I'm sure there has been threads about this already and it may be a dumb question. Can you contract HIV if you are both negative and neither you nor your partner is having sex with anyone else? Just wondering because when I read anything about it, it sounds like you're more or less guaranteed to contract HIV eventually. Anyway, a little more info from you guys would be great!
Check out this thread: http://www.emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6546 And no - you're not 'more or less guaranteed to contract HIV eventually'. If you don't have HIV and your partner doesn't have HIV, then neither of you can contract HIV simply by having sex. The issue is that you can't know 100% for certain that your partner doesn't have HIV. And that's why you need to use condoms when engaging in anal sex. Hope that helps.
There's no way to become HIV infected other than through contact with bodily fluids from an infected person. Sex with an infected person is the most common but there are other ways as well... sharing needles with IV drug abuse, the (now almost nonexistent) transmission via transfusion with infected blood, etc. It's very, very wrong to assume that everyone is guaranteed to get infected. I know plenty of people who were sexually active in the worst part of the epidemic (mid 80s) but were cautious about always being safe... and they've remained healthy and HIV-. At the same time, it's also true that if you have a lot of sex, and frequently go without protection, that you will almost certainly become infected. All it takes is once, and I personally know a half dozen people who all became infected under the age of 20, because they didn't use protection. In a couple of cases, they'd had only one or two partners total, and in one case, it was a single unprotected encounter. Partners lie, and they cheat. I can't tell you how many people I know who have been with partners who were supposedly virgins, but turned out not to be. And sometimes, your partner is honest, but his ex-partners may have lied or cheated on him. In total, about 30% of teens under 25 who are HIV positive don't know they are positive. So the thing you have to remember is, no matter how much you want to believe your partner is honest, truthful, loving, and would never lie or hurt you, given the rampant cheating and lack of honesty, you should really consider whether or not you're willing to gamble your life on whether a partner -- even one you've been with for 6 months or a year or whatever -- is being completely honest, completely faithful, and hasn't gotten infected without his knowledge. All that said... as long as you use condoms and practice other safer sex techniques and use common sense, you should be fine.
Thanks so Jim for the link and Chip for brief summery. That clears a lot of things up! I would never consider having unprotected sex without first knowing what my partner's status is with STDs and such. However, if both my partner and I have been tested and are negative and it is a monogamous relationship, is it still necessary to use condoms? (total hypothetical situation here)
IF you're both negative - and that's been confirmed with at least two tests taken some time apart - and IF you're both totally monogamous, then yes, you can forgo condoms. But. Far too many guys end up contracting HIV (or other sexually transmitted diseases) from somebody they thought they could trust. And contracting an STD isn't a sort of "whoopsie" mistake - it can have some pretty dire consequences. Because of that, it's ALWAYS better to be safe than sorry. I've been partnered for over a decade now in a monogamous relationship. And I still use condoms. For safety? Partially, yes. But I'm also completely comfortable with them. It takes almost no time at all to get one on properly, and if used correctly, they feel just as good as not using one. As an added bonus, it makes cleaning up a lot easier. A lot of people seem to look for loopholes. "What if X, Y and Z? Is it OK to skip condoms then?" Frankly, why look for escape clauses? If you use condoms every time, you don't have to concern yourself with whether or not this particular situation is "safe". It's a good habit to get into. So start buying condoms and lube, and teach yourself how to use them. That way, when the time comes, you can just slap one on without hardly thinking about it. Lex
Lex has covered it pretty well. Here's what I'll add. When most people fall in love with someone, they are ABSOLUTELY CONVINCED that that person will *always* love them just as much, be totally faithful, honest, and truthful, never put them at risk, etc. etc. And no matter what anyone says, until you've been badly screwed, no one ever wants to believe that isn't true. Here's the rub: If you're right, and the person is completely honorable, never ever gets drunk or puts themselves in a position where their judgement might be impaired and they might allow something to happen, and never, ever cheats intentionally, and always looks out for themselves... then you should be safe. BUT... statistically, that is rare. Boyfriends cheat, sometimes intentionally, sometimes by using the excuse of "Oh, I was drunk/high/etc and didn't know what I was doing", sometimes "Oh, he forced himself on me, what was I supposed to do"... the excuses would fill a phone book. If you use a condom and other safer sex techniques, you'll never have to worry. If you don't, there is always a chance that your "I'll-love-you-forever-and-never-hurt-you" boyfriend will cheat, get infected with something, and pass it to you. There's no meaningful downside to using a condom. There is an ENORMOUS meaningful downside to NOT using one. Ask any person who has HIV. It is NOT just "Oh, you take a pill and it isn't an issue." It's constant expensive drugs, not being able to drink or party because the drugs won't work if you do and you'll get sicker, and frequent nausea and other side effects, plus the stigma of being infected. It's easy to say "it will never happen to me." But it's BS. I have yet to meet a single person with HIV who doesn't wish they could have done things differently. Sorry to come on so strongly, but because people of your generation haven't seen the horrible deaths and wasting from HIV, and because people with HIV today generally don't talk much about how badly it's affected them, a very wrong message has gotten out to youth... and HIV infection rates among youth are on the rise again. So... please be careful, and as Lex says, always use a condom so you don't have to worry. It simply isn't worth putting your life in another person's hands, even if you're convinced it's your "partner for life."
