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Plagued by a Chronic Anal Fissure and Need Help.

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by ShaadeTheFox, Oct 31, 2012.

  1. ShaadeTheFox

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    Hey.

    I'm a 23 year-old gay male who, for the last 2 years, has been plagued by a chronic anal fissure, and I need some advice and/or support. (hopefully from someone who's had a similar problem, or has some medical expertise)
    Basically what i'm saying is that I cannot have anal sex. For some, i'm sure, that's not a problem. But for me personally, it's a huge problem.
    I've been to my doctor about it, and tried a couple of different topical treatments over the course of 3-4 months with no luck. (I've not told my doctor that i'm gay. I've only just recently come out to my family and i'm still very nervous about telling people)
    After this failure, my doctor referred me to someone more specialized for this particular problem, and after visiting the new doctor i've been put back on the same treatment I was on with my first doctor.
    I'm 95% sure it's not going to work, and despite voicing this concern, the doctor insisted, saying he'd rather I try again than taking a surgical approach.
    So, right now, i'm at the beginning of this 'second attempt' at topical treatment which is to last for 8 weeks before I return to the doctor for further evaluation.
    To be honest, I think i've just lost my last shred of patience and can no longer see any hope.
    I feel like my sex life is over. I'm starting to think that i'll never be rid of this problem and I just don't know what else I can do.
    So i'm reaching out here in hopes that someone else has experience with this problem and can offer me advice.
    Would it help at all if I told my doctor that I am gay, and that this means more to me than enduring a little pain every time I have a bowel movement, or would that just make things worse?

    By the way, this problem was not caused by sex or by me playing around by myself, i've always been very careful with regards to that and have never had any problems with it.

    Thanks =3

    -Shaade
     
  2. KaraBulut

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    There was a recent thread in the anonymous forum where I commented that the daily use of the anus is much rougher than a few minutes of anal sex.

    Your doctor is taking the recommended approach- he's trying to give your body the chance to heal itself. This will cost you time and a few hundred dollars in medications. The surgery will cost you thousands of dollars, will be painful and will result in you having stitches in your butt for a few days.

    Good medical practice is to try the least risky treatment first. If that doesn't work, then you look at the more risky surgical options. Whether you're gay or not will not change that practice.

    Surgery on the butt is not fun. Your doctor is aware of the cost of the surgery, the risk of undergoing surgery and the inconvenience of the recovery period. While you may be frustrated, he's following the recommended treatment options.
     
  3. ShaadeTheFox

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    Thanks.
    I understand that the doctor is just going by the book, but as I said, i've already tried the topical medication and it didn't work at all the first time around, and the doctor knows this.
    Money and stitches aren't as important to me as happiness, and for the last 2 years i've been an emotional wreck thanks to this problem. I'm constantly depressed and no longer have any confidence sexually.

    I'd really like to hear from someone who has had this problem also, and whether or not surgery helped them.
     
    #3 ShaadeTheFox, Nov 2, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 2, 2012
  4. Lewis

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    I had this too...I was too scared to go see a doctor about it so I just let it heal by itself and made sure I didn't strain too hard when having a bowel movement. I used to bleed pure red blood and now have horrible skin tags left behind.

    The fissure healed, but it's left behind some pretty nasty looking tracks. Go see a doctor, I wish I did. Being gay makes it harder too because I doubt I'd let anyone go down there...