1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

one little choice (May be triggering if you self harm)

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by Butterthecat23, Sep 10, 2012.

  1. Butterthecat23

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2012
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Plano
    Gender:
    Female
    I am not sure if this belongs under support and advice or health and well being, but that isn't really the point, is it?

    Okay so NORMALLY I would be texting my best friend with this problem, but she is the reason I have it. She.... Well, for lack of better words, she dumped me this afternoon. She said I wasn't healthy for her and a bunch of other crap. I wanted to die. So I carved FML onto my arm. It is very shallow (Much to my dismay :bang: ) But I am afraid of what people are going to say when they see it.

    I work tomorrow and I have girl scouts in the afternoon and my work uniform is short sleeved, so I am scared of what people are going to say if they see it. Hell, I KNOW people are going to see it. Yeah, not sure if I am asking for advice on how to hide it or how to deal. Maybe both. And before you say I should have thought of that before I carved it in, I WANTED TO LOSE MY LIFE AND MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF BLOOD SO I WASN'T THINKING VERY CLEARLY WAS I?

    PS: I am better-ish now, but..... Things are going to take time.
     
  2. KillTheLights

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2012
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    0
    God, I hope you're okay. If it's a shallow cut, it shouldn't take long to scab over and you could hide it a little bit with makeup or something. You should really talk to somebody though, if you're depressed.
     
  3. Butterthecat23

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2012
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Plano
    Gender:
    Female
    I did. Sort of. But we were best friends for nine years. That kind of friendship takes time to get over. I guess the real problem is that I keep scratching at it with a pocket knife to keep it fresh and to keep myself from completely losing my mind. :dry:
     
  4. KillTheLights

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2012
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    0
    Oh, you shouldn't do that lol.
    I hope you can cover it up, because people are so judgmental and closed minded. But you should probably tell a parent or even a student counceller. I really hope you feel better soon.
     
  5. Butterthecat23

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2012
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Plano
    Gender:
    Female
    Yeah, me too.... Guess that's why I came here, cuz everyone cares about everyone. Well, that sounded all hippie. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: But yeah, I came here cuz everyone is so supportive. It helps...
     
  6. KillTheLights

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2012
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    0
    It does, I've only been here for around an hour and I can already feel the love <3
     
  7. AshenAngel

    AshenAngel Guest

    I have to ask, is this the first time you have self-harmed? I was really awful about cutting and scraping when I stressed or got upset. I haven't in over eight months, which is good. Anyways, as for hiding it; concealer and a little powder should do the trick. It always worked well for me. And if it isn't covered as well as you'd like, put a band-aid over it and say you must have scratched it on accident or something... Dealing with it is much harder. I have someone to talk to now, but in the beginning I remember writing always helped. It still does. Good luck x
     
  8. darlig ulv

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2012
    Messages:
    187
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York City
    Don't ever do that, remember that there are people who love you. By the way, scars can be prevented with Vitamin E oil, it's really good. If you continue to suffer with this, I would recommend seeing a psychiatrist, they can get to the root of the problem and really help.
    p.s.: If you don't want anyone to see, I would recommend temporarily putting a a price of gauze on, just don't keep this sort of thing from people who can help.
     
  9. Fiddledeedee

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2011
    Messages:
    955
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    England
    It's okay. (*hug*) I have also self-harmed, and yes one does sometimes mess up, but all there is to do is move on and try not to do it again. I also have trouble picking at scabs and scratching myself until I bleed -- I justify it to myself by saying that since it isn't a blade it isn't self-harm, but it is and it's something I shouldn't do. I don't really have any tips for how to not scratch at it/keep it open, but could you lay paper over your arm and scribble on that with a pen, hold ice cubes, or do something else not involving blades that won't leave a mark? I am sorry for what happened with your best friend. (*hug*)

    It's good that they aren't deep cuts, however much you might want them to have been. :slight_smile: Slightly more awkward is the fact that it's letters rather than indistinct shapes, since that hints that it's deliberate. As you don't want people to see at work, can you wear a long-sleeved white top under your uniform or a jumper/jacket over it? If it's really warm or that wouldn't be appropriate, you might be able to use make-up and possibly bangles depending on where it is on your arm.
     
  10. Mogget

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2010
    Messages:
    2,397
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    New England
    If you want to talk about controlling the urge to self-harm, my recommendation is grounding. Grounding is the art of transferring your attention from your thoughts and feelings to your senses. This can be done by mildly stimulating your senses (e.g. running cold water over your hands, eating an orange, deep breathing) or, in more extreme cases, by shocking your senses (e.g. holding an ice cube to your skin, snapping a rubber band on your wrist, biting into a chili pepper).
     
  11. HarleyQ

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2012
    Messages:
    152
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Nebraska :l
    Gender:
    Female
    I'm so sorry about your friend!
    And I'm even sorrier you felt the need to harm yourself. I have been joking around about finding a "sponsor" or something for my cutting (like AA, you know?). I never really thought about finding help here, so good job! Good job for using this place and good job for talking to someone in general.

    If you ever need to talk, you can always talk to me :slight_smile: I'm a work in progress, so I might be able to help? or at least understand more than some other people might be able to :slight_smile:

    Try to focus on something else. Get really busy if you need to. Just do enough to force your mind away from cutting. Even if it's just temporary. This usually works for me. At least for a while, until I can talk to someone or move past it myself.

    Feel better! :slight_smile:
     
  12. Butterthecat23

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2012
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Plano
    Gender:
    Female
    Thank you all. :slight_smile: But it turns out that even though they never completely went away no one actually cared enough to say anything. -_________- I'm so loved in this world, huh? :bang: Oh well. It beats what I thought I was gonna get I guess......
     
  13. WALK2222

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2012
    Messages:
    103
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Massachusetts, USA
    I'm so sorry to hear about what you are going through :frowning2:
    And you are loved in this world. So many people love you. And if you feel alone out there, just remember that there are still people that love you, in life and even on here, we love you. (*hug*)
    If you would like to talk post on my wall sometime! I'd be happy too, although I have to go soon so I'm really sorry if I don't respond for a while.