of the condom and semen away. (When doing this step during actual sex, you obviously will pull out of him and move a bit away from him when you do this.) Drop the condom in the plastic bag, wipe your penis down, and congratulate yourself on a lesson well-learned. And do it as much as you'd like. :slight_smile:

    And yeah, you might want to take that plastic bag straight out to the trash can. No need leaving it out for Mom to take care of. :wink:

    Lex
     
  12. KaraBulut

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    No. There's no age restriction, nor do we want any restrictions.

    They're available everywhere - next time you're in a gas station, convenience store, gay shop, etc look around and you'll see that they're for sale there. You can also buy them through online stores like condomania, condom country, etc. A lot of family planning centers like Planned Parenthood offer condoms for free although it's more reliable to buy your own.
     
  13. shimmersky

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    Just use a condom!!
    It's better that way.

    -Condoms make cleanup a lot easier.
    -STDs are not the only infections you can get from barebacking. Think about all of the bacteria that lives in a person's butt. If/when that gets up your urethra, it's very bad news.
    -Condoms are easy to put on and take off, and putting on a condom sexily is a good way to set the mood and build anticipation. He could even put the condom on you with his mouth.
    -There is absolutely no reason to take a risk like that. Sex is intimate no matter what. It doesn't magically get more intimate if you stop wearing a condom. It won't increase your pleasure; it will increase your worry. Just don't do it.
     
  14. hannahhrosee

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    if you are both clean just dont use a condom.
     
  15. punkrocker99

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    haha so descriptive lex!! lol

    this was all hypothetical so I don't have to think about it for a bit (till i come out) but I'll keep it mind for when the real deal happens. :slight_smile:
     
  16. shorty

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    Does putting lube on the inside of the condom make it tend to slip off?
     
  17. KaraBulut

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    No, it forms a suction effect that actually makes the condom stick on- especially with water-based lubes.
     
  18. Just Adam

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    i never knew about putting lube inside the condom :red: HAHAHA learn summat all the time lol.

    doesent overly effect me...but for the Op its great tipes for practice and thatsa good idea as you dont want to wait till the real thing to do that as you wil llook an idiot make a mistake and possibly ruin the mood...after all you dont want to rip the condom and then y ou just both sat there all horny and looking at each other like ffs :frowning2:
     
  19. mattypants

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    waht?! i didnt know that! i too thought it would have led to it slipping off... :rolleyes:
    yay for learnding! :slight_smile:
     
  20. Camman3

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    I would imagine it would just be safer to use a condom. I doubt that wearing a condom will reduce the "sensation" so drastically that you actually need to debate wearing it.

    Despite being clean of all or any STDs, there is still the possibility of infection. The faeces, though with a healthy diet will not usually leave behind too many "traces", must still be a considered factor when thinking about safe sex. Faeces are filled with toxins and other things your body didn't need in the first place... Risking getting that up a very sensitive area (well, let's face it, no one wants to lose *that thing*) isn't the greatest thought...

    Rather be safe.