I have drank more than 4 drinks a day every day for easily over 3 months, with only 2-3 days of intercession at very sporadic times. I'm scared that combined with the heavy amount of meds I am taking that I could be putting my health at serious risk. It's also noticeably effecting my complexion and i think it's effecting my hair growth which is a big big deal to me. I used to be 100% completely sober but started drinking again a year ago because of stresses with my relationship and about my gender and sexuality, and since then I've not gone more than a week without drinking. I haven't blacked out in a long long time, but I am still worried. I have tried to quit so many times and usually can't even go one day. I don't know what to do. There are AA groups in my area, but I am not Christian, and I'm worried about just going to some random support group with people I don't know. I need help.
First, good on you for acknowledging the problem and realizing you need to take steps to help yourself. AA isn't Christian. As a friend of mine, who works in the recovery field says, "If you're uncomfortbable with the word "God" in any of the 12 steps, substitute "The Truth" whenever you see God. You'll find it works perfectly." And AA is very much about being nonjudgmental, so it's very unlikely anyone will be bothered if you aren't Christian, so I don't think that will be a problem. Additionally, AA is, by its nature, a brother and sisterhood of people who "don't fit in", and so they are extremely welcoming to anyone new. They were all exactly like you at one point, scared to death to go to a meeting. You can go and just listen. When they go around the room and share, you can say that you're there to listen, and no one will judge you. But if you go... and get started... I guarantee you'll meet people who understand, don't judge, are willing to help, and will be there to help you. AA is the best documented way to help people in achieving and maintaining sobriety. And it's open to everyone. Take advantage! You only have to go alone once, and then you'll know people!
Dhamma, I know you're a Buddhist, and I also know the Buddhism teaches against alcohol abuse. As such, I'd suggest you see if there's any Buddhist monks or nuns in your area who might be willing to give you some spiritual advice. AA is very successful for some people, and I am a big fan of using support groups for recovery. That said, I personally don't think I could use AA, because for all their claims that God can be anything, the steps themselves outline a vision of a very specific type of god and a very specific attitude towards God. If I were to abuse drugs and needed to recover, I'd use secular support groups such as NAMI's consumer groups. I believe, but I am not certain, that there are medications that can help with alcohol addiction, and you may want to discuss those with your doctor.
According to every professional I know that works in the recovery field and teaches 12 step (which is quite a few... this is a field I'm doing a lot of professional work in at the moment), the above is totally untrue. As I said above, you can replace any instance of "God" with "The truth" and the steps work just as well, and make just as much sense. There are plenty of people who are atheists, Buddhists, jews, muslims (yes, there are muslim alcoholics!) who are serious 12 steppers and have no problem with the AA/12 step approach and its relation to religion. While it's true that a lot of people do tend to associate it with a traditional Christian / God-based spiritual belief, there are, in many major cities, entirely non-religious AA groups, and even the religious ones are pretty nonjudgemental about those who are non-Christian and want to follow the steps. It would be really, really foolish to avoid AA, or to go to some other type of recovery group because of an unfounded fear of the apparent (but nonexistent) Christian bias in AA; there are no other recovery platforms or self-help groups for people seeking to attain or maintain sobriety that have anywhere near the documented long-term effectiveness that AA has. As far as medications... there are no drugs I am aware of that are effective in treating or curing alcoholism. There's Antabuse, but that's essentially a behavior modifier; it makes you violently ill if you have any alcohol at all, and it is generally only used for severe, long-term chronic alcoholics. And there are drugs that help the severe alcoholic deal with the withdrawal symptoms of "drying out," and drugs to address patients with dual diagnoses (alcohol and a concurrent mental health disorder), but nothing, to my knowledge, that is regularly used to treat alcoholism. Alcohol abuse is a condition that generally requires regular attention and ongoing treatment. Behavioral approaches are pretty much the only effective treatment, and that's one of the reasons AA is so highly recommended by almost all of the treatment centers that have any sort of good success.
As far as I know, AA doesn't attempt to cure alcoholism per se, it simply provides a support network to encourage you to abstain from alcohol. AA isn't designed to be something you go through and leave, it's something you integrate into your life as a spiritual practice, much like prayer or meditation. While Wiki is not the most reliable source, the article on the effectiveness of AA is rather inconclusive. The main thing it indicates is that people who stick with the program find it effective. Because AA is (quite inappropriately) often court-ordered in the US, there are always a certain percentage of attendees who are there unwillingly, and treatment for just about any behavioral program will not succeed if the participant is unwilling. Again, I know Wiki isn't always reliable, but it indicates there are several medications that have shown some effectiveness in treating alcoholism. In general, Chip has more knowledge on this subject than I do, and Kara has more than either of us, so I'd talk about this list with one of them, or, ideally, with a doctor.
