These past few days Iv been having horrible nightmares of close family members either dieing or having accidents.What makes it disturbing and horrifying is that there events are so possible and clear.I woke up in teers.Im even affraid now to sleep.I dont think i can take it. Iv been feeling depressed. My biggest concern is that what if my parents die.I know that is a horrible thought but it crosses my mind alot.who will then acompany me through life. I would be lonely. who would like a guy like me. Only reason for wakeing up in the morning is to see the smiles of my family, And also the thought that I can not only make something of myself but to progress and help others in the world.knowing i can change something that well help the people all over the world.Events concerning my causin and her best friend has open a new reality for me. Now i know that the world is cruel but sometimes has no justice and it brings me to teers, making me angry craving for justice. It makes me think sometimes. So what if Im gay compare to What happened and is happening in this world being Gay and stressing weather people will accept me or like me for who i am is a peple in a world of issues. How sad. It makes you think how can someone not loose there mind with such horrible thinks happening to them. The only thing keeping me stable is my faith and hope thing well turn out better.:icon_sad: I went to councellers but all they do is put you on meds.and as for talking to them about personal issure and how i feel about them.they would lock meee uup.:icon_sad: excercising is my best stress reliever.You could call me athletic now lol. Music is ok. Comment, advice, support. What would you do to blow some stess away.
(*hug*) There are counselors who won't recommend drugs or lock you up. Most psychologists hold psychiatric medicine in very low regard. The general recommendation that I give is to call a crisis hotline (you can read about my experiences with them here). You also mentioned your faith as a rock; have you considered talking to your pastor/priest/rabbi/imam/etc? More generally, the world is not as bad as it seems. When we're depressed, it's like wearing shaded spectacles, everything seems nastier than it actually is. Are things bad? Yes, but for every story of depravity and cruelty you encounter, there're ten stories of love and kindness that you don't hear about. Doesn't mean they aren't there.
Dreams are just that - dreams. They are not psychic premonitions. I've had some pretty terrible dreams before, but I just have to remind myself that it wasn't real, and that they would never actually happen. Sometimes when you're feeling low you just have to take a step back and breath once in a while. Take a break from watching the news, or reading the newspaper. They sensationalize and have 100 reports of terrible occurances in the world for every 1 story of happiness or success. Watching this day after day can make anyone feel depressed. But just because there are terrible things happening in the world, that is no reason to trivialize your own struggles. They are important, too. As Liam mentioned, it isn't a job of a counselor to lock you up. They aren't going to do anything unless you're a threat to yourself or others. I'd keep with it, and make sure the "counselors" you see talk instead of prescribe. Or, as Liam suggests, a hotline might help you considerably. Please consider it. I hope you feel better soon.
I hardly remember my dreams. And when I do remember them, they're usually horrific. someone close to me dying or killing me in a horrible fashion. *shrug* I've gotten used to it. My mind wanders and lets the gates to my imagination lose when I sleep I guess. As for stressing about being gay in a horrible world, that isn't true. Yea, I do worry some days about how certain people will react. However, those days are getting farther and fewer. What helps me get through those days? Kind, accepting friends. And now that my family is starting to come around, I see them as valid support too. Sure it's not easy all the time, but life is never easy. Would you want it to be an easy ride the whole way? Probably not if yout hink about it, because then there'd be no challenge to it. Nothing to shoot for in your dreams or your goals that you pursue. Surround yourself with posisitve people who are accepting. That may mean dropping friends who aren't supportive or having a heart to heart with them. You need to change your surroundings. There are good people out there. And once you have a support network you can work on boosting yourself up again and trying to see the world in a new light. The whole world isn't bad. Just parts of it. (*hug*)
Dreams are not premonitions of the future - they are a glimpse into our subconscious minds. Actually as a software programmer I can understand the function of dreams - they are a side-effect of the brain's natural activity of sorting through its short-term memories and then either discarding them or filing them into long-term memory. It makes quite a bit of sense to me. What you see as a dream is usually a disconnected storyline of these various thoughts being organized and filed. But as a consequence, I think dreams are often telling us what is most important in our minds. For example if you've been burying something deep in your subconscious but it needs addressing, it will often show in your dreams because the brain is not able to tuck it fully away in long-term memory. In your case I see almost the opposite effect of what you've said - you say that your dreams of death in the family are causing you to fear the loss of your family on who you depend, but I think it's the deep fear of losing your family that's causing you to dream about it. Your consciousness is telling you that there's a major issue brewing deep inside that you might want to deal with. I've come to take dreams for what they are - good indicators of things that need attention or addressing. Don't fear them and don't worry about them coming true. Instead try and hear what they are telling you about yourself and your feelings without getting too invested in those feelings, and then see if there's anything you can do in your "awake state" to resolve them. Maybe this recurrent nightmare is telling you to get other people into your life so that you're less dependent on your family for emotional support.
Bad dreams are simply that. They are our mind working overtime. Our worries, sometimes not even conscious worries, make it into our dreams and reveal themselves to us. To me..these are opportunities, although not everyone would agree of course. Bad dreams show us some of our worst fears..of things that may happen or could possibly happen but in most cases would not. Sometimes rational but mainly irrational ideas. These dreams are shown to us by our own mind..to help us get over that fear. Maybe the reason you are having these dreams is because you know that you need to get over this fear of these things possibly happening (I'm not saying you will..not sure any of us could in this case) but it is possible. Only by getting over this fear and leaving it behind you will you be able to move on and stop having these dreams. By no longer fearing the thought will they stop haunting your sleep. I have the same worries but it is possible each and every day that something could happen to either myself or someone I know. I accept this fact and thus have no bad dreams about them. In fact.. by accepting the world as it is I have not had any bad dreams in nearly a year. For the time..you may continue to experience these dreams but they will go away.
Yeah, I have problems with dreams as well and it starts to become really hard to keep then and reality apart. I keep my day really timetabled so if something happens outside of what i'm expecting my first reaction is to dismiss it as not being real. Then I go from there. Sometimes i'm wrong and it is real but for the most part it works. I'm not recommending this, i'd much rather see a counseller but as that isn't am option for me I just go with what I got.
