Hey there. I had seen a couple posts about gender dysphoria here, and it got me thinking, "Hey, maybe when I was little, that was me... I always did try to wear my sister's costumey dresses and stuff when I was little..." Well, I am the youngest of three children. My sister is the oldest of the three. She was ALWAYS doted upon and spoiled, or IS, even now at the least, though she's on the verge of moving out. I'm just trying to get my thoughts together in trying to get at this: maybe I saw my sister being treated differently-- no, she was treated better-- than the boys in my family, and that could have resulted in gender dysphoria? I sort of acted more girly as a child, because I wanted to be treated like they way everyone treated her? Does this make sense?
It makes sense - I can understand that her being treated as special might have made you want to emulate her by thinking "girly" but I don't think it's true. Sibling rivalry is a standard in so many families, but I haven't ever heard of it being the possible cause of issues around sexuality and gender perception.
It makes sense. Do you actually have a desire to be female, or do you just like dressing and "acting girly?" Cross dressers and drag queens/kings are actually a part of the transgender umbrella.
I sorta would've liked to when I was at that age. I still have some of my mannerisms which I developed from her, like the dislike of cheese and aversion to spiders. I don't have that desire so much anymore, but I feel like doing drag would be fun if I were famous hah...
Are you saying that you, as an adult, have questions about your gender? Or are you asking about behaviors that you had as a child? It's not usual for boys to dress up in their mother's clothes or their sister's clothes. Sometimes it's part of a pattern of connected behaviors. Sometimes it's just something that a child does for fun or curiosity. Your relationship with your sister. Clothing that you wear. These are all external things that wouldn't influence your feelings about your gender. On the other hand, your feelings about your gender can influence what you wear and how you feel about your sister. Gender is something that is very complicated. It's not something that works from the outside in. It's something that works from the inside out.
Well, here is something to try: crossdress in private and look at yourself in the mirror. How do you feel? For me, I feel a total liberation. I feel like I was able to transend over my old body, however superficial that transformation is. At that moment, I didn't even think about the advantages or disadvantage of being a girl gives me, I only feel like I am more or less whole (I know I will feel more fully whole if I can go through gender affirmation). Of course, this is just only my personal experience, and you can't be 100% sure about something as delicate as gender dysphoria. But try asking yourself these questions: 1. Do you want to be a female, even without the advantage you feel that being a female have? 2. If you suddenly lose your genital in an accident, and is given a choice to reconstruct your body to either male or female as you wish with no side effects, which would you choose? Hope this helps
Not as an adult, no, I have no questions about my gender. I was wondering if jealousy of my sister could have lead to certain aspects of gender dysphoria as a child. I saw her being favored and doted upon, and when I saw this, I tried to emulate her when I was little.
Something to think about... There's a tendency to see everything as black vs white or good vs bad. So, we see people as gay or straight. We see them as "butch" vs "effeminate". Gender and sexuality are probably the grayest of the gray things in life. There is something about gay people that seems to allow them to be less concerned about strict gender roles. And it's probably no coincidence that we seem to lead the way on roles, occupations and other non-traditional gender behavior. Fifty years ago, a man who was an actor or a stay-at-home dad was suspected as being gay. A woman who wanted a career or enjoyed sports would be suspected to be lesbian. These days, none of these things would be unusual for a straight man or woman. So, what you may see as "gender dysphoria" might not be a negative. You grew up with an older sister that you admired. You weren't stuck in being limited to doing just "boy things". It just be something that gave you a better perspective on the women in your life. It might be something that has freed you to be whatever you want to be and not be pressured by what "men are supposed to do" versus what "women are supposed to do"?
