my porn addiction

Hi all, first post- just wanting to let things out that I can't admit to those I love. So, I'm 29, and I've been addicted to porn for over 10 yrs. It has been a way for me to escape having to tell people that I'm gay and has been a substitute for having any real relationships. I've operated in this automatic mode for so long... all the while, it has slowly eaten away at who I am, so all that's left of me is a shell of who I should have been. I have no friends, no hobbies anymore, and little hope...

Recently, things have taken a turn for the worse, and I feel like I'm running into a brick wall. This is related to my recent use of craigslist... and resulting health issues that have left me in a state of despair about being able to have a "real" loving relationship in the future.

I'm even having headaches because the stress has worsened my addiction. I recently had an emotional breakdown, and the one positive thing that has come of all this is that I told 2 of my sisters that I'm gay. I'm trying to get counseling soon, but at this point in my addiction getting anything done feels like a laborious process... thx for reading