I need to stop being co-dependent and i want to be able to do things for myself. My bf has helped me get at least 10x better just by how he is but i still have more things that need to be done. i want advice on things to do and i want someone to give me tips i can do because i need to stand up and be myself not whoever i am around . i need to stop being worried that because i am not around my bf he is upset with me or mad . i realize i am unhealthy and it will take time and work but i have to start somewhere i just need directions to get there . So advice and tips , breaking co-dependency is going to require my own realization in what happened to cause this but i need to find it myself just i need help getting started.
I strongly recommend Brené Brown's books "I Thought It Was Just Me, But It Isn't" and "Gifts of Imperfection." Low self esteem, which is the birthplace of codependency, is based on shame. The more you understand about how the shame works, and why you have it... and the more you talk about it, the more you let go of the shame. In "gifts", Dr. Brown has ten "guideposts" that you can practice to help you let go of the shame. There's another book, "Codependent no more", which is also a good read, but honestly, Dr. Brown's books would be my first read, because she goes into clearer detail about the root cause, which makes it easier to really get at the core of the problem, while the "no more" book has strategies that will help.
