ok. so my gf, as some of you know, is on HRT for 3 months, and is transitioning mtf...sex is great...for me, but she has stated more than once, that she feels too much like a guy. it's like, we get all into it, forplay is great...but then, her unwanted penis throws everything off...she is still able to orgasm, which is awesome....but how can i make her feel more like a girl? she keeps mentioning that she wants something inside her instead of being inside...i thought of trying anal with a strap-on, but is that the same thing? i really want to make sex good for her...
I think that might be something you would have to talk to her about. You said you've thought about it, maybe ask her how she feels about it? Ask her what she would like to try. Let her know you are there to support her and you are willing to try some new things in order to make her happier.
Well it's not unusual for a trans woman to have a problem using her penis. I think you two need to sit down and talk about it, is she okay with using it and just wants to be the bottom from time to time, or is she completely against being on top? It varies from person to person, and it's important to ask ahead of time so she doesn't feel pressured. As for wanting to have something inside her. That doesn't mean you have to jump into strap-ons. You can use a vibrator, dildo, a banana with a condom, or even your finger. If you think about it, she's a normal girl but has this defect (I call it my birth defect). Sex doesn't have to be about your genitals, lots of kissing, lots of touching, touch her everywhere. She wants to feel feminine so treat her like any other girl because that's what she is. Lots and lots of foreplay, kissing her from her hand to her lips to her chest and you get the rest. Communication is important, ask her what she wants, tell her what you want. Once you've talked it over you can experiment. Talk while you're doing it, ask if what you're doing feels okay, if she's comfortable, communication, communication, communication. ^,^
sounds easy enough...im so terribly shy and sexually awkward. lol. i was kinda hoping someone here could tell me what to do lol ---------- Post added 25th Sep 2012 at 08:32 AM ---------- thanks Fugs! i will try my bestest
I can totally understand the shyness and awkwardness, but it is an important thing to discuss. Just talk. Agree to not think anything negative towards the other person and agree to make everything open. DO your best to be very blunt and honest...trust me, not only does it make things easier to understand, but it DOES get less awkward after a while. As far as telling you what to do, we cannot. It is something that's very intimate between you and your partner, and only you and her can figure out what is best for you both. I'm sure once you guys decide what is best we can help you figure out how to go about doing so though (I'm sure there will be some newness to it all and if any place is going to help with that stuff, I feel like this is the place).
I guess that makes sense. I'm pretty in-experienced in sex to begin with..never liked it much(my childhood sucks) but now I do like it, with her anyway lol. I'll speak to her tonight about it. wish me luck!
Hi there, I must say I've never been in a sexual relationship with a woman to completely relate to your sex life, but I can relate to her sexual dysphoria. I honestly don't really have a problem with masturbation, but when I had sex with my ex-boyfriend, my penis being involved in any way made me feel really masculine and uncomfortable. I would let him give me oral because he enjoyed it, but it really was mildly unpleasant to me on a psychological level. I just wanted to be treated like a girl during sex, and acknowledging that I had a penis just made it all kind of fall apart. The key thing to remember is every trans person is different in what they like, don't like, and what makes them experience dysphoric feelings. Its incredibly important to have communication. I know if I was your partner I would really like the strap on idea because it makes me feel incredibly feminine and intimate to allow someone to penetrate me. Your girlfriend could be different though, which is why communication is so important.
thanks J Snow. This is really helpful. She seems to like the idea of butt play, but since I don't , I wasn't sure if she'd actually enjoy it..she's never done it before and I don't want to hurt her....I know, now, that she enjoys the feeling of having little or no control..she wants to be over-powered...and now..I'm scared to try that because I am so not the "forceful" type...Im just as submissive as she is...but when I'm drinking, it's easier lol ... but ya...I'll try the anal thing...im wondering though...is it at all possible to make her orgasm without touching the penis???? :/ ---------- Post added 25th Sep 2012 at 10:27 AM ---------- I meant.."since I don't" as in, I don't like anything other then a finger in my bum lol...
Well it's possible to orgasm through anal only but not everyone can. About the submissive thing, don't feel forced to do anything you aren't comfortable with. That kind of stuff needs to be talked about ahead of time. I'd say ask her about how she'd feel most comfortable with you and her genitals ^,^ but general rule of thumb, treat her penis like a vagina if you can. More rubbing than jerking if you understand Tho that's probably not pg13....
As Fugs said, its possible to experience orgasm from only anal penetration, but I certainly never have and my understanding is its relatively rare. Well, I've at least never had a genital orgasm. On a couple occasions I have had full body euphoric orgasmic feelings that far trumped any ordinary orgasm I've ever had. Its extremely rare though. I didn't mind not having the actual orgasm though because for me, this experience was much more intimate and my partner's climax was farm more exciting for me than an orgasm of my own.
pg13. lol. im 26 so no worries and i think i understand lol . perhaps tonight, she will feel like a well loved lady? XD gunna give these ideas a try and we'll see what happens thanks for all your help!
