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Willpower

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by Closet88, Nov 6, 2012.

  1. Closet88

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    So basically my lack of willpower is one of my main downfalls in life. I am really easily led by others and tend to let people walk all over me however part of me knows that this is wrong and there are several things I need to change.

    The most important thing I need to change at the moment however is my diet. In the last year I have gained over 4 stone (or over 60lbs) and I just seem to keep gaining weight and be hungry all the time. I don't know how to stop it. It is really getting me down because lots of my clothes no longer fit and I just don't feel good about myself. However my lack of willpower means that I'm finding it impossible to change this. If I tell myself I'm gonna start a diet my mind will immediately convince my stomach that I'm hungry and all I will think about is food. And working a Monday-Friday job I seem to have created an excuse to myself that I never have time to exercise. I know I need to make changes but I just don't think I'm physically strong enough. My willpower is terrible and it's really getting me down.

    Does anybody else have similar problems or any advice?
     
  2. BudderMC

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    Well, willpower is great and theoretically you can do whatever you want if you set your mind to it, but it's a bit like trying to drive out of a snowbank by simply mashing on the gas pedal. You might be exerting effort you don't necessarily need to.

    With regards to your eating habits, is there something else going on that might be triggering that? People don't usually just perpetually stay hungry and increase the amount of food they're eating if they aren't exerting themselves physically a lot more on a day to day basis (which it doesn't sound like you're doing). Perhaps you're eating as a method of coping; I know for myself I used to eat when I was depressed. Easier to see now in retrospect, but when I really thought about it back then, I think I knew. That's not to say you are eating to cover up something else, but it might be worth some thought. If there is something else going on, it's probably easier in the long run (in terms of losing weight) to address that issue first.

    Otherwise, try setting yourself up to do things with other people. Humans are consistent by nature, so if other people are expecting us to do something, we try to do it (or feel really bad if we don't). Perhaps a running group or attending meetings for diet meetings (Weight Watchers or something comes to mind) might help you in that sense.
     
  3. Closet88

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    I like the metaphor you've used for willpower. I think you are spot on when you say I might be making too much effort. It's frustrating because I'm always talking about what I'm going to do and what I'm going to achieve but never seem to actually do anything. I must come across to people as a liar, and that makes me feel worse because I'm not :frowning2:.

    I've decided the cause of my eating is 2 things. I moved away from home to go to university but since I moved back home 2 years ago the weight has piled on as my mum just seems to constantly feed me, whereas not living at home I was more in control of what and when I ate. The secon factor may be my job. I work in an office, where I sit and my desk all day and people always seem to have snacks and eat through boredom really. And plus I'm not getting any exercise by sitting there all day. The increased eating has coincided with me feeling more isolated and frustrated with my sexuality. I have accepted I'm gay but haven't got the courage to tell others and over the last year this has made me feel more frustrated. I hadn't really linked this to my over-eating though, could that be the cause? And if it is then I don't think I can address this issue before losing weight because I am terrified of coming out.

    Another thing I didn't mention in my first post is that I also smoke cigarettes, and this also angers me. I hate it but again can't find the power to stop. It's like a cycle, I will try and stop smoking but find myself eating more and then go back to the cigarettes in fear of putting weight on. And if I try to start eating healthy and exercising I find this difficult as smoking means I am really unfit. One of my biggest regrets so far in life is that I started smoking.

    Thanks for your advice though, and sorry to sound a bit negative in my reply, it's just the way I feel at the moment.
     
    #3 Closet88, Nov 6, 2012
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2012