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I know I am a "bottom" even though I'm a virgin

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by Mimerio, Nov 29, 2011.

  1. Mimerio

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    Is this normal, or at least should I word it better,

    I know already because I fit the characteristics greatly

    I've never been with another male, never had sex, never kissed, the only physical contact I've had with another gay male was a hug, and not in the romantic way either.
     
  2. Doctor Faustus

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    Are you really that sure? ...Would you be willing to experiment with both 'top' and 'bottom'?

    I wouldn't say there are any conventional characteristics that define 'top' and 'bottom'... at least I wouldn't like to think there are any (I'm still a virgin too!). I would suggest trying both with a partner you trust.
     
  3. Mimerio

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    Good wisdom as always, but I forgot to add I'd feel more comfortable being the bottom, as if I were the top, I worry I may hurt them by accident or do something wrong, I'm a bit of a clumsy person if I do say so myself..
     
  4. Doctor Faustus

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    I'd stress trying out being a top with someone you trust. Emphasise you're sexually inexperienced and that you're not entirely comfortable with it, but want to at least have a go. If the other person naturally gravitates to topping, bottom first before 'graduating' to the top, as it were. Excuse the slightly bad metaphor. xD

    When you top, just be gentle. Try to enjoy the experience, no matter how awkward. Sex is meant to be enjoyable! You can only find out for yourself by just going for it, I guess. If it doesn't work out, don't worry. But at least that way you're more 'informed', so to speak.

    Hope this helps.
     
  5. J Snow

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    Before I ever had sex I knew I would want to be a bottom. I've tried topping and it feels good, but I like the feelings of allowing someone else to penetrate me and be the "feminine" one. Of course I think I might be trans, so that's likely why.
     
  6. crazyhead

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    I thought I was a mostly bottom person before I tried it too. It just appealed more to me. But once I actually tried it, I realized it was a lot more difficult than I thought. I still try. It's just a total pain in the ass. (lol.) So I mostly top just because it's easier. But the idea of bottoming still usually turns me on more than the idea of topping.
     
  7. TheEdend

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    Its totally normal to feel a tendency towards one or the other, yeah, but you really don't have to choose one or the other.

    Keep in mind that most of the time when you talk about someone being a top or a bottom you are dealing with a set stereotype and certain gender roles that come with it. We think of bottoming as the person who is more submissive, more "feminine" and "girly", and we think of topping as the more assertive and "masculine" one. And just like very single stereotype you do not have to try and fit into the mold.

    If you want to bottom, then awesome! But make sure you are doing it because you want to and not because you think is what you are supposed to be or like :slight_smile:
     
  8. Chip

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    I'll echo Gus' thoughts.

    I've known some of the most masculine, butch, burly guys ever who were total bottoms... and some of the most "girly", thin, feminized twinky boys you've ever met who are total tops. So while the stereotypes can sometimes have basis, they are often wrong also.

    That said... I've also known a number of people who were certain they were bottoms before they ever had sex. I've also known people who swore they were tops only... but who, after meeting a good top and having a good bottom experience, turned into total bottoms as well.

    Long and short of it is... do what feels right to you, but experiment if you are so inclined, because you might really surprise yourself about what you can find pleasurable.