>>>...the excuses would fill a phone book. For those younger than us, this is a phone book. Let's say the excuses could fill a flash drive. Lex
Any tips you could share on using correctly so as to achieve the same feeling (pointers for pointers, lol)?
IF I ever got Infected then I will get a Gun with one bullet and shot myself and have my body burned to destroy the infection.
^easier said than done. You can't speak like that until you have it happen to you. How selfish would you be? Giving up on everyone that loves you like that just because you don't want to take responsability of your own actions.
>>>Any tips you could share on using correctly so as to achieve the same feeling (pointers for pointers, lol)? Sure thing. * Get yourself some condoms and some lube. Put them somewhere handy (but safe if you're still with your parents). Next time you want to masturbate, do so with the condom. * Prepare your area. This may be messy since you've never done it this way before. You might try laying a towel or old T-shirt down, and sitting/lying down on that. Get undressed, and get situated. You might want to grab a plastic bag to put the condom in after you're done, as well. * Rip the condom package open - not with your teeth! They have an easy-to-open notch on them. * Before putting the condom on, put some lube on your penis. You especially want to put some on the underside "seam", a bit behind the head. (I personally find it best to NOT put much (or any) on the head, as it makes it somewhat harder to get the condom on.) It's hard to say how much to put on, but I'd suggest erring on the side of "too much". If it ends up being too sloppy or too floppy this time, use a bit less next time. * Wipe your hands dry of lube, and get the condom on. Note that there's a "correct" way to roll it on. If you were putting the red one on the left on, for instance, your penis should be entering it from the right...after which point, you'd roll it down. There's technically nothing wrong with rolling it on the other way, other than it can be a real bitch to unroll that way. Do leave a bit of room in the condom at the top for your semen. * Once you have it rolled on, start masturbating as you normally do. Your hand shouldn't just be moving up and down a rigid latex-sheathed penis. (Unless it ends up you really like it like that.) It'll be more like you're thrusting into a piece of latex held by your hand, if that makes any sense. The condom should basically be moving up and down the length of your penis. * Note that you might find your standard masturbation technique isn't precisely ideal once you have a condom on. You might want to do it harder, slower, faster, slower, whatever. That's totally cool - do whatever feels good. As an added bonus, you don't have to worry about where to aim the damn thing when orgasm hits. * Once your orgasm has hit, and the afterglow has faded, practice taking the condom off. By squeezing a bit as you pull the last bit off, you can usually do so without trailing lube and semen anywhere. Just like all things, practice is key. It may take a few times to figure out how much lube you want, and how it feels best for you. And it may also end up that when you finally do have sex with a guy, you'll want to change it up again (increase the lube, decrease the lube, whatever). All of this is totally cool. Since all these things involve masturbating or having sex with a guy to figure out, I doubt you'll have issues with it. Lex
I'm old enough to have been sexually active before the AIDS epidemic. In the old days, my friends got hepatitis, gonorrhea, syphilis and all sorts of things. It just seemed part of the deal. Then the recommendation to use condoms came out and it was one of those, "Why weren't we doing this the whole time?" things. That was almost 20 years ago now. And like Lex, I've been in a relationship for over a decade and I practice what I preach on the issue of safer sex practices. And when I hear people talking about how much hotter sex is without a condom or how much better it feels bareback, I think to myself, "You not must have been doing it right".
That is a horrible thing to say. Just because someone has HIV (whether they contracted it through their own actions or not) they should kill themselves and have their body burned? I know you were speaking for yourself, but still, what a horrible thing to say.
