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Weight

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by Swamp56, Apr 8, 2010.

  1. Swamp56

    Swamp56 Guest

    My weight is of great concern to me. I do not meet any classification requirements for obesity, but I am overweight. Recently, due to a mixed episode (mixture of mania and depression), I have started to gain weight as my appetite has shot through the roof.

    I have been trying to eat, at the max, 3 meals per day. Usually, I only have 2 (lunch and dinner). What is also odd is that my food intake has not been altered too much. I do notice, however, that my digestive system has slowed to a crawl.

    In the past, I have engaged in purging behavior (vomiting, use of laxatives, etc) in order to try and make myself look and feel thinner (due to the relatively scarcity of doing this, I do not meet the criteria for bulimia nervosa). I also feel that people will be repulsed by my weight. Because of this, I also feel as if I'll never be able to find a bf. It has lowered my self-esteem to a tremendous proportion.

    In terms of exercise, I walk about a mile going from class to class at least 3 to 4 days per week. People have suggested that I go to the gym on campus, but I'm absolutely petrified of social contact.

    I'm not exactly sure what to do :/ .
     
    #1 Swamp56, Apr 8, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 8, 2010
  2. Corny

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    don't eat less, eat healthy in small servings throughout the day.

    go to a gymn or a public pool where you won't run into someone that you know .. maybe that helps.
     
  3. Sylver

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    I've been there so I know what you're going through. (*hug*)

    I could write a book on this topic, but that isn't going to help you in the short term. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: So let me throw out a couple of key points to consider.

    First of all low self-esteem and weight problems are more than just loosely associated with each other. They reinforce each other and create a massive negative spiral. If you don't fix both at the same time, then it is very difficult to solve one while the other festers under the surface. I was at a point once where I lost 60 lbs and actually was at my target weight. But I had major self-esteem issues, and contrary to what one might think, they didn't go away when I was thinner. I still thought I looked hideous and I still hated myself. And it took about 2 years for me to gain all that weight back and more...

    The worst possible scenario, and it sounds like you're already here, is when eating becomes an act of association. So you start to eat because you're unhappy, or you start to eat to pass the time, or you start to eat because you're lonely. And the negative cycle gets kicked into overdrive. It becomes critical to find a way to disconnect eating from self-gratification or from being an escape.

    So however you approach it, consider that you have to take on both of these problems simultaenously. Shockingly I think you'll find that the weight is easier to lose than the self-esteem issues. But I believe both are achievable.

    Specifically to the weight issue, let me make a suggestion. Don't go on a "diet". I don't just mean like Weight Watchers or anything, I mean don't even tell yourself that you're on a diet. Make two resolutions; (1) that you will weigh yourself each week, and only once a week at the same time on the same day, and (2) that you will eat "healthier". The first is important for two reasons; it gives you a quantitative measurement of your progress, and once even just a pound or two roll off the scale it will give you powerful motivation to keep going.

    The healthy eating part is by far the most important. I come from a family of medical doctors and registered dieticians, and from lots of talking to them plus reading a whole lot of books and research papers, it is obvious that the #1 cause for obesity or overweight in North America is the food that we eat. It may be hard to believe, but it is probable that the crap foods we eat here actually cause us to overeat. Conversely, eating those same foods in lower quantities leaves us starving. Here's just one interesting thought - if every single day you ate over 3,000 calories in the form of only things you could buy at McDonalds, and then you analyzed the nutritional content of what you ate, you would technically be suffering from malnutrition. More interestingly - if you cut that back to less than 1,500 calories a day but still McDonalds - you would be suffering from worse malnutrition!

    Is McDonalds an extreme example? Perhaps. But let me then scare you by saying that the same is true for almost anything you can buy in a box or in the frozen foods section of your local grocery store. Processed food is for all purposes equivalent to eating at McDonalds every day. God didn't create food for us in a box or a bag.

    There were two threads about a month ago, I think in this section, that gave some excellent advice on some very simple healthy eating habits. I would strongly urge you to find them (and I really wish the mods would either pin them at the top or start a permanent healthy eating thread because this is sooooo important and the question keeps coming up!) and follow the advice given.

    Here's the thing - and you can take it from me because I'm living proof - when you adjust your eating habits to respect how your body was designed to process food in the first place, your weight equilibrium automatically starts to adjust itself. In other words you just start to lose weight without changing anything else! Now if you still have trouble getting to your goal, you can look further. For me, portion size is still an issue so I have to watch it, but that is anything but difficult - as long as I apply effective tricks like drinking a full glass of water right before each big meal. I do not feel deprived and I do not feel hungry.

    Will I have to be careful with food for the rest of my life? Yes. Does that fact bother me? No. It may be my burden to bear in life (that's how I look at it in my darker moments), but it's trivial compared to people who have physical or intellectual handicaps but still live their lives to the fullest.

