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Self Esteem

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by RAJ Aladdin, Aug 23, 2010.

  1. RAJ Aladdin

    RAJ Aladdin Guest

    In all honesty, I was going to make this thread anonymously but I decided I should just rip the bandage...it's one step in boosting my self confidence if I don't make it secret- so;

    I am having the absolute WORSE self esteem issues I have EVER had in my life! It eats at me CONSTANTLY! I can't pass a guy without thinking "Oh, I bet he's adored by everyone" or "Oh, wow, he's so cute...cuter than me...I'm nothing". It has escalated to a level that it's become obsessive. I love who I am personally, I know I'm smart, funny, and so on, but I feel like I'm so "meh" or inadequate on the outside. I know it's what's inside that counts but outsides matter to us as well and there is no denying it. How can I rid myself of this plague within my head?

    What can I do to boost my self esteem, rid me of my self consciousness or self image, raise my confidence. What do you do? What should I do?

    It's like I hate my self physically.

    Help.
    :help:
     
  2. Z3ni

    Z3ni Guest

    Lol I need the advice too
     
  3. Jiggles

    Jiggles Guest

    I will be watching this thread with deep interest!
     
  4. malachite

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    I used to be in the same boat, now I'm not sure how old you are, but if your in your teens EVERYONE feels that way, just most good at hiding it. Message me later if you feel like you need to talk some I got a lot of XP in this deparment
     
  5. KaraBulut

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    It's always been interesting to me when I hear people tie their self-esteem to whether there are other people around them that are smarter, cuter or in some way "better" than they are.

    The truth is that there will always be someone smarter, cuter or in some way better than you. It's also true that there will be others who are not as smart, not as cute or in no way better than you.

    Most people are just as insecure as you. You don't do anyone any favors when you're constantly comparing yourself to everyone else.

    It's not a competition. The goal is always to be the best you can be at anything you want to do. And as a secondary objective, to help others be the best that they can be too.
     
  6. starfish

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    One thing to keep in mind is that we are our own worst critics.

    We usually rate ourselves a couple of points lower than others would. So keep that in mind. You are a lot better than you think you are.

    I forget this quite often myself.
     
  7. VentinIntrovert

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    I dunno about you, but there are lots of people who prefer guys that aren't as cute, perfect, smart, or out going. I as myself ain't any of that. However for guys that I like, I prefer to like them for who they are and that they are similar to me. Sure a cute guy would be a perfect boyfriend, but I don't think those would last. To sum it all up, it doesn't matter what you really are, but rather who you are. You're probably perfect for someone's whose interested. :slight_smile:
     
  8. GoinStag

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    I have unbelievably low self esteem. I don't have a mirror in my room and I usually don't like to look at my reflection anywhere I go. What I think might be a good way to help that is to try and improve the things that you are self-conscious about. For example: feel self-conscious about your weight? Try to lose weight. I know it's not easy. I am still literally at the point were I hate myself, but trying to improve myself seems like the logical thing to do.
     
  9. Swamp56

    Swamp56 Guest

    A good way to combat self-esteem problems is to fight negative thoughts about yourself. Challenge them and try to replace them with better ones. By doing this, people can alter the way they think about themselves and thus improve their self-image.
     
  10. Z3ni

    Z3ni Guest

    If only that was easier done than said
     
  11. Root

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    It's hard, but that's primarily how I did it. Every time I looked in the mirror, I would replace the intrusive negative thought with something positive.

    Whenever I felt like a useless person, I would actively combat the thought and challenge it.

    I hated myself, my looks, everything. Now I am more confident than ever, and am able to take on jobs and say "I can do it", whether people believe me or not. And I do :slight_smile:

    Another part, was learning to take compliments to heart, whilst discarding negative comments from ass-holes that don't even know me properly.
     
  12. KaraBulut

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    One of life's most valuable lessons is that you can't choose what happens to you in life. But you can choose how you respond to the things that happen.

    And the same is true of your self-image. You can spend your life focusing on all the things that you are not and all the ways that you're not perfect. Or you can find the things that you like and work on the things that you don't.
     
  13. mischa91

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    I've had really bad self-esteem issues and low confidence since i can remember; my twin brother is so much smarter than me and my whole life has felt like a competition with him.

    Recently he told me that he's never been confident like he seems, he fakes it... he acts confident and totally gets away with it. So i tried it, at work and with new people i've met. Strangely it kind of works. Pretending to be confident has actually made me a little more confident, a little less likely to say to myself "you can't talk to that person, they're way better than you" and more likely to just say hi to someone even though on the inside i'm still feeling nervous and not too confident.

    Something that really boosted my self esteem in the past few weeks was hearing from a friend that an incredibly cute guy i just met thought i was hot. From this one compliment i've tried to see the positive things about myself more and try to forget the things that usually make me cringe when i look in the mirror.
     
  14. Z3ni

    Z3ni Guest


    YEahI tried that but.. Like everyone knows not all mirrors are the same. Like at work I did the positive thing, it worked, then I got home and, I looked like crap.
     
  15. Swamp56

    Swamp56 Guest

    That's what sucks about it; it's hard to change your pattern of thinking. This type of modification is the basis of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, which is one of the more widely used types of therapy.
     
  16. Root

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    I have a friend, who is insanely charismatic. He shares a similar view - "CONfidence... it's in the word. Fake it, till you make it."
     
  17. KaraBulut

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    Is there anyone who doesn't look like crap on some days?

    It's fine to do that... as long as you have days where you feel good.

    Maybe the answer for you is to focus on having more good days and to give yourself a break?