Dhamma: I apologize for the fact that your thread is getting sidetracked by an argument, particularly one between two staff members. Overwhelmingly, the people that have sought help for treatment for alcoholism do so through the use of 12 step programs such as AA, which is not by any stretch a spiritual practice, but a self-help group that, through its 12 steps, deals with the behavioral and psychological issues that underlie alcohol addiction. The people who attend AA, and work its steps, find that it works. Not perfectly, but better than any other approach, including medications, that currently exist. Most addiction medicine specialists agree that alcoholism falls in the category of a chronic disease that has a genetic component which requires ongoing attention. Most doctors are not very familiar with addiction treatment, so you're unlikely to get very good advice froma typical doctor, other than "go to AA." If you do want to go to a professional, I would recommend seeing a therapist or psychiatrist with a specialty in addiction medicine. But you don't need to do that. The situation you are describing, while it will, if left untreated, get worse, is something that would respond well to the social model used by AA, either alone or in combination with therapy. If you want to PM me, I will be happy to put you in touch with some credible addiction treatment resources that will give you some options.
Thanks Chip, I appreciate the information. I'm really shy about getting in touch with a group in town, but I'm thinking it may be my only option at this point. It's very obvious that my personal willpower is not enough to break this. Wasn't even able to make it through the day today, and I've had a really really good day. sigh
One of the biggest things to understand... and one of the hardest for people who are not familiar with people who are alcohol or substance dependent is that it is not a moral or willpower choice. That's why most addiction medicine professionals refer to it as a disease. You wouldn't try to manage diabetes or cancer by "willing" it to go away... and alcohol abuse is no different. Most people have a tremendous amount of shame surrounding their abuse of alcohol, in large part because most of society looks down on it and does not see it as the disease process that it is. But once you realize there are major biochemical changes in the brain that cause and contribute to the disease, and it's way more than just "choosing not to drink", it becomes easier to accept help. That's why AA is so special. It helps you understand that there are many, many people like you, all having the same issues. There is almost always a genetic or biological component to addiction. And having others around you that have been there helps you to see how, if you put the effort in, you can beat it. I know it's really hard to take the first step and reach out. But if you want, you can make a call first; there's always a phone contact to the local AA group who will talk to you, make you feel comfortable, and meet you at the first meeting so you don't feel alone. And as I said, going to the first meeting is the hardest. Once you do that, I think you'll be surprised how easy it is to connect with others and make friends... and get help. Justin: AA uses a 12 step process to help the alcoholic get from whatever stage of the disease they are in to sobriety, and, more importantly, to maintain sobriety. As addiction counselors like to say, anyone can get sober. It's staying sober that presents the challenge to the alcoholic. A typical AA meeting is 60 to 120 minutes, and some people go once a week, and some people go to multiple meetings a day; it depends on where they are and how much help they need in maintaining sobriety. Working the 12 steps is something that takes time because it is really a process of deep self-reflection and exploring the issues that contribute to the behavior, how it has affected yourself and others, and so forth. But it's something you do on your own time schedule, and based on your own commitment to your sobriety. One of the great things about AA is the non-judgment. They don't shame you or pressure you to do anything; they simply help you when you're ready for the help.
AA is in theory not Christian, or religious, but in practice you'll encounter people there who tell you you cannot 'work the programme' unless you do believe in a god. And indeed the AA 'big book' tells you the same thing in the notorious 'To Atheists' chapter. You have to have the self-confidence to ignore these distractions (which a lot of people trying to stop drinking don't have). Having said that, if a person has already decided that complete abstinence is the only solution for them, they'll find plenty of support in AA to keep them on that route.
Just think....The thing about going to a group for a problem is that pretty much every one there has all ready been where you are. And they had to take the step of finding and joining the group. It may help to keep reminding yourself that. As for all the arguments going on... It seems to me like you should try whatever group you find. If it fits, then great, if it doesn't then there may be another group to try. Just don't give up. Your worth the effort and time.
The discovery of AA was that having a peer network that understands what you're going through changes addiction from a solitary condition to one that deals with both the addiction and the underlying triggers of the addiction. There are some spiritual and religious overtones to the AA theory but unlike others like the Salvation Army, their primary purpose isn't religion. The way that you'll hear AA members discuss it is that they powerless over alcohol, so there are times that they appeal to their "higher power" for the strength to get through another day of sobriety. I recently saw a one-man show that had some very honest discussion about gay men and recovery. I didn't think that I would like it but his openness about how he felt when he was in recovery made me leave with a better understanding of what recovery is about. It's out on DVD - Leslie Jordan: My Trip Down the Pink Carpet.
