Does anyone else have an issue with sex like this? I'm not a naturally horny person... (All THOSE issues aside), this can be very confusing, because I see sex as something quite dirty, or naughty, or fun... If I was to have a boyfriend, I think I would feel kind of dirty and like I was defiling him... I am a sensitive guy - like the parts of relationships that make me feel dizzy with butterflies in my stomach. I don't know how I am supposed to have sex... I don't ever hook up with guys when I go to the gay clubs, and I wouldnt be able to in a relationship... Feel so screwed:bang:
I've never had that issue, but I don't think it's a bad thing. I think it's quite beautiful, actually. I'll leave the advice to others more experienced than I in this realm, I just wanted to give you some encouragement. (*hug*)
I understand your concern, but my main thought is this. A lot of times, we think things will be like this, that and the other when we have a boyfriend...until we have a boyfriend. At that point, it seems a lot of things we thought/assumed/were positive would be one way end up being completely different. In short, I wouldn't worry about it much. Chances are pretty good that once you're actually in a relationship, and once you're actually in bed with him, you'll look forward to defiling him. And if it ends up you aren't, you can certainly go see a therapist about it at that point. Lex
That's all good, Lexington, but what about being able to have fun when I'm single? I'm not able to enjoy it... hmmm... What age does libido usually kick in?
I'll admit it, I use to hook up...but what I found the most difficult was separating sex from emotion. The biggest problem I had was after it was done, letting the guy go. It's kinda like when some people say how important a guy sleeping over is (Sex and the City ). Yeah I just found being a more romantic guy who wants that connection, I hated the idea that I couldn't talk to the guy after sex. Most guys basically would be like "what the f**k are you doing? :S" As for your problem...I dunno what to reall tell you though I hope you can figure it out.
It's not the end of the world if you can't have sex while single. If it feels dirty than it isn't going to be fun, so you're not missing much. And honestly? Sex with a guy (or girl I suppose) you really like is so much better than sex with someone you just met that there's no comparison.
I'm with Liam here: why do you feel you should hook up anyway? There's no law you're breaking by NOT sleeping with people. And if people demand casual sex, then you're perfectly at liberty to say you're not interested. I don't think there's any fixed age when libido kicks in. It's just stronger for some people than it is for others. Some apparently have it so strong that they feel compelled to go out to have sex, even without emotional connection. Others just never have it that strong and thus only end up having sex as one more fun thing to do if you're already in a relationship. Personally, I never have that much of a need for it that I can't get by with just some fantasy on my own, but I don't see why that should be a bad thing. Odds are that if you're with the rigth guy, you'll end up gladly defiling him, or even be surprised when he starts defiling you You'll also have the chance to talk about it beforehand (weeks or months, if yo don't feel ready), so you cen perfectly put each other at ease.
i read this article few days ago, which I thought was pretty good: Love, Sex & Dating: How to Tell Them Apart :: EDGE on the Net
Thanks for the posts, guys (and for the link, JRNY) Nice to see you again, Filip @Filip: I want to feel that I have a libido, because I associate it strongly with masculinity and part of what it means to be a guy... without it I have felt de-humanized in a sense.
