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Safe sex?

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by IDWBF, Dec 3, 2009.

  1. IDWBF

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    I know most people don't use condoms when they do oral. Appearently the risk is extremely low, but isn't that a naive way of thinking? If the risk is there, no matter how small it may be, isn't it stupid to ignore it?

    Maybe I'm just paranoid. I tend to get annoying open wounds in my mouth, so that doesn't help. I even have one right now. Would it be safe to have oral sex like this? Is it completely unheard of to insist on using condoms during oral sex?
     
  2. Pseudojim

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    Herpes is very contagious.

    If someone with HSV-1 (herpes simplex virus 1) with a cold-sore gives oral sex (or even a kiss) to another person, there is a very high chance of transmission.

    Likewise, if someone with a genital sore from HSV-2 receives oral sex from someone uninfected, again, a very high chance of transmission.

    Also keep in mind that genital sores may also be caused by HSV-1, and mouth sores may also be caused by HSV-2, so the location of the sores is not an exact diagnostic tool for identifying which virus a person is infected with. Also, if a person is infected with both, then both have a good chance of being transmitted through sores on any part of their body.

    Even if no sores are evident, there is still a chance of transmission in either case. Sores are a definite sign of viral shedding. But lack of sores is most definitely not an assurance that viral shedding is not occuring.

    When it comes to bacterial diseases (like syphillis, gonorrhoea, chlamydia), transmission is always possible. Chlamydia is also potentially a particularly nasty and even possibly permanently blinding infection of the eye, and since oral sex involves close proximity of genitals with face, this is a big risk.

    Finally, when it comes to HIV, it IS possible to contract / transmit it via the oral pathway, especially if you have sores on the inside of your mouth. It's far less common for it to be transmitted this way as compared to say, anal or vaginal penetration, but it's a possibility that must be considered.
     
    #2 Pseudojim, Dec 3, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2009
  3. TroubledRyan

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    ...I never even heard or thought of using condems during oral o.0
    didn't rly think of it as a big risk
     
  4. Austin

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    Well, everything has a risk. Just sitting here right now a plane could crash into my house and I could die. When you get in your car and drive you are taking a risk of getting in an accident. You don't know if some car will run into you. It's up to your own judgment to gauge the risks and benefits of not wearing a condom while giving oral sex. Anyways, the odds are really low that you'd get something like HIV, but it's your choice in the end if you want to take the risk or not. As mentioned above there are probably other STDs you can get. Also you'll lower your risks a lot if you choose your partners wisely. If you're one of those total whores who has people "blow and go" your chances are probably higher to get an STD. :wink:

    Anyways, it's not stupid in my opinion to ignore the risk. As I said theres a risk in anything, and it's just like taking any other risk where your health could be affected in exchange for enjoyment (ie rollercoasters, drinking, idk?).

    Anal sex is much more likely to contract things such as HIV. I would not recommend doing it unprotected unless you and your partner have been together a long time, and you come to an agreement that you don't sleep around with other guys (but if you do stray, you will tell your partner to be safe)
     
  5. Pseudojim

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    And you have both had blood tests and showed each other the results, imo.
     
  6. Austin

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    Ya
     
  7. Lexington

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    >>>I know most people don't use condoms when they do oral. Appearently the risk is extremely low, but isn't that a naive way of thinking? If the risk is there, no matter how small it may be, isn't it stupid to ignore it?

    The way I look at it is this. Anal without condoms with an unknown partner is like running across a busy street in the middle of the block. Oral without condoms with an unknown partner is more like crossing the street with the walk-signal at the intersection. The first is way riskier. It's not like there's NO risk crossing the street with the walk-signal - people can drive carelessly, you never know - but you're in pretty safe territory there.

    Lex
     
  8. malachite

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    sex may feel good right now, STDs last forever, except goneria, but still: don't be a fool wrap your tool!
     
