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why do so many couples bareback?

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by GoinStag, Sep 9, 2010.

  1. GoinStag

    In Loving Memory

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    Everyone jerks off and watches porn.

    But I notice a lot of the amateur shit on line is bareback. A LOT. Why? Why do so many couples fuck bareback? This is a 100% serious question.

    Not all couples last forever. "Cooties" do.

    I just don't get it. Sorry if I offended some people.
     
  2. Bario

    Bario Guest

    Well, you will find that most, if not all pornography, involves no couples whatsoever. They fuck who they are told to fuck. And bareback, it would seem, is a rather popular kind of porn. Dont know why, seeing a condom never turned me off my material.
     
  3. GoinStag

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    No, I mean on amateur shit. Like on Tube Sites lol.
     
  4. Bario

    Bario Guest

    As do I. I'm not an expert, but to me, porn seems this strange, fantasy world, where whatever happens, would not happen very often out of porn. Real people dont have 12 inch dicks, real people dont look like that, real people use condoms. It's a bit like a story book. Yes, its a nice little story, pretty to look at, fun to enjoy, but I challenge you to find a rabbit wearing a cardigan, whos name is Peter.
     
  5. x2x2x2x2y2

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    I gotta admit, I kinda find bareback sex vids hotter then with condoms. As for why they do it, well idk. Maybe they trust eachother or maybe some people just don't care 'bout stds.
     
  6. Pseudojim

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    condoms are a huge turn off for me. I recognise their safety aspect, and use them unless i and my partner have both been recently tested and trust each other, but sex is SOOO much better without. I can't even achieve climax wearing one of those things.

    i also don't like porn with condoms. just not hot at all. For me, if it's going to be hot, there are fluids being exchanged.
     
  7. Filip

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    I guess that this is going to be one of those questions that, if posed to 12 people, would give you 13 answers. Because sex just seems to be something everyone does different for different reasons.

    Some of the reasons I can think of:

    - Even if the relationship might not last forever, some people do genuinely trust each other not to fool around with others, got tested, and decided that they were safe and responsible enough. That's the ideal case, but I'm not sure if that's so in a lot of these tube porn movies.

    - There can be a big pressure to do bareback even without safeguards in place. Because people in love don't think straight, and are easily swayed by arguments like: "let's show our comitment by not wearing condoms" or even "if you would really trust me, you wouldn't insist on these silly safety measures"

    - Some people just don't think at all. In a hormone-induced stupour, they decide that having sex would be totally hot, and if there aren't any condoms to be found nearby, too bad!

    -Some people know that both they and their partner already have HIV, and decide it's too late for condoms. A truly horrible mistake, by the way, as combining different virus strains (and who knows what other diseases besides) can lead to even worse outcomes.

    - And, of course, bareback sex sells. Even if it looks amateur, it might have actually been produced to look that way.

    As for exactly why people like watching it, I gues it somehow seems more "real" to a lot of people. I don't entirely see how it is any more or less real than condomed sex, but what turns people on isn't exactly a rational process...
     
  8. KaraBulut

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    The reason you're seeing more bareback in porn is that the economy is bad and a lot of desperate porn studios are trying to do something edgy to sell more stuff. The danger of course is that 1) they don't mention whether they've tested the models in advance and it makes people who are watching think that barebacking is alright and 2) once one studio goes there, then the other studios follow and then...what's the next fad that they all try to sell more stuff?

    As for the reasons that couples bareback:
    • People confuse barebacking with commitment.
    • People are lazy.
    • The porn industry has sold bareback as hot and something exotic.
    • After being together for a while, people are willing to accept a certain amount of risk.

    In a logical world, if a couple have both tested HIV negative, then logic would say that they would be able to not use condoms if they've agreed to a monogamous relationship.

    But this isn't a logical world- people cheat on their partners all the time, HIV isn't the only thing that can be transmitted via unprotected sex. Everyone thinks it won't happen to them...
     
  9. Chip

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    It is appalling to me that the gay adult industry has moved so much to bareback over the past 5 years. But this is purely a function of demand; apparently, a bareback DVD outsells an equivalent safer sex DVD by 5 or 10 to 1.

    When I see people barebacking, all I think about is the risk of transmission of disease. I see nothing sexy or hot at all, I just see people putting themselves at risk.

    And there are people -- a LOT of them, apparently -- who won't buy a title that isn't bareback, no matter how hot the models or action or whatever.

