Out to your doctor?

I'm not, but that's just because it hasn't been of any importance to any visits.

 

As soon as my doctor found out I was gay, which was by pure chance because I had a bracelet on that said "Where do YOU-th fit?" which had nothing to do with LGBT whatsoever, she asked so I said yes. As soon as that happened, she wrote me a test order sheet for HIV.

 

I've been asked this question and my answer is always, "I don't care who you do, only what you do."

If you are a female and you tell me that you have unprotected sex with your boyfriend, I'm going to suggest an STD screen and I'm going to talk to you about birth control and condoms, HIV/HPV and ask you whether you've had a recent Pap smear.

If you are a male and you tell me that you have unprotected sex with your boyfriend, I'm going to talk to you about safe sex, strongly suggest that you use condoms and suggest you have an STD screen.

Too often, practitioners assume certain behaviors based upon labels. Not all gay men have anal sex. A surprising number of straight women have anal sex. HPV and herpes are big problems for college age people regardless of their sexual orientation. And there's a disproportionate number of minority women who are contracting HIV and go undiagnosed until they are tested when they are pregnant.

We also tend to focus too much on HIV- I've had more positive STD tests from straight females than from gay males- and often they've had it for a while and no one ever suggested that they get tested.

 

Mine does, mainly because he asked if I was planning on driving myself home (I think he was going to dilate my pupils or something), and I said "No, my partner's here - he'll drive."

Lex

 

Just my opinion, but I'm surprised that your doctor hasn't brought it up in the course of their history and physical examination. Discussing a patient's sexuality and their sexual practices (including who they partner with and whether or not they're experiencing domestic violence) is a routine part of a H&P done by primary care providers (or at least it should be- because that's what they were taught in school). I do, however, know that some providers are uncomfortable with the subject themselves and only bring it up if they have to. If your primary care provider seems quite uncomfortable with sexual health, I'd switch providers if possible- because bringing up the subject of sexual health could one day save your life (in terms of counseling on safe sex, HIV testing, anal pap smears, etc). Bottom line: your sexual health SHOULD be of importance to your provider when you visit- especially if you visit for a routine physical exam or a health problem that might be related to sexual health. I mean, if you visit for a minor problem that's obviously non-sexual, then that might be the exception; however, I don't think there's any excuse for providers not bringing up the subject at all.

As a side note, I'm out to my primary care physician. I wasn't at all out to physicians in the past, but that was because I wasn't out to anyone (not even myself) before I came out a few years ago.

---------- Post added 28th Sep 2010 at 08:40 PM ----------

Thanks Kara- that really opened my eyes. I definitely learned something

 

I have several doctors, and one of them knows because she's the one I've spoken to about girl issues - when she brought up contraception, I mentioned that I was gay. The first thing she asked was if I'd had any problems from my family or from people at school.

 

Alas, no. I just rarely ever have an opportunity to bring it up and I still am a little nervy about just mentioning it out of the blue. A serious number of the doctors I visit have a lot of bible-y things in various places in their offices and it makes me a little jumpy.

I get asked if I'm sexually active and all I can say is an honest, "No." If I were active with a lady, I'd mention it, though.

I even have it planned! "Is there any chance you're pregnant?" "Not unless my girlfriend's learned some new tricks, no."

 

I'm not. In fact, I don't think my doctor ever touched upon sex in any conversation we had.

I would tell if it was relevant, but so far there isn't exactly any reason to. So I'd never just say it out of the blue.

That doesn't mean I'd advise anyone to keep it in as long as possible, though. If it is remotely relevant, if you want information or if you're asked, It can only help in giving the right advice or diagnosis.

 

I find it completely irrelevant, They don't need to now what way you swing, just that you want some tests done, that way everybody is happy.

 

I think this is a BIT discriminatory because how would she know you've had sex yet?

And yes I'm out, I had to tell him because I needed to ask for an HIV test...just because I was worried at the time (turns out nothing to be worried about but still glad that I asked.)

 

I dont have a doctor right now. havent for a while thanks to problems getting healthcare. I think I am suposed to wait till 2014 before insurance companies cant say "your dad is a diabetic, so we refuse to cover you."

I would be open though about my sexuality. Not that I am sexually active, or anything, but proactive is better then reactionary.

 

I'm not,as I have not yet had a need of doing so,the importance of my treatments was minimal.

 

Well, do also consider the crowd you're asking. It's a forum for people trying to deal with coming out. Which means that for most posters, coming out just isn't something you quickly do.

Also, if you're not really doing any "gay" things, it's easy to rationalise not telling. Speaking for myself, I know 4 gay people in real life. With none of them have I ever done more than shook hands. It's pretty much impossible to have contracted ay "gay" diseases. So it has, so far, always seemed pretty irrelevant, since my lifestyle is monastic, rather than gay.

Again, that's rationalisation. And this thread did get me thinking that I'm not really planning to inform my doctor the moment I have a boyfriend either, so yeah, it is probably better to be proactive than reactive. I'll definitely think about it when next visiting my doctor.

On a lighter note, I can't help but think of the following clip when reading this thread

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hfZqbZtT6E[/YOUTUBE]

 

I told my doctor.But it was more because at the time I was having some
anxiety symptoms. I was struggling with coming out and my sexuality. He asked me if there was somthing I was worrying about lately. So I told him.

 

also remeber, doctor/patient condifentiality. a doctor cannot discuss anything said in the confidence of his office with anyone.

 

At my recent physical, my doctor gave me a prostate exam. Well, during it I said, “Don’t stop. A little to the left. Oh, that’s great.” - You don’t think she figured out I was gay by that, do you?

In all seriousness, we all should be open with our doctors about everything. That is the only way they can fully help us. If we are not comfortable talking about things with our doctor, we should find one who we are comfortable with. And Emberstone is absolutely correct – doctors cannot tell anyone what we say to them.

 

I told the last doctor I saw that I was gay. She seemed a little indifferent but I had already told her that I was seeing a gay affirmative counsellor so she probably wondered why I bothered making an appointment with the practice.