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Sexual abuse survivor, terrified of going to the Gynecologist.

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by whitwhit82, Oct 28, 2012.

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  1. whitwhit82

    whitwhit82
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    I was sexually abused as a young child and sexually assaulted as an adult. I've been in therapy for a little over a year now and I've made great strides in my recovery. I have recently returned to school, finishing my degree in special education, and have moved out of my parents house for the first time. I have also finally been able to come to terms with my sexuality and came out to my therapist a month or so ago. I'm so proud of how far I've come, but there is something that has been bothering me lately. I have not discussed it with my therapist just yet, but plan on bringing it up this week. I'm terrified of going to the Gynecologist. As I said, I'm 30, and I have never been. I know my abuse plays a huge factor in my fear and I know my therapist will have some great insight and suggestions. But I also know I have a lot to gain by sharing this here. I'd like to know if there are other women out there who have a similar issue. How did you over come your fear? What are some suggestions you may have for me or others in the same boat? :help:
     
    #1 whitwhit82, Oct 28, 2012
  2. Mogget

    Mogget
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    One thing you might do is connect with a local domestic violence shelter to find out if they offer support groups or even a list of ob/gyns who are well-educated on sexual abuse. If you're comfortable telling a stranger (i.e. a ob/gyn) about your abuse (they are bound by HIPPA to keep it confidential), I'm sure a skilled doctor would be able to help you through your exam with compassion.
     
    #2 Mogget, Oct 28, 2012
  3. Pret Allez

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    I actually read a story (I think on Feministing) about a woman who had been raped. She was so afraid that her doctor was not going to know how to deal her, but she let her doctor know about the experience, and it turned out well.

    In this story, the doctor was really good about explaining what she was going to do before she did it, and she let her patient know that she was in control at all times, and if she wasn't feeling comfortable, the exam could end at any time.

    Your doctor should and will ask for your permission at all steps of the process.
     
    #3 Pret Allez, Oct 28, 2012
  4. whitwhit82

    whitwhit82
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    Thanks yall! I was thinking along those same lines. I need a doctor who is experienced with sexual abuse survivors and I need to be told, step by step, what is happening. Also, I like the idea of being able to call the exam off at any time I should get too uncomfortable to continue.
     
    #4 whitwhit82, Oct 29, 2012
  5. TraceElement

    TraceElement
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    I second what has been said before.One suggestion I have though, is having a "meet and greet" appointment where you meet with the gyn and she shows you the instruments she will be using and the process. I suggest at this time let her know of your past. MAybe a week or so later you can come back for the actual exam. It may be worth while to bring a friend with you for support.
     
    #5 TraceElement, Oct 29, 2012
  6. whitwhit82

    whitwhit82
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    That is a GREAT idea! Thank you!!!
     
    #6 whitwhit82, Oct 29, 2012
  7. electrolicious

    electrolicious Guest

    Well, everyone has given advice about finding a gynecologist that's experienced with sexual abuse survivors and getting to the doctor's office, so I'll tell you what worked for me once the exam was actually taking place. As a trans guy, I experience a lot of discomfort and anxiety over gynecological exams. What's worked for me was to focus on a thought and repeat it in my head. I would recite all of the digits of pi I had memorised once when I was bored, and that would help keep my mind off what was happening. It doesn't have to be numbers, it could be any word, but I prefer to keep it something neutral, so my mind won't wander.
     
    #7 electrolicious, Oct 30, 2012
  8. whitwhit82

    whitwhit82
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    That's a great idea, too! I was thinking about listening to music quitely in one ear (so I can still hear the doctor). Music helps calm me a lot. In fact, that is what always gets me through at the dentist, so it might help for here, too!
     
    #8 whitwhit82, Oct 30, 2012
  9. FunnyMonkey

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    I know it is no were near the same thing , but I hate going to the dentist with a passion. What I do is I use my Ipod and a sleeping mask so I can't see / hear anything then I imagine my happy place. I don't know it that helps , but it works for me.
     
    #9 FunnyMonkey, Oct 30, 2012
  10. irishangel

    irishangel
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    I am in a similar situation i havent been to a gyn in 6 years because of my abuse situations and people tell me i have to go i'm scared to tell them why i don't want to go but my friend that was recently raped suggested a great gyn who did her exam after she was raped she didn't report it to the police right away she went to her gyn and then her gyn reported it to the police so i'm working up the courage to call up her gyn
     
    #10 irishangel, Oct 31, 2012
  11. whitwhit82

    whitwhit82
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    It's so hard! But I always find comfort in knowing I'm not alone. I think it's going to easier than what I think. I have a feeling it is something I've built up to be so horrible in my head, but won't be as bad as I fear. But there is always a chance that something could be a trigger and I freak. That is what I'm really worried about. Either way, I'm going to scrape up enough courage to go. I'm committed to taking better care of myself and this is one step in that process. Please keep in touch and let me know when you call and how it went. Then, let me know when you go. I'd love to hear how it went for you, if you don't mind!!! Good luck to you!!!
     
    #11 whitwhit82, Oct 31, 2012
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