I've recently been diagnosed with Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) and I'm handling it fine. It's my love life that isn't... Men with HPD are generally very promiscuous, and no matter how wrong it is I can't stop. I made out with another guy in front of my boyfriend at a party once. He forgave me (he even said it was really hot) simply because of the fact that HPD causes it, but it still hurts to do so. In my oppinion the best thing to do would be to become a single man for the rest of my life, and everytime I want sex go for a one night stand. But at the same time I crave a relationship. Does anyone else deal with the same issue?
Yeah from first glance it looks like an excuse a bunch of guys came up with to be slutty but it seems legit...
Although you have been diagnosed with HPD, since you know what the symptoms are, if they don't suit the sort of lifestyle you would like to live, ie. a stable relationship I think you need to work with a therapist so that you understand better what is happening to you and why and how to control this behaviour. If you find a partner who knows about your condition he can also help you control it and when you start behaving in an inappropriate manner instead of being hurt and upset he can help you to control it before it gets out of hand. If your boyfriend had come over when you were making out with someone in front of him and said, 'hey what you are doing is really hurting me, I know why you are doing it but please stop' I think you probably would have. Sometimes when we can't stop ourselves a gentle helping hand is all we need. You don't have to use this disorder as an excuse to leap on any and every guy that turns you on disregarding the upset it can cause around you. Having said that you can't hope to control it by yourself, this is where a good therapist and a loving partner come into play. A partner who is turned on by this will only encourage you into unhealthy choices and relationships where you will ultimately feel bad about yourself. This is probably why a high propotion of people suffering from HPD also suffer from depression. I would say, have fun, live your life a bit but I don't think you have to decide now at 15 to remain single all your life and just use, or be used for sexual gratification. Sex for the sake of sex is not much more exciting that masturbation, leaving you with a feeling of empyiness and often a bit sullied. Making love with someone who wants to please and excite you who knows your body better than his own and knows just what turns you on is the best sensation that exists on this earth and leaves you feeling on top of the world filled with an inner contentement and happiness. If you want a loving relationship you can probably have one but you will have to fight your disorder, you have already recognised it, that is the first stage, now you need professional help. Good luck.
Being diagnosed with a disorder does not mean you will have to carry that disorder all your life. One of the major tenets of being able to change such behaviors that come with any disorder is to have the willingness to attempt to change. Being willing establishes a few mental points from which change can come about. One of those points, is you personally want to change what you have. A powerful position to come from. The human being is a dynamic machine in mind, body and spirit, thus is capable of doing something different and reaching higher. Louise is right, being 15 and making the sort of decision you are contemplating is a bit early. Work with your therapist and given time, things will likely change, but be willing to do what is needed to accomplish the change. Good luck.
Oh my gosh! You're only 15, and have come to understand the challenges that you face in life already. I'd say you're well on your way to dealing with them and overcoming them! There's no reason why you can't effectively deal with this and lead an otherwise noramal life- that includes having meaningful relationships. You'd be amazed at the things a person can overcome if they apply themselves! You'll be able to as well!
Yeah, I realize being 15 and making that decision is really ridiculous and dastric, but it gets so frustrating when a guy that you really like can't hold your attention. I honestly thought there was something wrong with me before I was diagnosed because each and every guy before my current boyfriend began to bore me after the 1st week or so. Even now, the great guy I've got now starts to lose my attention on occasion. And I don't want to go to therapy. Everything gets around in a week where I live. I know that the sessions are confidential but everyone finds out eventually. And especially since there's a man here who has a thirst for my dad's blood (figuratively speaking, of course) he'd publish something about a gay scandal. I've read a lot about it and I'm trying to work on it myself. I honestly have had suicidal thoughts but I've just pushed them out of my mind by doing something constructive. But when it's something like saying something that'll get me into trouble but at the same time give me the attention I crave, I hold it in and it feels like something chewing on my insides.
Another thing to remember is that this will probably be a lifelong problem, you are not going to sort it out all on your own in the next few weeks. Give yourself realistic expectiations. Another reason for a guy not holding your attention for long could also be lack of strong emotional attachment. Most adolescents are quite 'fickle' in their emotions at your age, cut yourself some slack. With the intelligence, caring and sensitivity you have shown in your posts you are on the right tracks. You might have to wait until you leave home to get some therapy but you will eventually have to go down that path. No-one, not even the strongest amongst us, can hope to fight a condition like that alone. You wouldn't try to treat a skin condition all by yourself for example, you might go to the pharmacy and get some creams but eventually you would probably have to go and see your doctor and get professional help. You have a medical condition don't fight it on your own, you won't win and you will waste years of fruitless energy. Professionals are there for a reason. It is very thoughtful of you to think of your parents and the reactions of nasty minded people in your town but ultimately we are talking about you and your life. Of course you must take your parents feelings and reactions into consideration but not to the detriment of your mental health. You have a certain responsability towards your parents but that cuts both ways, they must also be sensitive to your needs and consider the consequences of their reactions on your life. Good luck, try and get some support if you can
