Hey fellow ECers, I need some advice. I've been thinking about starting meds again that I haven't used for almost three years now. I used a lot of meds when I was in my mid-teens, and saw a lot of therapists, and ultimately I found one (med) that really worked for me. I was on it for about a year, then stopped because obviously it's healthier if you can handle things without. Things went pretty well, but over the last maybe two months or so I feel like things have started going downhill again, and I really don't wanna end up where I was years ago. So, I went to my doctor to see if I could get the medication I was on back then, without all the hassle, and he said he could arrange that for me if I wish, because it was basically the only thing that worked, and did wonders for me. It's Zoloft. Which is a brand of... let me check... sertraline, in case that's interesting. I'm really really inclined to go and get them, but I have this little doubt in the back of my mind because: 1. Even though it did miracles for me then, this is the one med I can't really remember about whether I had side effects or not (it made me a little blurry I guess, that must be why I can't remember :lol. So... with all the horror stories about SSRI's (even though I've never experienced anything real bad myself), I'm a little hesitant. and 2. Back then, my treatment was a combination of both the medication and intensive therapy, and I will under no condition go back to therapy, as I HATE talking to people I don't know. But then will the meds still have the same effect? See I don't know which of the two (therapy/meds) made things go so well. I guess I'm just not a huge drug fan, (big big understatement) so I need to be sure I'm doing the right thing here. Maybe it's a small step for some, but for me starting this again would be huge. So my question is... can any of you tell me about this medicine, and am I making the right choice in starting again? Thanks Justin.
Justin, I think the big question is, why do you feel like you need it? Zoloft is an SSRI antidepressant, and I tend to believe that antidepressants are grossly overprescribed for situations that, a generation or two ago, we recognized as ordinary ups-and-downs and simply worked through. If you're feeling depressed, can you pinpoint when it started happening, and what was going on surrounding it? With all that you have come through in going from straight-to-probably-gay (in your conscious mind, at least) in a very short time, I can imagine that you might be having a lot of ups and downs as you are working through who you are, and how that fits into the rest of your life, and contemplating telling your parents and so forth. So if those are the primary issues, and you are functional, but just feeling down, then likely as not you don't actually need the Zoloft and would benefit more from therapy or even just talking through things with someone. If there's something more serious, then maybe talking a bit more about it would help in better understanding what's going on. If you don't feel comfortable sharing publicly, feel free to PM me.
Well, I'm not really knowldgable on the Zoloft, but may I focus on one paragraph in your post for a bit? Sure, therapy is stressful. It's talking about sensitive things to people you don't know. And worse: they don't take excuses like "I just don't know" or "You suggested I do [X] or think deeper about [X], but I just can't handle that!" But... sometimes something you hate to do is also what you need to do. Because all the Zoloft is going to do is suppress the symptoms. But the moment you stop again, the original issues that caused them are still going to be there. Kind of like saying "I'm hitting my head with a hammer. And I'd hate to stop doing that. So is it healthy if I just take lots of aspirin to counteract the massive headaches it gives me?" So;... maybe it's worth contemplating whether it's not better to confront the issues, even if you're temporarily counteracting the symptoms to make that part easier.
Actually I'm not feeling depressed, neither did I a couple years ago. I didn't get them for that, or for ordinary ups-and-downs; I really really needed them. The reason I feel like I need them now, is because a lot of the same feelings from back then have started coming back, lately increasingly often. It's scary, and interfering with my social life. I know talking usually helps, but I hated it years ago, and I was so glad once I didn't have to talk to anyone anymore. So, yeah, therapy is really not an option.
OK, I'm a bit confused here. You're saying you aren't depressed, and you don't need them for ups and downs, but you really really need them. So if you aren't depressed, what do you really really need them for? Zoloft is an antidepressant. As far as I know, if you aren't depressed, there would be no reason to take Zoloft. Is there something other than depression? Anxiety maybe? If so, I'd guess that has more to do with what's going on for you in terms of your sexual identity process, and unless there's something I don't understand, it doesn't seem like something you need to be medicated for. But... sometimes something you hate to do is also what you need to do. ...And what, exactly, do you think has been going on when you've spoken to me over IM? It's not therapy, but it's really not much different than what you do with a therapist, provided you have a competent therapist. Perhaps you just had a shitty one.
Oh sorry, I see now that would be confusing. I guess sometimes I forget people can't read my mind. Yeah it was for anxiety. And yes I know some of it now probably has to do with everything that's been going on, but I'm trying to differentiate between normal anxiety and something more serious. I'm not one to post his complete medical history, but oh heck, since I see a lot more have done it and I am in desperate need for advice on this..: I didn't get a clear diagnosis, as I apparently always displayed symtoms of two things, and in the end I guess they just couldn't decide which one it was :dry: (probably party because I'm not so cooperative with therapists lol) So ehhm... well what they talked about was panic disorder and PTSD. So I guess I'm scared that's coming back again... Fair enough. But the big difference is that 1. We don't talk real-life. There's a computer screen between us. And 2. Sure we talk about (for me) "heavy" things, but a therapist just keeps searching and searching until they find something that will satisfy them in explaining what's going on with you. They don't have to know every aspect of my life Ugh. I get all worked up just thinking about it. Anyway, I realize it's probably just me being silly. I'll just try without the meds for a while more.
