So my boyfriend and I are in a monogamous relationship and are about to become sexually active(we have yet to have sex) we've both had sexual partners before myself having had sex with both men and women and him having had sex with men. We're both getting an HIV test before we start having sex so that we may experience unprotected sex safely. For the life of me I cannot seem to see any problems assuming we both get tested before hand, but I'm sure there are some things to consider anyone have any insight to considerations that need to be taken before we have unprotected sex?
Don't. It could ruin the relationship between you too. My friend went through the same thing. It could end bad or good, it depends. If your 100% that your relationship will be stronger, then have sex. Good luck, stay safe
All I can say is just be careful. My friend had unprotected sex with his boyfriend, now he has HIV. Why? Because his boyfriend cheated on him. You can never be truly sure how trustworthy your boyfriend will be. I'm sure he's a great guy, but like I said, you never know.
So, don't have sex or don't have unprotected sex? The don't have unprotected sex I can understand but the reasoning behind it is what I want to see. If your trying to say don't have sex period all i have to say to that is that it is just going to happen. We're adults in a committed relationship and sex is the next step. I want to have sex with my boyfriend he wants to have sex with me, whether or not we do it protected is the question.
Obviously this isn't an area I specialise in or anything, but to my knowledge, even if you've been tested and are clean (and haven't done anything risky in the window period that hasn't shown up on a test yet), having unprotected anal sex can fairly easily lead to some nasty infections from bacteria getting into the urethra.
Get tested for more than just hiv if possible. While HIV is fairly virulent, it is not the only danger. I personally think better safe than sorry.
^ what he said. As for Chad, no that's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying don't have unprotected sex.
I know there is this stigma about how useing protection is not as physically gratifing as unprotected sex, but you really have to decide if it is worth the risk.
get tested and after that its your call personally i would consider it only after a long commited relationshipa nd tested several times...as you can pick things up and it doesent have to be sex related....its all in the blood man.... but its allways better to play safe than sorry... pleasureable sex isnt decided of efelt by a condom its the love and intimacy of the act...making love isnt decided on whats on your cock but by the two envovled and how they feel about each other... having a condom wont make things less good and it will help protect both of you.
I personally would say, it's only worthy when like...you're married or "civil unioned" or w/e. Even though cheating could still happen, it generally isn't as common apparently among married gay couples. (Straight couples are a bit different from what I read, but yeah go us gays).
I suppose it's not really a question you should be asking us, but one you should be asking yourself. How much do you trust your partner, and how realistic is that trust (are you loveblind?). The realities of unprotected sex are pretty severe when it comes to one night stands, random hookups etc, but in monogamous relationships where both partners are tested (remember to get tested for more than HIV/AIDS, it isn't the only uncurable disease out there) the risks are pretty minimal (but never 0 I guess). The chances of infection as stated by Maddy aren't really prevelant and good hygiene can generally prevent them. I feel comfortable in saying if you trust your partner, then go for it. Just don't forget the whole 'monogamous' convention of the situation; even if your partner were to sleep with someone else in a safe manner, they still jjust doubled the risk of infection.
I think you need to just answer one question: WHY do you want to do it without condoms? If you answer that, and you think the answer is worth risking (possible) bad bacterial infections and HIV/AIDS if your partner's not faithful at all times. If your answer convinces you that you do not want to use condoms, then just be alert for signs that your partner could be cheating, and make sure that you guys are always very hygienic about sex. Otherwise, really, it should be fine. It's just a question of "why am I having unprotected sex" and with a convincing answer, you just need to be cautious . All there is left, either way, is to enjoy it.
