Depression tips?

Only thing that really works is to talk about the things that make you depressed and then to find a cause for that then find a solution. everything else is a cover and a way to avoid the issues.

You can try to never be alone or try to stay away from things like music, movies, books etc. that can trigger a downward spiral but eventually it will all catch up to you.

maybe just wait and ride it out but again that most likely wont work.

and its best to deal with depression as soon as you can, before it becomes more debilitating.

 

I come from a family with hereditary depression, and I've been through it myself. I know you don't want to hear this, but I'll exercise my freedom of speech (something you appear to respect) to say it anyway; the best way to manage chronic depression is to get professional help. It doesn't need to be a "shrink", it can be a family doctor or a counselor. Self-management can work (it did for me), but it can also be dangerous especially if the self-management techniques aren't working and you find yourself spiralling further down (as was the case with my sister). I've seen depression get out of control really quickly and it's not a place I'd recommend for anyone.

Besides, your comment about "seeing a shrink" implies that it's some kind of mental quirk or shortcoming. In many cases it's a purely biological problem (i.e. a chemical imbalance), not something that's "in your mind". You're not admitting any kind of weakness, any more than if you sought treatment for pneumonia. There is no stigma to depression anymore, at least there should be no stigma.

My message to all people suffering from clinical depression (and not just having a down day) - get professional help. Don't suffer needlessly, especially if it's just on principle.

 

I can't argue with you about depression being used as a vehicle for the drug companies to peddle all kinds of pills - that's the truth. There's two ways this goes wrong; (1) they peddle these pills as cure-alls for just having a bad day, never mind for clinically diagnosed depression, and (2) they try to make patients addicted for life. All are excellent business models for their shareholders, but they suck when it comes to caring about humanity. So I totally hear where you're coming from.

It's an unfortunate truth, though, because there are many cases where the pills do actually help, and they can help a lot. You can't throw out the baby with the bathwater. There are definitely many cases where these drugs have saved lives, and my sister is a living example. She was ruined, destroyed, completely unable to carry on any sense of a life. She now has it managed, and guess what - she is no longer on the pills, and hasn't been for a good while. She had a good doctor (a medical doctor, not a "shrink") who knew when it was right to put her on medication, and who knew when to take her off of it. I wish everyone could get that kind of care. Unfortunately, your scenario is more the norm.

 

What I suggest to people with depression is to try to socialize more, get out and do things, and focus on the positive (which is hard).

If your depression appears in the lack of environmental factors or situational issues, then medication might be beneficial. Therapy also does wonders as well, though I can't tell you to utilize either one of them.

 

Having been there, I know how you feel. Please know that there are steps that you can take that may make you feel better. I was depressed for many years and finally emerged from it after coming out. I did so without taking medication, although I did seek therapy, which was hugely beneficial. In addition to the therapy, here are some of the best things I have found for dealing with depression:

1. Exercise. Regular and strenuous cardio and weight lifting does wonders for me. It is hard at first if you are depressed, but once you start and stick with it, I found there is nothing better.

2. Be Good to Yourself. Do things that you like to do. Treat yourself well. When we get depressed, we tend to pull back from the world and the activities that we like to do. You should do just the opposite. If you like to shoot, go out with the gun. If you like to hike, find some great trails. If music is your thing, go to a concert. Whatever it is, just do it!

3. Talk to People. This feels hard to do, particularly when we are depressed. Depending on your personality, it may be embarrassing to tell someone how you are feeling. However, getting things off of our chest can do wonders. It also feels really good when we do so and receive support from others and realize how much they care about us.

4. Don’t Become Isolated. When we are depressed and withdrawn, we dwell on how bad we feel. Get out there and interact with people. Force yourself to be around others. Don’t spend time alone just thinking about how bad you feel.

Lastly, I understand your issues with respect to a background and mental health counseling for depression. One thing to consider: will a career that requires a background that you cannot pass if you have had therapy actually make you happy? Consider whether such a career is worth it if you are depressed. Those professions also involve a lot of stress and being a part of some pretty bad and depressing stuff. If you are depressed now and start such a job without first getting help, how will you feel once those professional stressors start affecting you?

 

I was also the kind of guy who did not want to burden others with my problems. Talking about my feelings was nearly impossible, as well. But, I found that my friends and family really didn’t mind listening and being there for me. Some of my friends also found that it was okay for them to talk to me about their problems. I became much closer with people by sharing my feelings with them. I was actually missing that level of intimacy in my relationships with friends and that was contributing to my depression.

I recognize the downward cycle you are in from your words. You sound just like I did. Don’t give in to these negative feelings and thoughts. The best part of therapy was learning how to cognitively alter my thought process so I did not think those negative thoughts. I felt so out of shape too, at one point. But, I forced myself to the gym regularly. I began to feel better. I also saw results in the mirror, which further motivated me. You can do the same. Just force yourself, one workout at a time.

