Right. So here's the thing. I've always wondered how erm... a guy knows hes a top or a bottom. I mean I've always had this weird feeling that I'd be bottom but that's just weird as I have nothing to go on, I'm not out and it's well. Just seems weird that I'd feel that way. Can anyone explain what it's like? Curiosity:bang: gone crazy
You may have to experiment. Short answer is do you like receiving anal sex or giving? Or both? It's possible to not have a preference and prefer either one.
I've always seen experimenting as a potentially bad idea. I was just curious as do guys know before hand or is it something they realize in the moment or what
I was always told that there's generally (not always) a dominant guy who's always on top. Seeing as I'm not out and never really thought about gay sex I wouldn't want to be either but certainly not bottom. I'd rather just lay there cuddling (very soppy I know)
A secret: you don't have to chose one over the other. When it comes to top or bottom, always chose c) All of the Above. I'm being serious. (*hug*)
That's not soppy. awww... That sounds really nice . I mean I'm not entirely sure as I'm not out and really I'm just going on gut feeling. But cuddling. awww
I think more guys are at least somewhat versatile than are just tops or bottoms. And I think the best solution to see what you like is to experiment. Get yourself a dildo (start with a small one) and gently practice with it. It's pretty rare to have a truly fabulous experience the very first time, because it takes a little while to get used to it, but after you've tried it a few times, starting with slow and gentle use and working up from there, you'll have an idea if it's for you or not. If you do get a dildo, be sure and start with your fingers first, use lots of lube, and go slowly. That should give you an idea of whether or not you enjoy it.
Like Kara said, there really isn't a need to choose one and stick to it for the rest of your life. I have heard it being compared to deciding what you like more, vanilla or chocolate? Obviously you have to try them both to know, and while you might have a slight idea of what you might prefer, you certainly don't have to eat the same flavor all the time. You really have to experience both. I always thought as myself as a "top" for a long time until I met my current boyfriend. Then it turns out that we both have always been mostly tops in our past relationships. Tricky, right? but it actually wasn't that complicated. Now we just sort of flip flop when we feel like it and we just do whatever we feel like doing at the time. Sometimes we even flip flop on the same night. Its hard to think about and imagine, but things just sort of fall into place once you are in the moment. Don't stress too much about it right now
^I have to agree with this Granted I don't know yet, but I see myself being more of a bottom, but that is because I have a slight submission fetish. But in the end I would still pick option C. If anything sex should just be fun, there is no need to pick just one role. I had more of a question about personality and sex, and most people said that versatile should be an option, so I think most guys don't limit themselves to one. http://emptyclosets.com/forum/anonymous-discussions/57346-gay-sex-personality-vs-preference.html
Yeah. I don't know why I see myself as being a bottom I just do. Maybe it is a submissive thing I don't know. It's just how I feel atm
Well eventually. I'm not in a hurry and knowing my luck it'll be a very long time before I find that someone. I know it's soppy but I want my first time to be somewhat special. Is that soppy or what lol
Despite the obvious embarrassment I'd have of purchasing a dildo. would it not be best to start exploring with fingers first, although I have no idea on how to go about it
Well... the obvious embarrassment can be avoided completely by purchasing online. Amazon has them, along with about a gazillion other stores, some of which will provide you assistance over the phone in choosing one. Email me if you need info on that. I can completely related to the shame associated with buying sex toys or videos or anything like that... but when you realize there's nothing shameful or embarrassing about wanting to explore yourself sexually, then you begin to realize it's no big deal. And as far as exploring with fingers... yes, that's a great place to start. Make sure to trim your fingernails, use some lube (vaseline or ordinary vegetable oil will work just fine), and just... explore slowly. Nothing to be afraid of, and you won't hurt yourself, and it's a good warm-up for either anal sex or dildo play.
Well, there's a couple of other things to think about. One is that anal sex is not necessarily part of every male-male relationship. Some guys have plenty of sex but not necessarily anal sex. The other thing to think about is that submission is not always the same thing as bottoming. There's plenty of aggressive, power-bottoms. There's plenty of tops that like to be ordered around. Just because you might enjoy playing a passive role doesn't necessarily mean you're always going to be the catcher.
Yeah. Like I've said previously I'm not really a 100% sure or anything. I think I'm just jumping the gun and thinking to far ahead. I know that anal sex is necessary for sex with a guy. I guess it just all comes down to what your comfortable with and how both of you feel and what not. Thanks:icon_bigg
