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i really need to see a therapist

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by stumble along, Jun 17, 2012.

  1. stumble along

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    well a friend did some digging and found this disorder that essentially has a 80-90% for me and i feel that it very accurately describes everything.
    its called avoidant personality disorder and heres what she sent me

    i really want to get help but my parents think everything is fine and dandy and i dont like them/ dont talk to them so i dont know how to get help without getting into an arguement

    :help:
    sumbody halp pls
     
  2. Sayu

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    I'm in similar situation, I am 99,9% sure I have had OCD for like 7 years now plus several severe phobias. And my mum doesn't know about it, I'd like to tell her, but I don't want to make her worry about me. + I live in a small city and when you see a psychiatrist here, you are considered a freak or at least not normal...
     
  3. Hawthorne

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    Wow, I match like 80% of that... scary
     
  4. Chip

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    Guys,

    Self-diagnosis is a beyond terrible idea. I could go through the DSM and probably find 50 disorders that any given person would fit 80% of. While it's possible you might have some avoidant traits, it's far more likely you're just a normal person with some issues that match this disorder.

    There's a big difference between having traits that make you appear similar to having a personality disorder and actually having the disorder.

    Please don't try to self-diagnose. If you're concerned, see a professional. And as far as the "if you see a psychiatrist, you're not normal"... who the hell is going to know unless you tell them? :slight_smile:
     
  5. stumble along

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    I probably should have put this on the first post, but i know self diagnosis is a really bad idea and I know i want to see a professional I just dont know how to actually go about seeing a professional.

    And technically I didn't self diagnos a friend of mine linked this to me (which is still really bad unless she has qualifications and never told me) and (among other people) essentially said that theyve seen how I act and they are very concerned if not scared for me.

    I know I have issues, I know I need to see someone because its not going away and if anything its getting progressively worse. I have yet to harm my self in any way (because I am too damn proud of injuring my self for some strange reason) but if I was at the point of suicide I would only have two choices, not do it or do it, and if i do I'd probably find a way to make 100% sure i ended up dead (again, fear of messing up and becoming handicapped in some way is not an option)

    I just. Don't know how I'm going to handle what's coming ahead of me, it looks like mount Everest from where I'm standing.
     
  6. Hawthorne

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    I agree just because some thing said that I have tendencies that match does not mean that it is correct or that I will be like that ever. Though I may want to see a Psychiatrist though to over come some of the issues that I have had that may be hindering me and self diagnosis is bad.
     
  7. castle walls

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    Have you ever considered trying to see the school counselor or calling a hotline and explaining the situation to them? They may be able to refer you to some good places in your area for you to get help. If your parents don't believe you when you say that something is wrong and you need help, a school counselor could talk to your parents for you and explain the situation. Sometimes hearing it from a professional outside source (the school counselor) helps
     
  8. Z3ni

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    I have most if not all those traits but, on the other hand, I'm not really concerned anymore, and I can be happy aswell.. so :confused:
     
  9. stumble along

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    I already graduated so I can't talk to a school counselor, and I'm not comfortable as it is having to tell essentially someone else a lot about me.

    I am going to college though so I'm sure they'll have a counselor but by then it'll be too late
     
  10. castle walls

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    Why is it too late to wait until college? Is something going to happen or are you saying that you'd prefer help sooner? I'm not sure if finances are an issue or not but counseling from colleges are usually cheaper and (depending on the school) are covered in student fees.

    Sometimes you have to tell others information about you in order to get help but it may not be a lot of information. If you call a hotline for local resources, all you really have to tell them is what area you'd like to resource to be located, what resource you're looking for and why (you could be general about this if needed). You could always say that you're uncomfortable sharing any more information if they pry and/or ask about their confidentiality policy before you say anything. If you're calling them to ask for resources, I can't imagine them telling anyone. It would probably be against their confidentiality policy
     
  11. Chip

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    So if you're not comfortable telling "essentially someone else" a lot about you... how are you going to communicate with a counselor or therapist? :slight_smile:

    Also, the counselors at colleges and universities are generally for short-term and crisis-related issues; they usually limit the number of sessions you can have. So finding either a local therapist, or one you can work with once you get to college is probably your best bet.

    On the issue of seeing a psychiatrist for mental health disorders... in general, I *strongly* recommend that anyone with a concern start with either a psychologist or a clinical social worker. Psychiatrists are medical doctors whose training is mostly in brain disorders and pharmacology. They get nowhere near the training that LCSWs or psychologists do in understanding psychological issues, and their overarching focus is on using drugs to correct problems. The adage "When you're a hammer, everything looks like a nail" applies here. So if you go to a psychiatrist, you are likely to come away with a prescription for one or another drug, which is usually not the right solution for most of the sorts of mental health issues that teens and young adults have.

    A therapist or social worker can work with you and determine if you're dealing with something that may require medication. If so, they will make a referral. But more likely, they will work with the issue and help you overcome it without the need for drugs, and that's a much better long-term solution.
     
  12. stumble along

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    Well I mean i really hate talking about myself to people, especially people ive just met and dont trust, but im going to bite the bullet because I cannot keep going like this like I have for the last 6 years.

    I also dont know where to go to get these numbers and yes i cant wait till college because I'm doing stuff over the summer abd I really want to try and have fun for once before I leave. I'd prefer to at least be getting help by the time school starts so I can make friends.

