I have disordered eating, rapidly developing into a full blown eating disorder. I've tried to receive help for it but I'm apparently not sick enough, so I guess they're waiting for me to get sicker. Anyway, I think that one of the main causes is that I dieted, lost weight and my breasts shrunk. It's my main motivation for weight loss. Add in the fact that I hate my body because it's feminine, and that gives me the perfect reason to punish myself through restriction. But anyway, I was wondering if anyone else has had an experience similar to this?
Sort of... I hated my body growing up, so I binged on food, then wouldn't eat, then went through periods of eating too much, then tried all sorts of diets... And it was because of my gender issues, in part. I just hated how I looked so much. It got better once I got into therapy. I'm sorry you feel you need to punish yourself. Your body really isn't your fault... hurting it, and yourself, tends to make things worse instead of better. What sort of help have you tried to get?
I've seen three counselors. I was referred to my third counselor by the hospital after a suicide attempt, because it was either that or be kept in hospital and my parents wouldn't let that happen. I saw a dietician (eventually) through the third counselor, but when I started opening up and going into details about my eating with him, he dropped me. I haven't had an appointment since. I also struggle with purging behaviours and self harm, not caused by my gender issues but definitely they add to it. What kind of therapy did you get? I know we're in different countries, but how did you get it, what was it like ect? If you don't mind me asking.
I saw a therapist for my gender problems. I did a lot of Google searches and found someone in the next city over; he had a sliding fee scale, so I saw him, and he really helped me sort through the gender stuff. He also wrote my letter for me to get hormones. I also picked up the book Health At Every Size, by Linda Bacon, and it helped me get in a better mindset. I'm so sorry your counselor dropped you like that. You deserve to get competent, positive assistance with these problems. Maybe you could use Google or something to look for people in your area that are willing to take people with eating disorders?
Yeah, I had a quick look but I'll have to take a deeper look because I didn't find anything. Thanks for your help.
Good job Seek - beat me to the quick. Damn this Australian time zone If it's of any consolation Dovakiin, you're not the only one to develop an eating disorder as a result of gender issues.
Well before I came out as trans I was 180. Now I'm 140 and still losing weight, body issues are definitely a problem so eating disorders aren't uncommon.
Before I started T I used to hate how my body looked any time I wasn't fit (more feminine arms, waist, legs, etc.) so I used to eat as little as I could get away with. It had a crazy toll on my healthy though, not permanent but I was constantly fatigued, light headed, and no matter what I did it didn't seem to alleviate my depression. I never went to a therapist or doctor during that time, but my friend tried to tell me I had a body image disorder and that I might actually NOT be trans (lol go figure, isn't that what you could say GID is?). Needless to say, I totally ignored that bs. If you do start some sort of rigorous exercise program, it might help you feel a little bit better. You'd gain more weight, since you'd need to intake more calories, but the weight would translate into muscle/density instead of fat, which would give you a more masculine figure overall. Exercise will also boost your metabolism, make you feel healthier and probably make you feel more happy in general. Lots of cardio can also help shape your body in a way that you might be more comfortable with. Also, my chest starting shrinking as soon as I started working out on p90x. Haha, thanks Tony Horton!
... p90x? G_G *Google searches* Ooooh. I think the problem is that so many trans people are already hyper-aware of their body, so it just aggravates everything.
I spent ages trying to increase my protein intake, and building muscles from rock climbing, cardio, loads of different exercises. But nothing worked because although I gained a bit of muscle, I have a very petite, feminine figure with breasts that aren't too big, but aren't exactly small. u_u I find it all weird because I honestly don't know what I want to look like. Sometimes I feel masculine, sometimes I feel slightly more feminine, and I'm never happy with the shape of my body.
