This has been going on for a while. I try to be a tolerant person, I really do. I try to live with a "Smiles make everything better" attitude. Even when faced with anti-gay people, I try my best to be calm, collected, and give the facts. But...I read all these news stories, and I read all the comments people put, and it just (and I hate using caps lock, but this is for emphasis) PISSES ME THE HELL OFF! These people don't have degrees in psychology! Nor psychiatry! Hell, they don't even have PHILOSOPHY majors, and they STILL think they can go against what EVERY MAJOR PSYCHOLOGY/PSYCHIATRY ORGANIZATION has said about homosexuality, saying that "it's a choice" and can be "changed" or that it's a "disorder." It PISSES ME THE HELL OFF when people use religion of all things to back themselves up. I don't believe in God for many reasons that are simply personal. But religion itself is a different matter. I have religious friends (I'm from KY, it'd be impossible to not have religious friends), and I love them all 'cause they're not like the homophobes. But regardless, I still feel this overwhelming sense of RAGE when people spout religious bullshit as an excuse to promote bigotry! One day I'll be all, "Oh, religion's okay when taken in moderation..." and then I'll see a news story about NOM or something and I'll instantly revert to HATING RELIGION ENTIRELY. I can tell the anger is probably going to affect my health and well-being, and this isn't the first time. My therapist once recommended that I stop going to news sites altogether, get rid of the source. But another thing I hate is being ignorant! I want to know when my rights are being threatened! I want to know when a hate crime has occurred! To take that information away from me would make me feel in the dark and clueless of the current going-ons. So yeah. Rant over. Advice tiem naoz?
(*hug*) Becoming ignorant is not the solution, I agree. I really don't have advice as I'm quite mellow and never really get angry. But I suppose a few things helped me. First by making sure that people who thought or acted like that did not have a place in my life, and second by simply feeling superior to the idiots. I really recommend the second one
The problem I have with the second one is that I already do. <.< But then I feel like I have to prove them wrong because of this, leading to very anger-induced-hastily written comments. Then they respond with more stupidity and the anger returns.
Well for one don't read the comments on news site, because those places are a troll fest. Even what the media prints you have to take with a grain of salt. They are in business to make money and bad news draws people attention. Yeah you hear about a handful of gay bashing every year, but they never print with nothing happens. For example, you'll see. Gay guy walks into a straight bar and is beaten up. You'll never see Gay guy walks into a straight bar, and every one is cool with it. That doesn't mean the latter never happened, it just means it is not news worthy. Also sometimes we just have to walk away. There is very little can control in this world. In fact the only thing we can truly control is our response. If you find your getting angry you are losing control. If you find you can't step back and cool down, then it is time to just walk away. Getting angry at someone is like throwing a hot coal. You're the one that gets burned.
The logical answer is not to read the comments from strangers whose opinions don't matter. There's a lot of pitiful people who seem to have lots of available time and lots of uninformed opinions. But their comments probably aren't worth the time it takes to read them. Be angry. There does need to be more anger about these things. The problem is that you're not doing anything with your anger. Put your anger to work. Get politically active. Join organizations like the Matthew Shepard Foundation and the Trevor Project. Volunteer for organizations in your state and community that are trying to do something about the issues that you care about. Don't just get pissed off. Get pissed off and do something to change things.
It is not the fact that you cant choose your sexual orientation that angers me in issues like this. It is the fact that why, given the choice, can I not be allowed to choose one way or the other? Is it so bad to choose to be homosexual given the choice? Being homosexual doesn't hurt anyone. It is human nature to jump into bandwagons, probably an evolutionary trait that is common to all social animals. Smart people are conscious about this and avoid it. So my conclusion is that most of these people who make these comments are uneducated middle class citizens who can afford to buy a computer and internet service. Don't be angry at them.
Well, Nick I too suffer from anger management. I work in anger like an artist would work with paints. I can tell you that give it a smile and crap don’t work, because you’re suppressing your anger. You’re angry because you have a reason to be, and there is nothing wrong with that. A wise man once told me: “It’s easy to be angry, but to focus that anger and learn how to use it is hard, but once you do it’s a powerful tool.” And, he was right. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I don’t laugh if I don’t feel like it, I don’t smile if I don’t feel like it. Sure, people sometimes think you’re a gloom and doom person, but that isn’t true. So the fact that people’s ignorance is making you mad, ISN’T something you SHOULD try to hold back, it should piss you off, and you SHOULD express your anger about it. People may try to tell you: “Shouldn’t let it get you so worked up.” “Getting mad won’t solve anything.” History teaches us that doing nothing solves nothing. As for the health issue, yeah stress can use health problems like high blood pressure, but bottling up anger can cause that too. You need to vent to let some of that pressure out otherwise you’ll explode.
You might want to read the book "The Dark Side of the Light Chasers" which deals a lot with anger that we can't put our finger on, and where it may come from. It's an incredibly insightful book and might help you understand what might be giving rise to your anger.
In my personal opinion Psychology in some way makes a person more liberal(accepting of views that go out of the norm from Society's)... To really understand Psychology it is best to leave your social, religious, biases out the the door. So this people clearly don't have a degree... On another note: uhm, it is their opinion. Just like you have you own, they have theirs. It is best to a least accept/ignore it. Just like how it would be hard to change your opinion, it is the same to change theirs. Even if you don't agree with them, it best to understand them, it is their views this may have come from their upbringing, religion, parents, whatever the case it may be they are still their views. Their views should have no weight upon your shoulders, they don't feed you, don't look after your well being, give you a place where to live, etc. =)
allowing peoples' ignorance get to you is not going to help you or the situation. you could try educating those youre close to or where you are comfortable, and there are many gay-friendly religious organizations. i dont know about in KY though... but if you could find one or any group that understands the truth about homosexualtiy it might be able to calm your anger some
I disagree with this part of what you said. Yes, everyone is allowed their opinion and we must all accept that, but some of those people who hate gays ARE the people who are in charge of hiring us, leasing us apartments, etc. So, yes. Everyone has their own opinion and you don't have to agree with them, but also it shouldn't affect anyone's rights. As for being so angry about the stupidity and ignorance and hate, I get PISSED as well, but I decided I HAVE to do something about it. I not only have a right to stand up for myself and others like me, I have a responsibility to do so. I can, therefore I must. It made me less angry when I realized that my voice can be just as loud as anyone else's, I just have to speak up.
I used to have bigger anger problems than I do now. I read the book "The Four Agreements" and learned a lot about myself while reading it. One of the agreements dealing with this subject is not to take anything personally. Anything others do is completely their own action, based entirely out of their own baggage. In reality those who hate homosexuals and act out against us are simply dealing with their own baggage. It's too bad that this knowledge can't defend us against violence, but it can keep us a little happier, and everyone a little happier. It's unfortunate that most anti-homosexual propaganda is based in religious ignorance. Here's a little bit of ammo in case you should ever end up in a discussion about religion and homosexuality: http://www.soulforce.org/article/homosexuality-bible-gay-christian
This. I have the same problem and sometimes I get really mad at how unfair the world can be. But, like kara said, use your anger and change the world! Yes, super corny, but who else is going to change everything if not us?
