Okay this is an embarrassing topic whenever I am having sex with someone I have no problem getting an erection and maintaining an erection however on ending I'm never able to finish up and I have never been able to have a proper orgasm while having sex. Any ideas?
Hi there Can I ask how old you are? It might be an issue around anxiety or nervousness, or being comfortable with that certain person in that certain environment. It could also be a medical issue-- do you find yourself able to orgasm with ease while masturbating? Also, remember that even in sex, it's not mandatory that you orgasm. It's about having the experience with someone that's important, and you can still have a good time without climaxing.
I feel like I also want to ask whether or not you're actually attracted to the person you're trying to have sex with (i.e. you're forcing yourself vs. genuinely enjoying it). I've also moved this to the health subforum; you'll probably get better responses there.
I'm 18 years on and I have had sex with different people before I am entirely comfortable woth having sex and I really like this guy I do ejaculate when I masterbate and with ease. And I am not circumcised and my foresking does fully retract.
Where do you have sex? Are you relaxed when you have sex? Do you have trouble staying sexually aroused with your situation when having sex? What i mean is, does the thought "i am having sex with this person right now" and seeing it happen while you are doing it actively turn you on? Or do you think about other things in order to try to keep yourself horny and hard while performing the deed?
Psuedojim's raised a good point that would help to answer what's going on. Another is, if your partner masturbates you, or you masturbate yourself when the two of you are together, do you get off pretty easily, or is that almost as difficult as having sex?
It's a common situation among young guys. It's the "goldilocks" phenomenon where a lot of guys either get too excited and come too fast or are so excited that they can't come at all. In some ways, getting excited, getting hard but not being able to come might be more frustrating than coming too fast. There's not an easy prescription. Most of time, we just recommend that you find a way to get yourself off but let your partner help out. That might be laying side-to-side and holding you while you jack yourself off. Or it might be taking turns- letting your partner take turns with you until you come. As you get more experience- and in particular if you have a regular boyfriend or fuckbuddy, it does get easier to relax and to come when you're ready to come and with your partner's full participation. In the meantime, take the stress off the situation by telling your sex partner that you really enjoy the sex but you usually have to finish yourself until you've had a sex with the a few times. Sometimes just putting it out there takes off some of the pressure off your partner and takes some of the pressure off you to perform.
