i really want to help a friend about depression she has thought of suicide and it really scaring me. She gets so sad when her boyfriend gets mad about something. Idk how to help her, Should I ask my school consular to help her? She seriously can't get over her boyfriend. I feel that she will ignore what the consular will say and think it won't help her. any help please?
It seems like so long since you posted, and it's only been a day. Anyways, here's my two cents (aka, a wall of text). I expect Biisme or another advisor will be on as well to speak on the issue as well soon enough. I'll start by saying that your school counselor can definitely help you out. They are trained for this exactly, so if you visit them they will gladly help you through the situation with your friend. Even your health or psychology teachers should know a bit. First off, if your friend is talking about depression and suicide to you, be happy. That means that the first bit of her battle is over, and she is sharing her issues with you. She could be keeping them inside, which is much much worse. Many people go for years without even admitting to themselves that they have issues, let alone others. If your friend is truly having issues with depression, counseling could be of great help to her. There are people who get through it with just their own willpower or friends, but counseling is not uncommon. It might be seasonal, biological, stress related, or a one time thing, so your friend doesn't have to worry about being pumped full of drugs if she decides to enter counseling, as they might not be needed. Depending on the school's counseling policy, she might not even have to inform her parents. What you need to know before you start this though, is that she may not want help. She will never do anything that she doesn't want, and if she isn't ready to deal with it yet, she will probably just push you away when you talk about it, and you shouldn't push her to talk either. In that case you just have to be there for her, and listen (often better than trying to respond), and remind her every day that you are excited to see her the next day. It helps more than you could possibly imagine to know there is someone who is happy to see you every day. When it all comes down to it, you have to remember that they are her issues, not yours, and you can't fix them. She has to. It might just have been a one time thing, and that isn't uncommon either, but talking about depression or suicide is always serious. Also realize that if she is really depressed, and you help her start this battle, there's a good chance you'll have to be available for her while she goes through it. Don't jump into this if you aren't prepared to stick with her. So there are my thoughts on it, coming from someone who has been through it. I only just started my counseling recently after years of depression, and I feel immensely better, but everyone is different. I feel very strongly about the issue of depression and suicide, and after months of simply reading the site, you've convinced me to become a member to help your friend, so thanks for that. I made a decision a while ago to not let people suffer through depression if they don't have to, and I intend to do whatever I can to stick to that. I'm sure everyone here loves your friend without even meeting her, and I certainly do, because she is a person, so remind her of that. She isn't alone. Try not to lose sleep over anything. Remember that it's her issues, not yours. Staying up all night thinking about it doesn't help her. If you are well rested and thinking clearly, you can help her a lot more.
i think zumbro has said some very good things for you. i think that having you to talk to will also be a great help to her. just dont push her to tell you anything she might not want to yet. you could always speak to a counselor yurself to ask for advice, dont mention who it is for just that you need help to help.
Gaz did point out something important as well there. If you do go ask for help on the issue, try not to mention your friend's name. Because she is underage and in the school system, if the staff know who you're talking about they may be legally obligated to take action, and possibly inform her parents, which might just make her feel a bit betrayed. Do still ask for help on the issue though. Even if your friend doesn't want help from a professional, they can probably tell you a bit how to deal with it if she comes to you again.