By the way, I don’t think that seeking therapy will necessarily disqualify you from your chosen career. What typically gets people disqualified is lying about it on an application and then failing the polygraph.

 

i'm sure these have all been mentioned... but the best thing is to talk, there are so many people on EC that would be willing to talk to you.. or i'm sure if you have close friends, etc. ; eating right, being social, exercising, all of those things really do help. trying to find out the cause of it and talking about it and trying to resolve those issues are really helpful as well

 

Well, as far as seeing a counselor goes, I'm going to suggest it, no matter whether you want to hear it or not. I went from trying to kill myself a year go to being happy now, in less than 6 months of counseling. Best part is, I DID NOT have to take drugs. They didn't even suggest it. They only use drugs in very serious cases, or where it is entirely biological. For me, I wasn't in immediate danger of killing myself, and it wasn't biological, so I didn't take any drugs. We just talked and figured out why I felt the way I did (it was a way of thought, using very negative words), I changed it, and I'm on the road to recovery.

So, advice (mainly for when you're alone. They've given you good advice for otherwise.)

If you notice yourself starting to think bad thoughts, think about something else. It sounds stupid, but it's the truth. You have people who love you, no matter what. People who would do anything for you. Remember that, and it helps. You have people who will stick with you through the worst of times, and remembering that can help immensely.

Use positive thoughts. Don't use terms like "I should" or "I have to." These only lead to disappointment if you can't do it. Rather, tell yourself "I'm going to try to", or "I want to". Don't put rules on yourself that you don't have to.

If you find yourself starting to worry about something (that was my huge issue), recognize whether or not you can realistically do something about it. If you can, than write it down, and do it. If you can't, well, why are you worrying? It isn't up to you. Realizing that can be a huge relief. If you're having trouble sleeping, make a list of what you have to do the next day, so you can stop worrying about it, and just do it the next day.

And finally, smile. Another one that sounds stupid, but smiling releases endorphins, and endorphins lead to happy thoughts and feelings. Smile at people, say hello, converse with the small people at work. Don't be a stranger, and you'll find that people tend to care about you.

 

So, let’s hear your plan for tomorrow. I am going to be a nagging, pain in the ass now. What are you going to do tomorrow to help yourself? Are you going to go for a walk, a run, to the gym, out for dinner or a beer with friends? Each day, you should do at least one thing to help yourself that has been suggested above. What will it be for tomorrow?

 

Hey JC -

Thanks for your post on my "what the heck have I done" thread.

I've been under treatment for depression since 2000. For the first 6 years the medication my internist prescribed quit working (Effexor XR). I was then on Cymbalta a year before it quit working. I stopped taking it cold turkey and had a bit of a reaction. I ended up in a psychiatrist's office.

I have a new psychiatrist I began with in December who is great. The psychiatrist I had for the 3 years before that was a disaster. It turns out that the first medication she gave me to treat bipolar type II was being administered at 7 times the recommended dose. I was a zombie. The next drug she tried was its own flavor of hell (avoid Geodon at all costs). It turns out taking that medication for my disorder is like using a sledge hammer to kill a gnat.

All of this is to say that I stayed with my previous psychiatrist way too long. I complained at every session and was told that what I was feeling was the new normal. What a load of crap.

If you do consult a therapist, don't stay with something that isn't working too long.

Also, would it show up on your medical record if you didn't file insurance?

 

That!

I saw a counsellor as I was trying to deal with being gay, being gay while being married, and being an addict. Having someone help me through those things was invaluable. I simply couldn't have done it on my own. At the same time, it was that therapist who went with me to the local hospital one morning and sat with me while I waited to talk to a crisis counsellor - because I was having some pretty vivid suicidal thoughts. (The crisis counsellor was a waste of time to be honest, but having my own therapist sit with me in the waiting room may very well have saved my life.)

I also was put on medication by my GP that very day. I left the hospital and went to his office and told him where I had been, and why, and he put me on medication. It made a world of difference. But that's just me. 3 years later I'm working with my doctor on stopping - very very slowly.

Only AFTER I had started with therapy and my medication and my 12 step recovery work did I find someone special to spend my life with. I'm glad I didn't meet him sooner - or I'm sure I'd have messed it up. Only because I was in a healthy state of mind was I able to cope with starting a relationship. And over 2 years later we're still together and each happier than we've ever been.

Exercise has made a huge difference in my life. I've also done the P90X program recently. I've lost 35lbs since last July, and I feel GREAT! My weight was another aspect of my life that I felt I simply had no control over - but I have proven myself wrong.

Stick with it - all of it. It will work out in the end. You have an extremely bright future ahead of you, I know it.