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Embarrassing question

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by Mlpguy88, Dec 18, 2011.

  1. Mlpguy88

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    I've wanted to ask this question since I first joined this site but I've been to embarrassed.

    So here it goes, the thing is I'm 21 and still a virgin, The few sexual things I've done aren't enough to talk about. I've been blaming this on living in denial for so long, plus the fact that I'm a really shy person. But I'm 21, I don't know how to feel about this, part of me says it's okay, but another part of me says I'm a freak. Any thoughts?
     
  2. breakingboxes

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    I think it is just fine. Its not good or bad. It is just you. You are not a freak at all!!
     
  3. alan t

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    Its perfectly ok and normal

    I'm 27 so if you're already calling yourself a freak then...I dont even know
     
  4. insidehappy

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    perfectly normal and fine. you can be 31 or 41 and still a virgin. just because people lose their virginity earlier does not mean that it is wrong or weird for you to still be a virgin. everyone is on their own timetable and so are you. do it when you feel right and when you are in the type of relationship you really want to be in.
     
  5. aerwolfen

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    I think alot of people worry too much in life based on labels and such, I personally didn't lose my virginity until after my 30th birthday,.that was 18 years ago when back then wasn't heard of,but the main point was ,its my body and I wasn't ready.Be yourself ,when the right time comes it will vcome who cares how old you will be then. Its the bond together that really counts.
     
  6. Jessica816

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    I'm 22 and wish that I would've waited, I was 14 when I lost my virginity. One of the biggest regrets I have..Sooo you my friend a perfectly normal and ill admit, I envy you for waiting. :slight_smile:
     
  7. Robert

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    You're gay. And you're closeted. Its to be expected.

    What would you class as losing your virginity anyway? By some peoples standards, I'm still a virgin.
     
  8. KaraBulut

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    It's not an embarassing question.

    There's a time and place for everything. Too many people find themselves having sex the first time "just to get it over with". The sex is often not that great and it's basically a situation where two people end up using each other.

    The question that you need to ask yourself is whether the problem is that you haven't had sex or whether the problem is that you're not getting out there, socializeing, making friends, meeting people, dating, etc.
     
  9. Uniboth

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    I'm 25 and have not had sex...it sucks but meh.

    Considering the life I lead right now, I don't really know when I'll ever be able to understand intimacy. I have no guts and need to be approach before I get a clue. I hope you're not the same because the longer you wait the harder it is to get out. Don't be a wimp like me...
     
  10. silverhalo

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    Its perfectly normal I was a virgin till I was 26.
     
  11. Mlpguy88

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    My biggest problem is that I don't get out there. I don't know what it is, but I have never been able to make friends easily.

    ---------- Post added 24th Dec 2011 at 11:13 AM ----------

    I'm not sure what classifies as losing my virginity, but it has to be more than I have done. The most I have ever done was with a friend of mine in high school, and her and I mostly just used our hands for things. I really wish we hadn't, it ruined our friendship, I haven't seen her in almost three years. She doesn't know that the only reason I did it was to try and make myself straight. I hope she doesn't hate me for it.:bang:
     
  12. Marlowe

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    I'm 22 and my distinguished list of sexual exploits is in its totality: five seconds of drunk making out with some random girl, and about a half dozen kissed with a girl I dated for about four weeks. Obviously, I wasn't going to do much with a girl and being closeted, I couldn't be in a relationship, the only context in which I could imagine being physically intimate with someone. I think we make too much of a big deal of virginity. I don't think of myself as a virgin but rather that I just haven't had sex yet.

    Right now it sounds like your biggest problem is not that you need to get out there, so much as you need to come out. Unless you are into clandestine hookups, the reality is that not much is going to happen in your love life until you come out. And honestly, that is alright if you are alright with it. Come out when you feel ready. Don't let society dictate that you need to get laid, but on the other hand, also don't let society keep you from coming either. It is your body, your life, and your choice. Don't compare yourself to others. Rather try to make decisions that make your happy.
     
  13. J Snow

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    I was 20 when my first time, and I had it with a stranger I met online just to lose my v card. It sucked, and you should wait until you meet someone you want to have sex with.
     
  14. andersonh09

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    You're definitely not a freak. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin at 21, you shouldn't feel weird just because kids are starting to lose their virginity at a younger age. Wait until the right moment for you, with the right person, try not to feel pressured by society.
     
  15. Mlpguy88

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    I think the part that I'm really worried about is when then opportunity comes, the guy I'm with might be to weird-ed out by me being a virgin. I feel like the longer I wait the more awkward it will be.
     
  16. KaraBulut

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    Well, maybe instead of worrying about losing your virginity (which is a vague concept in the gay world), maybe you should focus on improving your social skills and finding opportunities to meet and get to know other people.

    Work on your social life and the rest will fall into place in good time.
     
    #16 KaraBulut, Dec 25, 2011
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2011
  17. Free JDR

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    Never put pressure on that. What matters now is that you know and trust your own judgements! if it's your choice then go with it!