    WTF is wrong with people that a tiny, nearly invisible sheath of latex so grosses them out that they can't watch the video? To me, it's just self-centered and self-indulgent.
     
  10. Pseudojim

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    I can't help but consider this paragraph derisive toward a particular demographic. It's not a matter of "can't"...
     
    #10 Pseudojim, Sep 11, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2010
  11. GoinStag

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    I thought if two H.I.V. Negative people didn't use a condom, there was still a high chance of catching something. Isn't that the case????????
     
  12. Pseudojim

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    yes, there are far more infectious diseases transmissible through sex than just HIV. Syphilis, gonorrhoea, herpes are just a few.
     
  13. Chip

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    It is, to a certain extent. But I can't help but be angry about it. Tens of thousands of people died in the height of the AIDS crisis. The gay adult industry responded and switched to condoms because they realized they were sending a terrible message, and because they were putting their models at risk.

    And then, in the mid-90s, a few greedy, self-centered producers started producing bareback again. They didn't give a fuck about safety, about sending an unhealthy message, or about all that had been lost. And the bareback content outsold the safer content. So more producers jumped on the bandwagon, putting profits before safety and before the needs of the community.

    This, in turn, sent a message to teens watching the bareback porn on the web and on tube sites and such... that barebacking is "hot", that it's the "cool" thing to do, that safety isn't necesssary, or that if you "really love your boyfriend," you won't use condoms. All a bunch of shit, but nonetheless, that's the message that these teens get.

    And guess what? HIV levels among people under 25 are on the rise again. While no specific studies have been done that I'm aware of that directly look at the correlation between watching bareback porn and acting out, there are voluminous studies showing that other activities portrayed in media (smoking, for example) directly impact the incidence of that activity in society, particularly among teens, so it's very reasonable to assume that the correlation between the rise of bareback porn is causative to the incidence of barebacking in the gay community among younger people and, correspondingly, to the increase in the HIV infection rates among teens and young adults.

    I get passionate about it because it's just completely unnecessary and yet people don't seem to get that.
     
  14. Zach1992

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    You're watching porn to get you off. No one else. If you don't like condoms, then watch the bareback.

    Watching any porn is self centered & self indulgent.
     
  15. Lexington

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    Actually, I think Jim and Chip are both right. Sorta.

    Let's move off porn for a minute. Think about sex scenes you might have seen in standard Hollywood features. How many can you recall taking place between married couples? Or couples in a long-term relationship? The very few I can think of were deliberately staged to prove a point. Either the sex is perfunctory ("the spark's gone out") or the guy gets his rocks off and leaves the woman hanging ("he's selfish"). And in both cases, we're treated to a second sex scene later in the film where one of the participants hooks up with somebody new...and of course, this time, the sex is mind-blowing. Thus the movie sex rule - "if you see two people having sex in a movie, there's a 99.9% chance that it's their first time doing it together."

    Now compare that to reality. Over the course of their lifetimes, the vast majority of people have sex with somebody more than once. MUCH more than once. And almost invariably, it's because we WANT to, not out of some sense of "duty". But if movies are indication, the first time is hot, and then it's all downhill from there.

    Stepping back into the realm of porn - and yes, amateur sites are still porn. Porn really isn't concerned with any emotions other than the carnal ones. And every step you take away from "a sexual encounter between a loving couple", the more removed you get from things like "love" and "caring". It's not about "taking precautions". It's about throwing caution to the wind. It's first-time meet-ups. It's ripping each other's clothes off. It's doing it outside or in the car because you can't wait to get a hotel room. It's treating the other person like a piece of meat because the sexual desire is too strong to keep down. And yes, it's not using condoms.

    And every single thing I've listed above would probably be labeled "hot" by a good chunk of people. "Wow, he ripped that guy's underwear right off his body! That was so hot!"

    Here's where we're running into our main issue. Pretty much everything "hot" can be faked. We might be told that these two guys are having a random hook-up, but for all we know, they've known each other for years. We might be led to believe that the guy didn't know he was gonna get pounded like a sledgehammer, but for all we know, they practiced the scene several times beforehand. And we might seem them going at it like animals in the car or the backyard, but for all we know, they're on a closed movie set with no chance of getting in trouble for it.

