Hi Me and my boyfriend have booked a hotel for 2 weeks time and he demands that we swap positions this time (I usually bottom and I can just use spit and I am fine. We are both tested for HIV and get regularly tested so we bareback ). The only problem is I am around 8 and 3/4 inches and around 4 around ... so he is finding it extremely hard to get a little bit in at most :/ We used some KY lube and other various lubricants but they weren't so good. If anyone could provide any tips or recommendations it would be a big help, Thank you
Couple thoughts: 1. He might want to get a dildo or butt plug and prepare/practice a bit using that. It can take some practice and focus to be able to handle someone large. 2. A surprising amount of successful bottoming is in the mind; in other words, if he's in his mind got the idea that you're large and it's going to be painful, he'll unconsciouly tense up. One thing that can be really helpful is for him to, as you're preparing, just relax... breathe slowly and just imagine himself relaxing and opening up down there. It sounds hokey, but it really does make a difference. Likewise, when you penetrate him, he should take some slow, deep breaths and just envision himself being able to relax and take you. 3. Finally, I'd suggest getting a better quality lube. A silicone-based lubricant might be better than a water-based, and since you aren't using condoms, it's a good choice (Not a good choice with most condoms, as the silicone can degrade the latex.) You may have to go to a sex shop or somewhere other than a drugstore to find a good lube, but I think you'll find it to be quite an improvement over KY.
Completely agree with the advice about it being more psychological. If you spend a bit more time on foreplay it will make it easier for him to relax more and reduce the need for as much lube. I have heard that astroglide is good but I have not used it personally. I know of someone who actually found that talc powder is the best lube for them.... so I guess that it is just a case of trial and error to find whats best for you. One final thing.... don't get the durex cherry flavoured stuff... it is too nice and you will probably end up eating the bottle (as me and some friends did for fun during a particularly boring free period at school in Scotland lol) xx
