Cutting an self injury....

You said you have been diagnosed as being depressed. Does your therapist know your cut and burn yourself? Is this something you can talk about with him/her?

 

When I was stopping I found it really helpful to drag ice cubes over the areas I usually cut when I felt the need to, you get the similar sensation of release but don't do any real damage. Having said that this was after about 3 years of constant cutting to the point were it had become ritualistic, and I told myself I was worth more and properly wanted to stop. I had a couple of relapses but I found the ice cube technique very helpful. Now I haven't cut, and save for a few exceptions haven't even wanted to for about 2 years now hope this inspires you to knowing it can get better and even though I know it's difficult it is more than possible to stop Good luck x

 

It can be useful to try and distract yourself from wanting to cut/harm yourself, coming on EC to chat/post/play games is a great distraction as there are always people here whatever time of day it is, but actual phyiscal coping methods as Coldsnap mentioned can be useful too, anything that gives you the same kind of release without actually harming yourself, ice cubes rubber bands. It depends what kind of things you are into but sometime doing some form of exercise can help or listening to music and dancing about or something like that can help.

I think you should continue to follow the advice from your therapists and stick around here there are people here that understand what you are going through, some of them are probably in the same position as you and others like Coldsnap have come through the other side, the most important thing is that you want to beat it, and whilst you feel like that you will get there it will just take time.

 

Hi there

I completly understand where you stand. I have been severly depressed several years ago and I used to self-harm a lot. It's an extremly addictive behavior.
It's great that you are already seeing a therapist to help you deal with the depression. My therapist probably saved my life at that time.
Aside from therapy, I suggest you to try develloping strategies to avoid from cutting. First, put the things you use to cut or burn away, don't keep that stuff in your bedroom, so that you have to go to find them when you feel the urges to self-harm. The time it'll take you to reach them, you may find the energy to stop yourself from doing it.
When you feel the urge for self-harming, try not to stay alone, call a friend, call a helpline, try to speak to someone, it can help a lot.
If you can't see someone, or talk to someone, find something that helps you releasing the pain and the anger in a way that won't harm yourself.
Sport is a very good outlet because it's tiring, and it helps realising endorphines that will help your mood to lift. Go outside and run for 20 min, go to the gym, buy a jump rope. Doing something creative might also help you : writting, drawing or playing music can help you to express your pain and anger another way.
If the urges are so intense that you can't do these things, try to focus on something that will keep your hands occupied. I remember that sometimes, when the urges were really intense, I was just sitting on my bed, tearing piece of paper in as many little pieces I can, latter, I started to write down what I wanted to do and then tear the paper appart. It was my way to cope but you certainly can find your own.
If you need to talk about it or about anything else, you are welcome to PM me anytime you want.
Take care, Eleanor

 

You're not the only one who's made the observation that it seems like an addiction.
I think the psyocological standpoint is that it's not, but it doesn't matter when you haven't cut in 3 days and are shaking like you're no longer high anymore...(don't ask how I know this one)

This is off a sticky I wrote for another forum, since it's 7:20AM and i'm too tired to think of everything without skipping some of the really good ones

2 years?
Nice...

Or, better yet. get rid of the tools And yes I mean it. Be rid of them. You can't use a blade on yourself if you don't have access to it.

--------------------------------------------------

You probably should start working with your therapist about the SI.
Why?
It's hell to get out without help. I'm a month (and a few odd days) without somehow distroying my skin... it's hard. Not gonna BS to you, it's hard to stop.

It's also worth it to stop. You might not be going deep or burning badly now, but that can change. Almost anyone who didn't stop soon enough can probably tell you this too...
You'll be fine, in control of it. Then something pushes you over the edge, and now you're wrapping your arm up hoping it'll be OK.


(*hug*)

 

Hi there. I'm an addict of a different sort. From what I've heard people say about cutting, it sounds very much like an addiction. I say that because cutting is your coping mechanism - your 'escape' from reality. You turn to cutting when you're upset or uncomfortable about something rather than dealing with the thing itself. Unfortunately, your coping mechanism becomes a problem in and of itself, and without another way of dealing with problems, it becomes a viscious circle. All addictions work this way.

Most approaches for addiction involve simply stopping. Doing whatever you can to simply stop. Using alternative outlets as suggested above is a great way at first. I do not recommend just cutting a little and somehow tapering off. You need to stop. And yes - you'll have feelings of withdrawal. Those feelings are actually you starting to feel your actual emotions rather than numbing them with cutting. In a way it's a good thing.

Working with your therapist is a great thing too. I actually worked with an addictions counsellor. They specialize in helping with this kind of thing. Perhaps you want to look into that kind of help.

And while I don't think they exist, having a 12 step program for self harm would be something you'd benefit from. So in the absence of that, you might consider attending an open AA meeting. The principles are all the same. It isn't the actual substance or action (alcohol or cutting) that is the problem - it's your ability to deal with things that are going on in your life...

If you'd like to PM me to discuss this one on one, please do so. I'd be happy to help in whatever way I can.

 

I may seem a little insensitive here. While depression is a tough thing, you cannot let the diagnosis become a crutch or excuse for irresponsible or damaging behavior. I.E. I have depression so I cant go to school today. I have depression so I am compelled to cut myself.

The hard part about depression is understanding that even with the problem, you still have to be responsible and live in the same world, by the same rules as everyone else.

The answer to not cutting yourself anymore, as insensitive as it seems, is to not cut yourself anymore. That is step one. Step 2 is finding proper outlets for the anxiety and depression. It may not be what you want to hear. It may not even be what countless others have told you with big hugs and "it's alrights". However if any of us are taking part in destructive behavior, we need to dig deep and find the intestinal fortitude to stop our destructive behavior.