  9. Austin

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    *Until you die. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  10. KaraBulut

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    What you're not saying here is, "What is my risk of HIV if I do oral without condoms?".

    The answer is that the studies say it's low risk.


    But that doesn't cover treatable illnesses like chlamydia, gonorrhea, etc.

    And it doesn't cover something that we're just beginning to understand- human papilloma virus (HPV) which seems to be connected with an increase in oral cancers.


    We talk alot about condoms but there's a couple of other safer sex rules to remember:
    • Limit your number of sexual partners
    • Chose your partners wisely (and not when you're too drunk to be wise).

    These two rules will go a long way in reducing your risk of all STDs. If you're blowing someone who you don't know and whose sexual history you're unsure of, you should consider using a condom. If you're blowing someone whose sexual history you know and has been tested recently for STDs, then it's your personal choice as to whether you want to use a condom for oral.

    Always use a condom for anal. No exceptions.
     
  11. Pseudojim

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    Not to hijack the thread.... but i kinda want to flaunt this advice. If i and my prospective partner have both had blood tests, would you still say "no exceptions"?

    To be honest, i would hate to have lived my entire life without having had a guy... well you know.
     
  12. Chad

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  13. KaraBulut

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    Guys lie. They cheat. They do stupid things that they later regret.

    Frankly, having seen alot of guys who made some bad mistakes over the years, I can't imagine how having a dick without a condom up one's ass could ever compensate for years of medications, doctor visits, anxiety everytime you get a fever and having to tell your family and friends that they're probably going to outlive you.

    Barebacking is not the measure of trust and commitment in a relationship.

    If someone really cares about you, your health and safety will be more important to them than barebacking.
     
  14. Pseudojim

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    This is true... But if i'm at the same level of trust in a relationship as i would be if i were a woman wanting to conceive a baby, would you give me the same advice about vaginal intercourse?

    I know the transmissivity is lower for vaginal intercourse... Still, it's a risk.
     
  15. Shevanel

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    The Vagina is not an Anus.
     
  16. Pseudojim

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    Thanks for that...
     
  17. Chip

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    The vagina has evolved biologically to have a certain amount of protection against various biological agents. While transmission of HIV through unprotected vaginal sex is very possible (black hetero women are one of the populations with the highest new-infection rate), it is still considerably safer than unprotected anal sex.

    Additionally, men in general, and gay men in particular, cheat at alarmingly high rates. Often this happens under the influence of drugs or alcohol, where wise choices about safer sex might go out the window.

    When it's so easy to protect oneself, there's almost no downside to doing so, and the costs of not protecting oneself could easily be a lifetime of poor health, expensive medical treatment, and a shortened lifespan, I have a hard time seeing an argument that intentionally choosing not to play safe is even remotely sensible.

    If you haven't already done so, you really should read the thread that Chad quoted above.
     
  18. KaraBulut

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    Yours is a rhetorical question unless you're planning for some surgery in the future that you haven't mentioned until now.

    If you were a woman who was having sex with a man, I would recommend that you use a condom when you have anal intercourse.

    If you were a man who was having sex with a woman on her period, I would recommend that you use a condom because of the blood exposure.

    If you were a woman who was having vaginal sex with a man who had not had STD testing and that you were not in committed relationship with, I would recommend that you use a condom.

    If you were a lesbian, I would recommend that you not share toys with your partner unless you used a condom.

    However, if you were a woman who was having vaginal intercourse in a committed relationship with a man and you both had been tested for STDs, I would recommend that you use your judgment about whether to use condoms or not.

    Iincidentally, there are studies of people in relationships with disconcordant seropositivity (a fancy word for an HIV- partner in a relationship with an HIV+ partner). The studies have shown that the incidence of HIV seroconversion (HIV infection) in the HIV- partner is very rare when they consistently use condoms for both vaginal and anal intercourse.
     
    #18 KaraBulut, Dec 4, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2009
  19. Pseudojim

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    It's prudent advice, thanks