Cut it out of Me!

I wish I could help you...but I can't really if I've never felt the way you do.

Sure I don't know you or anything, but...you're a beautiful person. IF you let yourself be. I'm talking about on the inside because the inner beauty will surface for all to say. I've seen girls who are physically nice looking, but once I got to know them and found it how...ugly they were, it didn't matter how good looking they were.

Frankly, I'm pretty sure that my words did nothing... But you should know that if you tried, you did better than most. Some are too set in their ways to try and change, but yet they always tell a person taht they don't like the way they look. When given advice, they don't listen. But you tried. Be proud of at least that.

 

My friend feels the same way about her body. (she's 55kgs and wants to get down to 35 :dry: i'm 90kgs and would be over the moon if I went down to 80) And no matter how much I tell her otherwise, she won't believe me, so I don't expect you to believe me either when I say that what you see in the mirror is a distorted reflection of your self esteem which is shot to bits by the sounds of it and that we're all here for you. But its all I can say (*hug*)

 

I agree with LdSlnce--if you at least tried, that's already a good sign that you have what it takes to change. It's great that you sound so determined and want to be willing to do what it takes to change! If you can find someone maybe to go to the gym and diet with you, it'd probably be more fun and you can help one another stay on track.

And it's not always good to be skinny--reeeeeeeally skinny people aren't attractive, either. And they also have health problems. It amazes me that so many of the freshman boys coming in to my school still look like fourth graders, they're so skinny and puny! >< I just want to tell them, "Gaah--put on some weight before somebody breaks you!" Sorry, mini rant.

 

I'm going to do some mixing around of your post to group it by relevant themes.

Fuck the judgers. Seriously. From what you've said, your friends don't mind, and they're the ones that matter. Learning not to worry what random people on the street think of you is an important life skill. People are going to judge you for all sorts of things, but you don't have to give a damn unless they're people you care about.

There are, of course, surgical means of reducing weight. For the severely obese these are often the only ways to effect drastic weight loss. My friend's brother who was hugely obese now looks so trim I didn't recognize him as a result of such surgery. However, if you are either self-harming or seriously fantasizing about self-harming, please PM me so I can talk with you about ways of handling that desire. If you are self-harming or fighting the urge to do so, that's a far more pressing concern than your weight.

One day, you will die. This is completely unavoidable. It would be just as true if you were skinny. While it is true that being overweight places you at greater risk for certain causes of death, and this is a legitimate cause for concern, if you are eating healthily and exercising, you drastically lower your risk of dying from weight-related complications. Some people's bodies just naturally hold more weight than others, and those people can still live long and healthy lives.

Yeah, being fat sucks, especially in modern Western society. There's no way around that. And weight loss is really difficult, and even worse, most people will claim that it's easy. But it isn't, not at all, and the heavier you are, the harder it is to lose enough to satisfy the judgers (who, as I've said, you don't have to give a flying fuck about).

It is, however, fully possibly to live a happy and fulfilled life at any weight. According to the Health At Every Size movement it's possible to be healthy at any weight, provided you eat and exercise properly.

 

First off all I wanna tell you that you are fine just the way you are!!!! (*hug*) You gotta stop being so hard on yourself. Who told you this crap about overweight people being disgusting?? Don't think that about yourself. I just looked at your profile and you don't look disgusting at all. You're a handsome young man.
If you are concerned about your health, losing weight will improve your health. You are already on the right path because you are already going to the gym and eating healthy. Losing weight is not easy and it doesn't happen overnight. Everyday you are making choices about healthy/unhealthy food/snacks, it is hard. It takes a lot of effort and determination but you can do it!! Just don't give up. Try to go to the gym about 3 times a week (with a rest day between every workout day) and do at least 60 minutes of cardio everytime you go.Try to push your self everytime you go, so you'll be sweating at the end of your workout. Then finish your workout with some strength training because muscles burn more calories than fat. Try not to focus to much on the scale at first but on more on your clothes. (are they fitting more loose) Try to eat vegetables,pasta and fruit during the workdays and give yourself treats on the weekend. Try to cut off sugar a bit, especially soda.

I hope this helps a bit. I'm kinda on the same boot as you. The eating healthy is going ok with me. Keeping up exercising religiously I find kinda hard. To bad you live on the other side of the world, we could've been workout buddy's. We can still be digital workout buddy's though :icon_wink

 

Losing weight is extremely hard as Liam said I went to a 3 week 5 thousand dollar camp and lost 14 pounds and have gained it all back since when There is not someone constantly motivating you it just seems near impossible but try that's all you can do every day I go to school I'm dying inside with shame over my weight but I tried I did so take whatever comfort from that you can and ignore other people

 

ok, so what are you doing to lose the fat. the vaccuum wish is not reality. you have to burn calories and burn more than you are taking in. this means eating healthy, jump starting your metabolism (eating 5 smaller meals and snacks a day) and exercising daily where you are actually sweating. if you are not doing that, then you are not going to lose weight.

also, as you are trying to improve your outside appearance you have to work on teh inside too. you need to tell yourself "i am attractive, i am worthwhile. i am special" becausae if you do not believe that you can lose all the weight you want and be as "hot" bodied as you want and you will still have a low esteem personality.

do you know how many extremley attractive people with awesome bodies have low self esteem and allow people to use them sexually just so they can feel good about theirselves and that feeling is temporary. do the work inside and outside.

also, you did not gain weight in a matter of days and you will not lose weight in a matter of days. it takes more work to lose it than it did to gain it. give yourself realistic goals and do not go on some crzy fad diet that you will not be able to maintain after you lose the weight.

 

Im fat and i know how you feel. But i know that if you are really trying the it has to be working but you dont see it. trust me ive been through this. I started going to the gym and eating better and even though i didnt notice people would compliment on how i look thinner or stuff like that.. I now have a personal trainer to help me out because i can't do it alone. I say you get one as well. They are big help at the gym. I know you can do it. Its hard but Its possible. But you have to be more positive. Leave the negative behing. If you dont love yourself how can you expect anyone else to love you.

so just try harder. dont give up. its possible!

 

You have to keep trying. Eat healthy, exercise daily will help. It takes time to see results, maybe a month, just depends on the person. You just need to keep trying. One thing I suggest is to write down and keep track of your meals, calorie intake, fat, carbs, etc, and your exercises on a daily basis. This will help you see if you are burning more calories than you are taking in. That is how you loose weight. Seeing it on paper will help you know what and if you need to make changes to your calorie intake and exercise program. Good luck.

 

I really despise the "Health at every size" movement... it gives an excuse to people to be unhealthy. While I would think it is true that you can be overweight and healthy, the vast majority of people who are overweight are probably (through my own speculation) actually not eating healthy and exercising. Of course this is just my opinion/logic. And while it may be fine to be overweight, people should be aware of the consequences and not just "oh, i heard somewhere I can be just as healthy overweight as if I were not overweight."

I'm not sure if the OP wants help with his diet or self esteem?

Anyways, OP, you'll be fine. Don't hurt yourself. You'll be able to lose weight if you put your mind to it. Accept it for what it is. Realize that there is a solution. And solve your problem. You just need patience and perseverance.

You say you try to eat healthy... what does this mean? What is your current diet? You may need to think about what is really important to you... is losing weight worth changing your diet for?