Not sure if this really falls under this category because I’m not really seeking any help. This is more just a ramble of stuff that has come to pass (that probably doesn’t make sense, and I probably used it wrong, but I’ve wanted to say that for a while). Moving on… So while it has been decided to not tell my family of my gender situation, they know of my orientation. That being said, it feels irritating :dry:. It’s like it never happened. I went through all that crap for practically nothing :tantrum:? My parents don’t even want to talk to me about anything that has to do with it because I bring it up too much they say. I’ll have you know that I don’t! I just bring it up more often than before, which isn’t much at all, because I want to get these feelings I’ve been bottling up out. I told them that. They still don’t want to talk about it. It clashes with what they told me about telling them stuff that bothers me. When stuff bothers me and it feels like too much, I cut myself . And I have done it recently. I’m fully aware that this isn’t healthy, but I don’t know what else to do to get these feelings out. Writing doesn’t help, my friends aren’t the ideal people to go to for this, and there isn’t anyone who I can tell this to face-to-face; mono y mono (is that right?). It was planned for me to see a counselor, but that didn't happen. My mom kept saying that we'll do that soon. It has been months. I gave up asking and bringing it up. According to her, I should be able to talk to her about anything. Again, it clashes! What the heck am I supposed to :bang:? There isn't a person I can talk to about this stuff. I just want to get these feeling of irritation, anger, and anxiety out, but that doesn't seem possible anywhere in the near future. So maybe this does go under H&WB. That thought alone is depressing.
Even though your parents don't embrace your orientation, I think it's a good thing that they don't outright condemn it. It sounds like they really don't know how to handle the situation, so they just hope they can ignore it. Schools usually have at least one counselor, so if you're comfortable, try to see if there's a person to talk to at school. Your mom sounds like a cool person, if she insists that you can talk to her about anything. Have you tried sitting down with her so that you have all of her attention? Lastly, cutting doesn't help with anything. It'll only cause you to loose blood and open a spot for infection. Everybody deserves to be loved and respected, so put that blade away. Life has got you down right now, the it's only momentary. Things will get better as your find people you can trust, and when think get clearer as you get older.
