Nervous

The only advice I can give is communication, communication, communication. I don't know if your boyfriend knows about your past or not, but at least explain your nervousness and how much you really want to be with him.

 

Okay heres my advice...

Don't get fully undressed infront of him to start with... like just a shirt off first then pants and then get naked infront of him... but do it in intervuls like one day at a time.. good luck mark!!(*hug*)

 

Possibly doind something that increases your selfconfidence, such as karate (ive hear that karate is good for self confidence) or such...plus you get heaps fit from it (not saying you arent, but I do)

 

What about not getting fully naked in front of him, but having him undress you as part of the lead-up to the fun? Would that work or would that be even worse for you?

The great thing is that he understands and is OK about it. You have been together for two years and I guess it hasn't been a major problem between you.

I wonder whether you need to get some counselling to help you deal with the abuse so you can begin to put it behind you. If it is something that is in your mind when you are preparing for sex with your boyfriend then maybe it needs some more work to help put it where it belongs - in the past.

(*hug*)

 

I agree with Paul that some counseling might be good for you to finally put this in the past. Also, I think it might help to undress for the first time in a darker room so you feel somewhat protected. He sounds like a wonderful guy and will probably understand fully your need to take things slow. As you become more comfortable together, it will become easier and you will know that he loves you fully and completely in spite of any flaws you might have.

 

Nothing more can I add to what has been said above. All good info and advice. Good luck. I think your willingness to explore this will mean you likely will be able to overcome it.

 

only thing i think i could say about this is take it slow as you need, hes already understanding so he wont mind taking it slow, and you could always just start kissing or somet on the bed or wherever then if youre not comfy getting naked with him then there would be no need, if you are comfy then just go topless and ull be able 2 see the enjoyment on his face from u just being topless wich shud give you more confidence and if he starts feeling you then ull want the clothes off more than he does

 

2 words:

Strip poker.

:lol: Just an idea. I'm not sure if it will work, but it may help you know that he is going to be just as suprised as you when he loses the first hand!

 

I was sexual abused when i was when i was a child, and I did feel nervous too

But from my experience, what you need is self esteem and confidence. Liek mentioned above, do things to make you feel better about yourself, and it's much better if your boyfriend confronting you and making you feel comfortable, be yourself, take things slow, when feel uneasy, just pause or stop

And liek mentioned above, you can get help from councilors or anyone around you

One thing to remember though, that just enjoy your moment, and talk more than action

 

No, just empathy. I'm excited to have sex once I am married and perform sexual activities before then, but I dread taking off my clothes. It's so vulnerable. Something could go wrong and bring back bad memories.