    Exercise is important, but it's more for improving your mood and your self-esteem than it is for losing weight. No matter what others might wish, the cold hard facts are irrefutable - without a change in eating habits exercise will not cause you to lose weight. Any extra calories you burn from exercise and from a resulting increased metabolism will be offset by a natural increase in appetite. Your body isn't stupid - it knows it's expending more energy and so it will try to make it back up on the front end (i.e. through your pie hole :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:).

    However... exercise can make you feel better. You're a psych nerd so you know about endorphins. I'm a computer programmer so I don't have a clue how they work, but as a jogger I can tell you that they do work. So I would strongly encourage you to take up some form of regular physical activity, something you can enjoy. And it doesn't have to be around people - jogging around campus in the evening is a wonderful solo activity and you can very quickly grow to enjoy it.

    But I also woulnd't pass too quickly on the "side benefits" that group physical activities could bring. If you get involved in sports, even low-social-energy sports like raquetball or tennis, you'll be getting out among people like yourself. Some of these are bound to grow into friendships just because that's how humans work. Force yourself into relatively benign social situations and it will pay dividends.

    Managing your self-esteem is more difficult, and as someone who has fought with low self-esteem and still fights with it daily, I feel less than sincere in giving you advice. But I can tell you two things; you have to remove any association between eating and feeling good (i.e. the "pacifier effect"), and you must not be led into the trap of thinking that losing weight is going to make you feel better about yourself. It actually will to a degree, but it won't exorcise those inner demons that are causing the low self-esteem.

    I sense a little obsession with how other people think of you and look at you, which isn't uncommon with low self-esteem. Do you have friends, real friends that like you no matter what? You sound like you've exiled yourself from society a little. I think you're being a little unfair to yourself. You know as well as I do that you're a very likeable person, and it's only you that's being hard on yourself. There are literally tons of people out there who see you much differently that how you see yourself - they see someone interesting who could probably be a good friend, but who's built a wall around themselves and isn't letting anyone in. It's kinda hard to befriend someone like that - not because you're not likeable, but because you won't let them in!

    I really don't think you're all that far from a major turnaround in your life. A few tweaks here and there and a dash of motivation to get you to started and the rest should take care of itself. You and I have a lot in common, so I'd be only too glad to give you some additional personal attention if you need it. It would be my pleasure! :slight_smile:
     
  4. Emberstone

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    what I was going to say. 3 small meals is actually fairly unhealthy, even though thats almost habitual.


    To add to that, when you eat 3 meals, you are going to eat larger portions when you dont necessarily need that large of a portion. What your body does not immediatly utilize from the meal for energy, it will store as fat for future energy use. By breaking it up into say six meals, you gain better control. that way, you utilize more, and store less as fat, and wont deal with feeling hungry as much.

    Thats what my dad does to help control his blood suger levels as a diabetic. he has a strict schedule of 6-7 small meals a day so that he has better control and his blood suger does not spike as much after a meal.

    Really, everyone should do it. also, eating slower can help to some extent, because your body will begin to digest it as it comes, so it spreads out digestion slightly, which can also make a difference in overall health and weight management.
     
  5. mm91

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    ^^^ Yesss! When your body isn't used to being fueled up regularly it stores fat to burn when it's not being fed. If you get your body used to being fueled up every few hours by eating 5-6 small meals a day your body doesn't store as much fat. Also eat as soon as you wake up. That's a good thing to do especially since your body has just went through how every many hours you slept without any food.

    I'm not trying to be rude, but I'll be blunt. Walking to class isn't exercise. You need to do something more physical. Joining a gym would be a good idea. Maybe joining some sort of a sport? Jogging. Swimming is a really great workout.

    Start working your muscles. Muscles burn fat. So getting them going with maybe some weightlifting will help you out.
     
  6. Emberstone

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    I am currently doing yoga three days a week at 8am for flexibility (had to do a sit and reach test for a health class... couldnt touch the wall), and at 11am, 45 minutes in a cardio core conditioning class, for good areobic activity, and work to emphasis a strong back and torso for health and injury prevention.

    I have to eat in small meals because i get very little time from 8am-3pm on mwf to eat, so I have no choice. I already have cut about 2 pounds from my average weight (it changes during the day) in two weeks because of my activity.
     
  7. KaraBulut

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    Well, the first question is whether you're on any of the meds that have weight gain as a side effect.

    The second question is what is your end goal- to get into better physcial shape or just to trim excess fat and slim down?
     
  8. Swamp56

    Swamp56 Guest

    Any of my current meds? No. I was on a rather high dose of quetiapine, which make me gain a lot of weight. I lost most of that when I was taken off though.

    I just want to not look/feel fat.
     
  9. Sylver

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    If you want to boil down everything I said to you earlier, it's that looking fat and feeling fat are two different things and need to be addressed as two different things, but simultaenously.
     
  10. I'm classified as "morbidly obese" right now, but I've lost 15 lbs in the past three weeks since I decided I'm going to lose weight. I have cut back on how much soda I'm drinking and i'll be trying to get more active as well
     
  11. Johnnieguy

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    You're right to not be drinking pop.

    Try the Jamie Oliver diet..Eat freshly prepared food. Nothing out of a bag or a box.