The whole idea of unprotected sex is this romanticized thing that "If you REALLY love me, then you'll go unprotected with me." And it's a complete load of crap. Likewise, with good quality condoms, the sensation difference is minuscule to nonexistent. Like Revan46, I know at least two people who became HIV+ at 22 and 20 after having unprotected sex with their "monogamous" boyfriends. In those two cases, the partners each got tested and were negative, and one partner cheated. In one case, the partner who cheated did not even know he was positive until his partner got tested, came back positive, and had been faithful. People have this idea that it "won't happen to me", or that it isn't a big deal because "you just take a pill." Ask anyone who is actually HIV+ and they will tell you that isn't the case at all. Ask anyone who is HIV+ and symptomatic if they would have done things differently, and they will all tell you in no uncertain terms that they would. It's easy to come up with a bunch of BS reasons to be risky. And it's also very easy to let emotions come over you and convince you that your boyfriend will love you forever and is such a wonderful guy that he'd never in a million years cheat on you. And there are tens of thousands of people who believed that and are now HIV+, with a lifetime of health issues, expensive treatments, the stigma and labeling that comes with being HIV+ and all the other baggage. I don't see why anyone with a brain would risk it.
I don't want to have unprotected sex indefinitely. I want to experience it though now while I am in a safe monogamous relationship with someone who I trust and also happens to have to date STD testing done. Just knowing for a fact that unless he cheated in the last few hours or so he's "Bug Free". I have had many partners of both sexes and I'm always safe, I just want to experience it a few times over a short period of time not wearing a condom. Is this something I plan to do for the remainder of our relationship? No. But under the right conditions and in the right environment I think it is something that can be done. EDIT: At the same time I am not steadfast in my resolve, my opinion is still being formed, I want to make the right decision but I also want to try something new(Assuming I can safely).
Well... at the end of the day it appears reason has over come emotion. We've decided it's better to put off the unprotected sex until our relationship has evolved and matured more. Thanks for the info and not just telling us something stupid and naive such as "Do what makes you happy" and etc..
This is one of the biggest misconceptions about testing. Unless you get one of the newer and very expensive tests such as the PCR, the HIV test is reliable only for exposure that happened 3 to 6 months ago. The reason is that the common tests are looking for *antibodies* to HIV, not the virus itself. I just attended a briefing given by one of the HIV testing and treatment centers in Sacramento, and they reiterated the idea that the tests commonly given are an accurate look at what one's HIV status was up to six months ago. The newest antibody tests he said are about 50-60% accurate at 1 month after exposure, reaching about 95% accurate at 3 months, and 99% at 6 months So when you are having unsafe sex with someone who was tested last week, unless that person has not had any exposures in the past 6 months, there is still risk -- and the really dangerous part is, the virus replicates most rapidly, and the viral load is highest, and infection risk the greatest, right after the person is infected, and before test results will show they are positive. I know of one person who, while drunk, had bareback sex with someone, and the next morning, found HIV medication in the person's bathroom. When confronted, the person admitted he was HIV+ and had not told my friend. My friend tested a month later, and was negative. Two months after that, he tested again, and was positive. He had not had any other partners in the intervening time, but if he had, his risk of infecting them would have been very high. I don't like being a naysayer, but having worked with a number of HIV+ people and heard their stories, the one message that comes out over and over is "I wish someone had been more aggressive in telling me, and I wish I'd listened better."
The thing that I always have in the back of my mind is when I hear people rationalize about seat belts- "I was just going to the corner store" or "I didn't want to wrinkle my shirt" or "Seatbelts are too confining". I might be more inclined to accept those reasons than I would "I wanted to show the driver how much I cared about him, so I didn't wear a seatbelt" or "He looks like a safe driver and I trust him, so I don't think I have to wear a seatbelt" or "I just wanted to see what it would be like to be in a car wreck and not have a seatbelt on". :eusa_doh: We know seatbelts save lives. Why would anyone want to not wear a seatbelt? Similarly, we know condoms save lives. I'm from the same generation as Chip. There was a time when we were scared shitless of having sex at all because we saw people our age- our friends - getting sick and dying. Back then there was a great line from a movie where one actor asked, "What do you think happens after we die?". The response was, "We get to have sex again". To our generation, a condom seems a reasonable price to pay to get to enjoy sex again. So, we can't imagine why a few minutes of pleasure is considered a choice when the risk is a pretty awful set of diseases and the very real prospect of having to tell your friends and family that you have a terminal illness. A very mature decision.
