Hi everyone, I'm a 49 yr old gay man who developed RE after having back surgery in 2008. My partner of 8 yrs just left me 3 weeks ago because he could'nt handle it anymore. As he put it, "I have needs". So, are there any other gay men on this website that has RE? It's depressing and it makes me feel less of a man. I was a very outgoing man until this happened. I still try to keep people laughing and I do my best to keep a smile on my face but sometimes it's tough. I have tried other website forums but 99.9% of the men on those sites are straight and they don't have a clue how important it is for a gay man to ***. It's just part of our lifestyle. I'm afraid to try and date again because of this issue with me. I don't want to get laughed at or felt sorry for. I just want someone to love me for who I am. Are there any guys out there feeling the same way? Sorry for rambling. I am really hoping there are others that either don't care if a man has this issue and would love a man anyway or other men that have the same issue and want to talk about this. Let me know! Thanks, Rick
Wow. A guy sticks with you for nearly a decade, and then when you can't cum anymore he leaves you. Well, let me just say you're probably better off. If he was basing the entire relationship you had together just on sex alone, you're WAY better off. I trust you've discussed the issue with your doctor? I'm trusting that you know what caused it, and you know that the condition isn't serious. It's only an issue if you're trying to procreate, and as a gay man that isn't possible. However, if you wanted to store some sperm at a sperm bank or something I do believe there are some medications that can help. Aside from the procreative aspect of things, it doesn't harm your ability to get an erection or to achieve an orgasm. Your orgasms are merely 'dry' - there is no ejaculate because it empties into your bladder instead of exiting through your urethra. From my personal point of view if a guy told me he had this problem, it wouldn't be a big deal. It wouldn't even make it on a list of disqualifications. My first thought is concern over what had happened to cause the issue (as there are a number of things that could cause it); the concern is related to his health. In your case it's not that big of a deal. My second thought is pretty much along the lines of this, 'Well that makes clean up after sex a bit easier.'
I agree with Aldrick, you are better off. And you are still the same guy as before. If someone really gives more importance to your ability to ejaculate than to who you are as a person then that individual is not right for you. This!
I've had RE for 35 years. I had bladder problems when I was a kid and the muscles in the neck of my bladder were not strong enough to close during orgasm. As a result, nothing comes out when I have an orgasm. Does it bother some guys? Yes it does. If a guy wants a facial or gets off on watching you shoot, you won't be the partner he's looking for. But I have met plenty of guys who were not bothered by this. Even though nothing comes out, I still use condoms (as we all should) and there is certainly less mess to clean up. You would be surprised at the number of guys who have this. It is a common result from prostate treatments. What I have found is that if you are upfront about it (as you should be about a lot of things when you plan on having sex with a guy), there are less issues.
I will admit that I love cum...but, I would never leave a guy for this or even consider it a bad thing when dating him. A real relationship is soooooo much more then sex and you can still have sex! I'm sorry but, your partner was an asshole.
I'm not a big fan of semen myself, so I personally wouldn't care at all... I would be more concerned with how my partner feels about his condition. I am sorry your partner was so judgmental. Hang in there. There are guys out there who will love and respect you.
Well folks, So. very sorry for just replying. I took a year off social media just so I could accept myself and to get over my ex dumping me because of my RE. Then, 2 years ago, I found a man that wholeheartedly loves me for me. He loves the sex he has with me. I told him when we first started talking, about my condition and he said "that's fantastic, I can't stand cum", we dated a year and I proposed to him last Sept, on his 50th birthday. So thank you all for your uplifting messages! I developed RE after back surgery and I'm still having severe back pain, he loves me and I love him very much. You all were right, someone will accept me for me and I found him! Peace and love to you all!
Well you still have your life ahead of you and your single. I would suggest seeing a doctor about it and you're better off with someone who unconditionally loves you.
