I hope this is the right forum... not sure if this was supposed to go into the support and advice section but oh well. I'm in my early teens and I'm a virgin. I get along well with others and I haven't had any social problems. But I've noticed that for a while now I've been overprotective over my personal space. I sometimes don't mind but if someone surprisingly reaches out to touch me (or does touch me) and I don't expect it then I'll freeze up or move away. Even if someone's putting their hand around my shoulders I'm holding back a temptation to say "get away from me." Basically what happens is, if someone is near me, I shy away from them, and if they touch me, I immediately want to hurt them to get them away, like punching them or something, but I try my best not to (so far so good). I'll usually knock their hand away and/or walk away. Every now and then I might yell at them, "Don't touch me!" and then apologize for being so rude about it. Is this normal? Is this a phobia? Should I go see a doctor about it, or just leave it be? Should I try to fix it, and if so, how? Or just let it go and let my body feel what's natural? It's starting to really irritate me and I wish I knew what it was all about. :eusa_doh: Thanks for reading.
I'm the same (with anxiety and depression) and I've been getting over my 'personal space' thing through karate. I have to touch people and let them in my personal space and get in theirs. Partner dancing also helps to get used to being touched. Just something that helps me and might help you.
I'm similar to you in that I don't like when people touch me, but I've never yelled at someone or wanted to hurt them so I could get away. I'm more likely to flinch or be awkward about it. I'm working towards stepping out of my comfort zone though, and have friends that tell me my hugs are getting better, haha. Why do you think you are so against it? Also, do you only feel this way when someone else tries touching you, or are you uncomfortable even if you were to initiate it?
I'm not sure myself. :S And it's kinda inbetween. I'm more comfortable about it if I initiate it, but not 100%.
Its kind of the opposite for me :lol: I like the feeling of being touched but it hardly happens, since I've so used to isolating myself from people, being touched feels wierd but nice at the same time.
It sounds like it's okay, CrystalRaindrop, but you might have to change how you deal with it. I used to have a huge personal space: I would have to stand at least two metres away from someone to be comfortable enough to talk to them. If people got in my space, I would get the urge to hit them, too. Just tell people you need more space. I did, and they understood, and it wasn't even awkward. After a few years I started feeling more comfortable around people. You have a right to as much personal space as you feel you need, so don't feel bad about it, but do tell people. That way you won't end up hitting anyone. I don't think it's a phobia, unless it interferes with everyday life. Like, if you can't walk past someone on the sidewalk without stepping out into the street, that might be a phobia. You'll probably find that you need human contact. Hopefully there are people you're more comfortable with, like parents, siblings or close friends, whom you can touch without getting upset. You might have to explain the situation to them, but you know that better than I do. You may find that you need sexual contact, but in your early teens you probably don't have to worry about that yet. If it is an issue, try touching yourself, it feels much safer than letting someone else touch you.
I am a big believer in personal space - the only person that can hug me is my partner and my cat! I don't like people touching me - I don't know why!
