So the guy I'm falling for...now has herpes

condom condom condom, if he hasn't already, he should talk to his doctor about medications that can help prevent outbreaks, or limit their severity and/or the frequency in which they occur.
some things you should know...
even if there are no visible signs of an outbreak, you could still come in contact with the virus, so always use a condom.
it can be passed from the infection site by touching it with a finger, and and then touch that finger to your genital area, anus, or mouth, so make sure to be careful to limit touching durring foreplay too, because unlike most std's its not really based on exchanging fluids

 

in my opinion, yes, a condom should be standard equipment, and its completely up to you, its pretty common as far as std's good, but its also not curable; that said however, with proper precaution and a careful approach there is no reason it should really hurt your relationship.

 

Something to consider...

Herpes gets labeled as an STD only because of where it appears. It is the same virus that about 60-70% of people have antibodies for. The difference is that most people get the strain of HSV that produces sores on their lips or mouth. Somehow when it affects the genitals, we have a very different attitude about it.

If your boyfriend does have HSV2- which is the same virus (HSV1) that affects other parts of the body- then he should consider going on antivirals. This will reduce the chance of transmission of the virus by about 50%. If you use condoms, it will reduce the chances by yet another 50%.

And something else to consider... Somehow the knowledge that someone is a carrier of a virus gives us the false impression that we're safe when we sleep with people whose viral status we don't know. The opposite is true. With viruses like HSV and HPV, there are people who are carriers who have no symptoms. But somehow what we don't know makes us think it's safer.

 

yeah I'm never having sex - lol. Well, maybe I will one day but no rush :lol:

 

I cant even imagine what thats like for you, if my bf told me that he had an std I would just die because I'm in love, but idk if I would be able to stay in a relationship with a person with an std. I really feel bad for people that do too because things happen, but its so freaking scary.

 

Yeah I was into this guy (my first crush after coming out), who told me he had herpes before anything happened between us. Thank god he told me because I dont want to get freaking herpes! He is french and actually the way I found out is because he had a sore and he wasn't doing the normal "kiss kiss" thing that french people do!