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Physical & Sexual Health A forum for peer support and informal advice on matters related to physical and sexual health. This forum is not to be used as a place to obtain a diagnosis on an issue or as a replacement for professional consultations with approved medical practitioners.

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Old 9th Dec 2011, 10:47 AM   #1
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has anyone NOT gotten there?

Well this is embarrassing but I've had plenty of sex (not with a lot of people...I was in a relationship lol) but I've never been able to 'get there' with another person.
I've never climaxed or even gotten close really. It feels good and all but I've never gotten the big O...like ever.

Has this happened to anyone else? Is that normal?!

Sorry if this is in the wrong place
"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially."
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Old 9th Dec 2011, 06:53 PM   #2
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Re: has anyone NOT gotten there?

Well from a male point of view and someone who had the equivalent for a while first it is worth remembering that everyone is different. It may well be the case that it is psychological in which case maybe try to speak with a sexual-psycho counsellor about it as they will 99% of the time be able to help. If you do not manage to climax on your own then it may well be better to see them because the sooner you speak to them the sooner it can be sorted.

If you can manage to on your own then maybe think about what is different between sex and masturbation. If nothing physical comes to mind then it may be purely psychological. If you can think of something physical then work on it. Another thing that helped me a lot was introducing some toys in the bedroom

Good luck with it xx
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Old 10th Dec 2011, 02:58 PM   #3
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Re: has anyone NOT gotten there?

It might be psychological... in that you're not there in the moment, you're thinking about other things and not what turns you on. Sometimes you have to fantasize during the act with whatever turns you on. Or to tell and show the person you're with how you like to be touched and where. Communication is important.

If you're on any certain medications those can affect your ability to enjoy sex as well.
People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Bonnie Jean Wasmund
(and the lesbians)
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Old 10th Dec 2011, 04:24 PM   #4
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Re: has anyone NOT gotten there?

So normal.Maybe you can't get in or stay in the mood easily, maybe your partner not doing right things for you.. who knows, but most importantly you should not make it a mental block for yourself.

There are many women having hard time to achieve orgasm even though they enjoy sex.
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Old 16th Dec 2011, 09:31 AM   #5
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Re: has anyone NOT gotten there?

My best female friend has talked to me about this same thing a bit, so your definitely not alone. Its a new-ish issue for her too, so I cant give her as a shining example of how everyone gets over it or anything, but from my understanding it does happen to lots of girls, and most of them are eventually able to get there. In fact, both genders have problems with sex sometimes (admittedly its a bit different for guys), but seeing as evolutionarily-speaking sex is the most important thing we do, we're pretty well designed to make it work in the end
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Old 16th Dec 2011, 10:04 AM   #6
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Re: has anyone NOT gotten there?

never had the big O... little o's all the time, but no big O...
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