My brother is in a mental hospital

Can I offer my best wishes for your brother and you, his family.

My sister tried twice to commit suicide and was also committed for a period of time - until she was considered to be no longer a danger to herself.

I think your brother is, for the moment, in the best place, provided he gets proper supervision and treatment and, of course, the support of you, his family.

I found it very hard at first because my sister was unrecognizable - she was so estranged from us that it was as if she were a stranger - it does not surprise me your brother seems unresponsive.

I suggest you need to be frequently in contact, in person rather than by phone, and you need to take a close interest in his treatment, both to keep the medival staff on their toes AND to show him, even if he seems unresponsive, that you are taking an active role in his life and that it MATTERS to you all that he gets better.

As a rule of thumb, I believe it takes as long to get better as it took to become sick, so I can't encourage you by saying there is a quick-fix. For something as serious as this, the healing process will be long and you must try to remain patient with him - show him you love him, prove to him he matters, disprove his internal theory that the world would be better off without him.

I'm assuming that this has not suddenly come upon you as a family, and maybe you are all already aware what has brought him to this dark place. If there are issues you can resolve for him, it may help to take the pressure off him and again prove that he is not fighting against his problems on his own.

Lastly, I would say that you must not let his illness sap YOUR strength - if he pulls you all down too, there will be no-one left to bail-out the canoe. Striking the balance between caring and caring too much is very, very difficult - just listen to YOUR feelings and if you feel it getting too much, step back for a day or two and let someone else take over.

Good luck and persevere! (&&&)

 

Pinstripe,
Although I just found EC I have suffered from depression for quite some time and had contemplated suicide many years ago. The only way I could explain my deep depression to my family was to explain that it felt like I was stuck at the bottom of a deep and dark well. I could see only shadows of life passing above. No matter how hard I fought to climb my way out i continued to slide deeper into that abyss. But what helped me was my family being there for me just like you are there for your brother. In my case I didn't want advice, I didn't want sympathy, I simply needed to know people were there for me and weren't passing judgement.....just like the unconditional support I have discovered here at EC. Be there for him, let him know you love him, and listen when he needs a shoulder. Depression is such an ugly place and even though he may not feel like it right now, there is a way out of that deep well. Help him find his inner strength. Please know though that there are no quick fixes, I still embrace the fight every day but have found that life is so worth living and I hope that he will too.

My thoughts are with you both!

 

I've been psychiatrically hospitalized four times (although one time was just an overnight stay in the Psychiatric Emergency Department). These stays were, for me, overwhelmingly positive.

It's fairly normal for your brother to be non-responsive; he probably won't feel up to talking much for a few days, don't take it personally. You should try to visit him at least once during his stay, it'll mean a lot to him.

Don't ask him why he tried to kill himself, he'll tell you if and when he's ready, your job now is to be non-judgmental. The important thing is to make sure he knows you're there for him no matter what. This is not "you're a good person and I'll always love you," but "I don't care if you're a good person, I'll love you anyway" for reasons that Ana Mardoll explains better than I can.

Find out if there's any treats or comforts he's lacking on the ward, and find out if you can bring them in. If your brother's artistic, find out if you can bring in his tools (pens, paints, instruments, etc). Bring books, psych wards can be deadly dull at times.

But above all, convey your love. Let him know you're there for him no matter what, that nothing he can do will ever change that. Feel free to PM me if you want to know more about my experiences with depression and hospitalization.