The summer before freshman year I weighed 82 lbs. I ate very little and exercised like it was my job. My body fat percentage was 11% after a couple months of recovery. Today I weigh 120 but I can't stop. I'm scared that I won't be able to control my bingeing and resort back to hardly eating. I can't stop eating and I've gotten so lazy. Sometimes I eat so much I feel sick or I stay in my room and do nothing all day. Just sit and eat. It's not at the point where I am unhealthy overweight but if I can't control this it won't take very long. I don't even remember what it's like to feel hungary or know when to stop eating. I'm fairly active and I eat very very very healthy foods but just way to much. I just need some new ideas about how to help myself because I can't live like this. Half of my waking time is spent focusing on food and how much I hate that I can't stop. And it's thoughts like this that are going to lead me back to not eating. Please help.
The question really is whether this is about the food or whether it's depression is the cause and food is just the symptom?
I never really thought about it that way... It makes a lot of sense though. I never thought I would be someone with depression but lately I've been wondering it and one of my close friends (who has a severely depressed younger sister) actually told me she thought I had depression after a big conversation. It makes sense but I don't know what I would do now. I don't think I am severely depressed (as in needing meds or anything) if anything I think the stress of figuring out my sexuality has triggered it. I don't know, should I see a doctor??
Yes, you need to see a doctor. I had issues with eating and control when I was younger as well... triggered by my sexuality and other issues. Please seek help and maybe get into counseling to help you work through your issues. It will make a world of difference. And be kind to yourself. (*hug*) PM or message me anytime.
It would be a good idea to either seek help from on-campus counseling services or from your family doctor. It's very difficult to self-assess depression- it really takes an objective opinion to help you put together the pieces that sometimes don't seem related to each other. But just based upon your description of a change in your weight, your feelings of being out of control, the changes in your activity level along with the risk factors, you are someone who is at high risk for depression.