    Then there's condoms. How do you fake not wearing a condom? And there's the problem - you can't. You might try to hide it with clever camera angles, but since most porn involves close-ups of the dick entering the ass, good luck getting people to believe it. And so they bareback. Because people have demanded it - with their wallets and with their voices. Why? Because they like the illusion. The like the fantasy that these two grabbed each other and fucked each other senseless with wild abandon, damn the consequences. And, in porn, there ARE no consequences. After orgasm, the clip ends. They don't have to deal with what to tell their partners, or how to go back to work with ripped clothes, or with the onlookers who gathered around to see them go at it. And they certainly don't have to deal with any potential diseases changing hands. Because by that point, we've moved on. It's all action without consequence. Showing them putting a condom on immediately signals "real world calling". The fantasy is punctured.

    But here's where Chip's comments come into play. The people on screen aren't make-believe. They're actual human beings. And because of that, there IS a real risk that a disease can be contracted doing this. To which most porn consumers shrug and say "They know the risks." Which yeah, they do. But given that you'll get much more work and much more pay for barebacking, in a field where most actors are hoping to make rent rather than buy their next sports car, it's not surprising that most feel they have no choice in the matter. And it's my belief that the amateur sites simply mirror the porn they've seen.

    I should point out that I actually like porn with condoms. Not because I've got a "safe" or latex fetish or anything. But I've actually seen plenty of bareback, and it's no longer different enough to have any "hot" factor for me. I actually prefer a dose of reality in my porn. I like seeing the bottom getting prepped, rather than having him magically ready (and presumably lubed up) to take a ten-incher. I don't find robotic chants of "yeah, do it, yeah, do me" to be hot. I much prefer hearing them moan, sigh, and even occasionally say "oof, not so hard". And I prefer to see the top take the time to get the condom on. Because, oddly, that's how *I* get into the fantasy. When I see everything just so, following the script (real or imagined), I stop seeing a hot sex scene, and I start seeing two actors (or amateurs) doing their thing. But if there's prepping, and slight problems, and condoms, I feel like I'm watching two guys fuck each other who really want to fuck each other. And that's why I'm watching in the first place. :slight_smile:

    >>>sex is SOOO much better without. I can't even achieve climax wearing one of those things.

    And as a counterpoint, I'll say it isn't better without. I've done both. When prepped correctly, I never have any trouble reaching orgasm while wearing one. I don't consider condoms a "necessary evil" - in fact, given my choice, I'd rather wear one, even if I'm positive we're both disease-free.

    Lex
     
  16. Revan

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    Yes and that means that you're so not self-centered and self-indulgent. Please. Telling me you don't watch porn, which to me is what you're saying here, is a laugh riot. And saying that just makes you look like an ass. Just saying.

    To me I use to bareback with my boyfriends but they also lasted such a short time they didn't really get a chance to cheat. I'm still negative for everything right now but I also don't bareback with boyfriends anymore because I feel that with my relationships lasting such a short time it's no different really than doing it with a one night stand or a hook up or f**k buddy.

    I don't know if I'll ever BB with a boyfriend or even husband because of what's happening in both straight and gay worlds.

    As for porn, to me its just hot...but it's not where I got the idea of bbing.
     
  17. LostandFound

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    For me, if someone asks me to bareback it's a deal-breaker straight away. In my mind it shows the person is more concerned about their own pleasure than my safety.
     
  18. GoinStag

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    Wow, that's a good point. I never even thought about it that way.
     
  19. Pseudojim

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    Maybe for you.

    I'm incapable of it. And i have tried. It comes down to the fact that my arousal is crippled if there is no possibility of either semen entering me, or mine entering someone else (be it orally, anally or vaginally). It's unfortunate many would say, I don't know why that's my 'kink' (if you want to call it that), but it is. I love the stuff. My sexual fantasies are all based around it.

    The conceptual issues, coupled with the dulled sensations, make for a much less fun sexytime. I still do it, almost exclusively in fact, i am no fool. And i still enjoy it, but there's no getting around the fact that it's about a tenth as good as unprotected sex.
     
  20. Lexington

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    "Kink" is what I'll call it. Mainly because I do think you're in the great minority there. And I think it's important in your case to make that very clear. You obviously know the risks, and you're wise enough to put your health and your partners' health in front of your kink (something many people wouldn't do). But for most guys, condoms are at most a minor hassle, and with some practice, they don't even have to be that. My concern is what others might pick up if you get too glib with your kink, specifically here on the boards. I worry what effect standalone statements like "I think barebacking is hot" and "I can't feel anything with a condom" might have. Perhaps I don't give "the kids" enough credit, but I do get concerned that they'll forgo the condoms because they heard it's hotter without one. Especially since, in my experience, it doesn't have to be. :slight_smile:

    Lex