Well basically when I'm topping my friend (I know I should wait for a relationship, but we're safe and I trust him with my life) I always lose part of my erection. I'm 8.6 inches long and my friend was like maybe its just cause you are pretty big so it loses some of the blood. And I jsut am trying to figure it out because even though I'm versatile, I'd like ot be able to receive the same pleasure he does when topping...Any ideas that perhaps don't require taking viagra?
Have you considered using a device that is intended to maintain the erection? There are plenty of them out on the market, some of which are being stocked with personal lubricants in the health and beauty areas in local grocers, discount stores, and mass merchants.
It could also be a psychological barrier. Are you perhaps tense about the situation? Do you feel the need to perform to a high, and perhaps unrealistic, expectation? Are you focusing on this issue? Any of these things might play a role in the loss of an erection.
Cockrings will help maintain an erection. You can get simple ones just for the penis, triple ones that go round the penis and the scrotum and even vibrating ones that can be a lot of fun for the giver and the reciever. Take a look in some sex toys brochures there are all sorts of products available. I would'nt go for the creams myself, I can't see how they work at all! As Justjoshoh mentioned maybe there is a psychological barrier. Sex is meant to be fun, relax, have a laugh with your partner. You mentioned that you should be in a relationship, there is maybe a bit of repressed guilt connected to your sex education which is spoiling things for you. If you like this person, if you enjoy his company and you enjoy sex together where is the harm, you have the right to enjoy yourself. It's not like you are out trawling the clubs picking up anything that moves for gratuitous sex. Cut yourself a bit of slack, give yourself the right to enjoy sex for the sake of physical enjoyment and not only as a deep and meaningful expression of love! One more thing, one that many people don't recognise, 90% of sex is in your mind. If you play fantasy roles, get yourself really in the mood through out the day knowing that you will have to wait untill you can be together, and you imagine very exciting scenarios before and during your time together this can all help stimulate you to keep your erection. Having a really exciting image in your mind as you have sex can be extremely stimulating. Good luck
louise youve done it agen! i was gona suggest some of those things, mabe not the cock rings for the psychin urself up for it all day and just enjoying it w/o the guilt, and if u cant stop the feelins of guilt then well you could always ask him out if you think it would stop the guilty feelings, and he would say yes
Louise, I love you! No topic is off limits for you, my dear. I need some advice on my sex life when you have time. <smile>
Ya, um, Louise... "Holy detail, Batman!" :eek: We'll start calling you Dr. Ruth! But I would echo what Louise has suggested too. What I would add is that perhaps you're getting to that 'part' of the action too quickly. The longer the build up to that stage, the more turned on you're likely to be. If you're nervous or anxious about having to 'perform' then you might have a problem. Also try more lube... I'm not sure it's possible to use too much. But absolutely, have a good time. It sounds like it's totally mutual with your friend - so that's awesome! I wish I'd had a friend like that when I was 19!
What can I say, Louise has said it all. Her advise is right on and well researched. Good on ya Louise.