Yes, I know it's not easy. No, that doesn't mean you don't have to stop. Take control of your life and your actions. Don't let some doctors diagnosis convince you that you don't have control over things that you do have control over.

 

^Unless you've walked a mile in my shoes...

It isn't easy for someone who hasn't suffered in the grips of an addiction to understand what it is like. Just as it's difficult for someone who is straight has trouble understanding what it means to be gay.

Thankfully, most people don't fall victim to addictions, but a large number of people do. They're not at fault - it's quite often something that sneaks up on you have a serious problem before you know you have a problem.

Once you've recognized a problem, then it certainly is the responsibility of the individual to deal with it. Nobody else can. But it is amazing how powerful the urges are, and how weak we can sometimes be to them.

 

^ I agree wholeheartedly. I am not judging here. My point is that when you identify destructive behavior, it is your responsibility to get it under control. However, I also think its important to note that we aren't talking about alcohol or drug addiction here. We are talking about a compulsive habit that someone has come to rely on.

Certainly there are huge parallels to draw here, which you did very aptly in your post, however I disagree that cutting and alcoholism/drug addiction are even in the same ballpark. While they might be spurred by many of the same factors, they are very different animals. Chemical dependency being the major difference between the two.

I am very skeptical when I hear a 16 or 17 year old person who admits that they are confused about their sexuality has been diagnosed with "depression". When I was younger I knew so many kids who were diagnosed with ADD. That was the big disorder of my era. They (myself included btw) were put on very powerful drugs. For so many kids, this became a reason not to be responsible for their own actions. "I can't be quiet in class or pass my tests because I have ADD". Now it's depression.

I don't believe the OP is "addicted" to cutting. I have never heard of such a thing. I do believe that she has an honest compulsion to cut. I believe she feels like she "has to cut". I definitely do not judge her for it in the least. The pressures on gay kids is unimaginable unless you have been there. My point though is that cutting IS something she can control. She can stop. She should stop. And what will lead to her stopping is making the decision for herself that she IS IN CONTROL of that.

I know that flies in the face of admitting that you are powerless over your addiction (maybe the most controversial of the 12 steps), but again, I don't think she is an addict. I think she is someone who is falling back on a very bad habit to cope with a very difficult situation. With her therapist, she should find another outlet.

 

^
I think we can agree that we disagree on that point.
Cutting, or any kind of self-harming attitude, is addictive. I have been in the place where the OP is and I can relate completly to what she says.
It's a great thing that you didn't have to deal with this, as I am sure you have enough on your plate, but I doubt that someone who never experienced self-harming addiction could realise how addictive it might be.
It's been 6 years now that I haven't done any of the things I used to do to self-harm, but when I feel low, or angry, hurting myself is still the first thing that cross my mind, and if until now I have managed to resist the urges because I know myself enought to know how to do so, it doesn't mean I'll always be able to do it.
Of course this doesn't mean that people who self-harm don't have control on what they are doing. They do, and they are the only one who can do what it takes to get rid of their addiction.

 

^ Point taken. I certainly didn't mean to judge and probably came off more harshly than I meant to. My apologies to anyone I offended.

 

^ As far as I'm concerned, apologies accepted
I totaly get you didn't meant to offense anyone and as I know I am very of touchy on that matter, I apologize in return if I have overreacted on what you said.

 

Addiction is a pretty mysterious animal. But the fact is that many behavours are considered to be addictive, not just substances. Gambling, shopping, eating and sex. They all qualify. They all become coping mechanisms to escape or avoid whatever negative emotion is presenting itself. And I think cutting can fall into the same category. The urges are overwhelming.

And there is an element of chemical dependency. With sex addiction, the chemicals released in the brain apparently have an effect much the same as cocaine. In a way it IS a chemical dependency, only it's not a substance that needs to be ingested or consumed - it's one that is produced naturally but with unatural frequency and intensity.

I'm not suggesting that everyone who cuts is an addict who can't stop.

However, I present it this way because I certainly didn't think I was a sex addict. It never ocurred to me. But at the same time I also didn't know what was wrong with me - why I was capable of doing so many things that were totally out of character for me. I couldn't figure out why I wasn't able to stop, even though I truly wanted to. Had someone suggested to me earlier that I was an addict, I might have spared myself some months of frustration and despair.

 

I used to cut, fireburns, salt burns, anything that really hurt enough to get me through. I had an addiction. I couldn't stop. I didn't tell anyone, untill I finally couldn't hide it anymore. I told my friend. She helped me through it.

I found that just keeping myself occupied was the main thing. If I didn't have time to think about it, then I wouldn't want to do it. It was hard, yes. But once you're through it, you feel proud, and better about yourself.

If you need to talk about anything, feel free to message me. I'll try to help the best way I can.
Hang in there, and try your best <3 It doesn't stop overnight.

 

I used to cut too. I started cutting at 13 and i continued to cut till i was 19. I totally agree that it was an addication and i would do everything i could to hide it. When I was younger i wasn't as good at hiding and some of my closer friends saw the cuts and i did my best to come up with excuses for them. As cutting slowly overtook my life i had to find new areas of my body to cut, it started on my wrists then my upper arms where my T-shirts could cover the cuts and then my ankles and upper thighs. By the time i was 18 i was cutting every time something bothered me and was upset i always had this habbit of cutting in the same spots too and likeed to open up the old wound. Eventually i started to slip with hiding my cuts and I was confronted my friends, school counslers, Parents until i couldn't lie my way out of it. I went to thearpy and learned how to deal with my stresses other ways but I strongly agree that it is an addication and it can be hard to overcome