    How would I go about bringing this up to my parents who think everything is fine? The only time I went to a therapist was when I threw a pair of jeans at my mom because she was about to kill some of my animals because I didn't do something ( taking out the trash) and she thought I went off the deep end and 'attacked' her
     
  13. Gravity

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    Coming late to the thread, but I wanted to say that I went to a counselor at a university, and they didn't limit the number of sessions I had - I went for four months, sometimes more than once a week. Also my ex-bf went for longer than that. So, while I can't speak for every university, if you need to stay in counselling, I'm pretty sure they'll let you stay.

    Don't worry too much about not knowing how to communicate with the counselor. If nothing else, just tell them up front that you're not used to sharing personal details. It's certainly not like talking to a friend, I can guarantee you that. They can work with you, and at least you'll have given it a shot.

    As far as bringing it up to your parents, you could couch it in some other issues - going off to school is stressful and you want to see a counselor, etc. Something like that. Or, even if you are graduated already, I'd imagine you could still talk to someone at your hs about getting counselling started (the guidance counselor, maybe? or a teacher you know?). There may even be someone at the school you can meet with short-term until you get to school and have the counselors there available to you.
     
  14. stumble along

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    I do have college orientation in two weeks, even though its only for one day and the morning of the next, I'm absolutely terrified, my parents know I'm literally shit at being social so I guess I can say that I need to see a counselor to help me maybe break out of my shell?
    That sounds like such a lie.
     
  15. Gravity

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    Could you just tell them you want to see a counselor? Would they let you go to one without an explicitly stated reason?
     
  16. stumble along

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    they would need a VERY good reason for me to go, like 'if i don't go i will spontaneously combust'

    also they hate paying money for things, like, badly, and then they say they will do things and not do them for days and hope i forget, if i bring it up too soon they blow up, if too long then im back at step one. if they finally cant avoid it any longer then they make me feel bad for having them spend money and call me ungrateful/lazy/etc.

    and if i say i cant tell them the reason why then it goes to 'well im not paying for anything until i know why' even if i tell them it will be worth it in the long run

    basically, i cant go unless i tell them whats going on, then after i tell them they will give ridiculous advice or pull the (when i was a kid i never got ballet lessons) card and say im all better

    hell when i said my leg hurt they asked 20 questions, told me to take a tylenol and stfu

    and it took five days to convince my dad that something was not well with my excretory system, and even did not care

    btw, there was no UTI to begin with (doctor called, everything was clean) and it still feels strange and i think its now lodged itself into my anxiety so now its worse than before.

    basically, im not getting help, the only to maybe get help is to tell them im pansexual and restate everything about 3 times. ive seen how they act towards gays and lesbians, its not nice. i nearly got kicked out of the house because i left my phone and my friends went to a gay website to mess with me and i didnt notice and why my mom checked my phone i dont know why but she went on the internet and saw it and flipped a shit and when my dad picked me up he was really upset (but not as upset as mom)
     
  17. Gravity

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    I'm sorry to hear about all this with your parents - regardless of past events, it would be nice if you felt you could talk to them about needing a counselor. Have you tried bringing it up, just to see what would happen?

    Also, since you mentioned this earlier in the thread - why will it be "too late" to see a counselor when you get to college?
     
  18. stumble along

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    I feel like i cant trust them with anything though, and from what they say the feeling is mutual (though i admit to maybe not completeling things to the letter they nevertheless get completed, and its usually stuff like household chores)

    I'm not good at talking, if I bring it up to my parents and manage to not mess that up, my mom (like i said, in an effort to save money dad will just tell me to tough it, which clearly does not work since ive been toughing it since i was 11) will ask questions, lots of questions, and not only are they a lot of them, but they are very similar to one another and it makes me get rather annoyed since im essentially repeating myself like a tape recorder. Which will cause her to get mad at me and shut down the conversation.

    Even so, bow is not a good time because I'm going to get shit for something this afternoon when they get home
     
  19. Koolladgirl

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    that is alot mez . akaward
     
  20. stumble along

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    um, and update because i still need help, maybe more help than previously.

    but i did go to orientation and hanged out with a friend, and i didnt die of fright, i was a bit amazed actually because i wasnt all that afriad, social? not as much as my ego would have liked, but i pulled through. i actually tried really hard at orientation to talk to people and make friends, and i thought i met some people who were kind of cool.

    well i can say that come the orientation party to get people aqcuainted, i faked a head ache and left early (about halfway through) because no one would hang out with me and i ended up talking to one of the advisors who goes to the school (student ambassador or something) plus my group got there late so all the activites were taken by groups of people and my new aquaintances abandoned me so whatever, up until then it was a decent day.

    after that i havent hanged out with anyone since, and i was getting really pissed at basically anyone of my "friends" because none of them would respond when i texted, or say they were busy (understandable) or flat out would not let me talk about my shit (even though with every single one of those fuckers i listen to all their issues)

    i looked up the counselor place at my new school and after the first visit i get ten hours, that wont be enough so now i have to look for a phsycologist/therapist whatever around here and that means ill have to get a job to pay for it so my parents wont find out and i dont know if that can happen.

    i tried to get back in my sport after a year haitus and even thought its helping a little its not enough. ive begun to think again due to long time spans of nothing, and have realized ive been like this since i was eleven and ive begun thinking about killing myself again because this is just i cant take it anymore and it feels like its going to be like this for the rest of my life ignored by everyone and alone and honestly i would rather find out what happens when you die, be it eternal nothingness, heaven, hell, sovngarde, reincarnation, another life, anything.