As most of you know, my lovely wife is going for surgery in 3 and a half weeks, and at the end of the week, she is supposed to stop taking her hormones and T-Blockers in perperation for it. what i am worried about is that with a surge of Testosterone, is she going to end up a complete mess, or will she become some raging maniac? im worried, yet happy, for her. I dont know what to do.
Don't worry, I'm sure she'll be fine. While I don't have any knowledge of these procedures or what can happen, I think her doctors know what they are doing and you can try asking them if you're unsure. What I can guess is that since her testosterone will be given quite a boost, she may experience side effects from the changes in hormones. While I'm not too sure what these side effects might be, I think a change in mood might be normal. Don't worry though. I'm sure everything will be fine. The important thing would be to support and help her through these changes. And I think you're already on top of that. So congrats! Keep us informed on how she's doing.
The effects of starting and/or stopping hormones are not immediate. If your wife has been on hormones and T-blockers for a decent amount of time, it will take a while for her levels to revert, maybe 2-3 weeks or more. Having been on testosterone, no, it doesn't make one a "raging maniac" (which is a bit insulting honestly), but hormone fluctuations can have effects on mood if her levels do revert before surgery. What I see as being more of a potential issue is returning gender dysphoria from not being on hormones, as well as the anxiety of an upcoming procedure. She'll probably be a bit emotionally fragile during this time. Good luck to her during surgery.
i'm sorry for making the raging maniac comment, i was meaning it to be funny, but it didnt come out that way She already is kinda fragile in the emotional department, with things not quite being balanced and small things setting off torrents of tears which make me feel like a jack a$$ for pointing out that it shouldnt affect her like it does. Take for example the other day while she was washing dishes and i was drying them. Normally, this wouldnt be an issue, but a cup full of clean silverware fell back into the dirty dish water and she freaked out, crying and ran to our bedroom and locked herself in there, demanding i make chocolate chip cookies and refusing to come out until said cookies were slid under the door to appease her. i didnt know what to do, so i made the cookies, slid them under the door and hoped like hell she would allow me in to console her. Ten minuets later and she comes out, makeup smeared on her face, cookie crumbs on her chest and chocolate smeared on her nose, hiccuping and crying, still munching away on cookies. i do feel like a jerk for pointing out that the silverware was clean and the dishes done, but she just looked at me, flopped onto the couch and moaned about how she was an emotional mess. Not knowing what to say, i did the age old, "it's ok, hunny" and gave her a hug, which produced more tears and a runny nose being wiped on my shirt. if she is this bad while still on hormones, im scared to see what she will be like without them..... i will supprot her through anything, and i love her to death, but some days i dont know what to do. this is new to me, not really knowing how to react to a 32 year old woman going through puberty for the second time... going through puberty for me, wasnt this bigt of an issue, but her, its a completely different story...... all i was really asking for is what i can expect, and how to deal with said emotional changes without looking like an insensitive jerk.
If she believes she's a emotional wreck, reassure her. Even if it's not something that's a typical side effect or anything. Tell her that it's normal and that she's doing great. If anything unexpected happens such as the silverware, immediately if she gets emotional, try your best to calm her down and feel relaxed. The best thing you can do is be there for her and be as nice as possible. If you feel overwhelmed, take your angers/worries out on a pillow when she's not around. The main key is to support her and keep her calm and make her feel less like a wreck.
It's likely stress. She is about to go through a surgery; she is going to have to stop taking medications that probably help her feel good about herself. It's going to be rough for a little while, for both of you. The only thing I can suggest is, perhaps, therapy for you? Or both of you? Someone to talk to, vent to, etc. Either way, hang in there. It will probably blow over once the surgery date is gone and she has recovered.
Thank you i spoke with her Trans Specialist and peer mentor today with her, asking these very questions, and she just kinda laughed and said "Oh hun, its all part of PMS and learning how to be a woman. If you ever need a place to hide, there is always a spot under my desk" i feel a little better knowing this is somewhat normal, and it will likely pass once she settles down after surgery. its just going to be a roller coaster until we get there. Thank you guys and gals for helping me out, and again, i am sorry if i offended anyone. i didnt mean to.
snow leapord, im glad you posted this thread. im wondering if maybe you could help me? your wife is a lot farther along in this process then my boyfriend (he's not yet comfortable with female terms) anyway, maybe you can answer some of my questions?
I would be more than happy to help in any way i can, and I am sure Kitty would feel the same way. Send me an inbox if you dont ant to post questions here
