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Stress Reducers.

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by AAASAS, Nov 18, 2012.

  1. AAASAS

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    Does anyone have any anecdotal, or factual advice on how to reduce the amount of stress in your life, or I mean more along the lines of perceive stress as less stressful?

    I get the odd bout of angina, stomach pains, and numbness when I get really stressed out, especially when I think about my situation. It is most common when I am alone, bored, or about to fall asleep. Just thinking about my life too deeply can cause my chest to actually hurt A LOT. This isn't just pure discomfort, it is actually painful at times. The only times I ever experience this are when I think about my situation.

    I obviously know you can't just completely forget your problems, but I do know that what I am experiencing is not good for my health in any way shape or form. I kind of want to do something about this before it gets any worse, as I know what stress can do to your lifespan.

    So what are some practical ways to calm down, or perceive stress as less stressful. I know I can't live in denial, so the advice has to be more than "just don't think about it".

    I mainly experience the chest pains and what not when I think about being gay, how I am alone, telling my friends, my future....etc. So it is not like it is on my mind all the time, but sometimes I can't help but think about it. NO matter what I do, I will get chest pains, if I start telling myself postive things to combat these chest pains, they only get worse, because I know I am lying to myself. So I really need a way to distract myself from reality or what I am thinking of, so I can instantly kill the pain, I also do not want my heart to be under going so much at such a young age.

    I will basically try anything that is proven to work. Happy music can help, but that isn't practical all the time.

    So far one of the only things I can do, which doesn't fully work it more slows down the frequency of the pains is to breath really really full deep breaths. That sort of relaxes me, but my mind turns to my problems the moment I stop doing this, and the pain comes back.

    I basically am just trying to save myself from having a heart attack in the future, and I know someone on here has had to of experienced something similar to me?

    Has anyone else had stress - related angina from thinking about being gay?

    What did you do about it?
     
  2. justinf

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    I can sort of relate to what you're saying, except it's not really stress, I just have a lot of anxiety. But I guess it comes down to the same thing.

    What did I do about it? Drugs, alcohol.. wouldn't recommend them.

    After I realized those were only short term solutions, I started trying some different things.

    I found that breathing exercises work really really well. I know you said you sort of tried that and it didn't really work, but just try some other exercises as well, and be patient. I don't have a whole lot of patience for these sorts of things, but desperate times ask for desperate measures, and after I got the hang of it it really did work.

    If it gets too bad, call your friends and hang out with them. It's not a long term solution, but at least it will take your mind off of things in that moment and will make your pain go away.

    Sorry I can't be of any more help, sadly I think things like this just need time to completely go away.
     
  3. AAASAS

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    ^
    I am going to try those, they worked a bit, but not fully. I really just want to be able to get rid of the pain as it can be quite painful at times, almost like someone is squeezing my heart completely.

    Friends isn't the best option as I experience this before I go to bed the most, and it is what keeps me up at night.

    I have tried meditation but can never get fully under, but I guess like you said it takes practice, and time.

    I will give breathing excercises a second chance since you say they work for you.

    By the way Anxiety is a type of stress, symptoms are very similar. I don't have anxiety, in general, and am not a stressed person naturally. All of this comes from thinking about being gay, and only being gay; and some of the poor life choices I have made because of it. I have sabotaged my life over this crap, and that adds to the stress.

    I am currently working on getting my life together, and I know the stress is going to be the last thing to leave, so right now I am trying to just LIVE with it.

    Thanks for the advice though, I will try breathing again.
     
  4. Koan

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    Mindfulness meditation could be a great option. It has certainly helped me.

    Best to go somewhere with instructions and other fellow meditators, though. Very hard to do on your own.
     
  5. Colours

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    You could see it as a motivation to come out to your friends and others.
     
  6. AAASAS

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    Ha no I do, but that is mainly what stresses me out, so I am trying to reduce this amount. The pain gets really bad at times, and is very uncomfortable, it is also annoying when I can't do anything about it, and it only ever happens because of me, and my thoughts. I just wish there was a way to avoid thinking about what I think about, or to some how stop seeing it as stress. I am basically under 24/7 stress and it has been going on for years now, so I am just kind of sick of it. I don't want to take drugs or anything, coming out isn't an option, but I know I have to do something.

    I was thinking about talking to my doctor about it, but I don't want her to send me to a therapist, because I really don't think I need therapy, or that it would even work, I kind of see therapy for people who are in major denial about their problems, or people that don't really know what the root of their problems are. For me it is simple, I know what is causing the stress, I don't need to talk it out, everything that is wrong with me I am conscious of, so I more need something a long the lines of meditation or what not.

    I was more hoping for some anecdotal evidence of what works for others, I am basically willing to try anything.

    Breathing does work, but temporarily, I am trying to find something that will stop it all together.
     
  7. Ettina

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    I struggle with stress a lot. In my case due to my PTSD and autism, not my sexuality.

    What I do is:

    a) If I've been feeling a lot of stress recently, I review everything in my life that I'm finding stressful, and see which of those I can stop doing without paying too much of a cost.

    b) If I'm not willing or able to drop it, I look for things I find calming and enjoyable, and work them into my schedule. In my case, because I'm autistic, I'm allowed to use a Snoezelen room at this place near my house, so I often go there - it's extremely calming. But it could be anything, really.
     
  8. AAASAS

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    ^

    I am sorry to hear you have problems with PTSD and autism. I can't 100% relate to the autism part, though I do understand the stress that could come along with it as my friends little sister has aspergers syndrome, though you would never think it because she is relatively popular at school and outgoing, her creativity has helped I guess people open up to her more and stop her from being afraid of socializing. She reminds me more of a rocker chick than anything. I did watch something that better explained the autistic mind on a TED talks the other day I found interesting, it is funny how a label can make someone feel isolated, humans have different brains and ways of thinking regardless, everyone has some kind of syndrome or "non" normal thought process in one way or another, and it would drive people nuts if we were labelling and defining these as well. So I do understand how dealing with stigma can be annoying.

    I almost feel like I have minor PTSD from being suicidal for about 5 years. I never attempted anything, but I did have graphic thoughts, plans....etc. Which kind of fucked with me. Part of my stress is worrying about falling into a depression, and I actually freak out anytime I think about going back to how I felt, which is similar to PTSD, there are also triggers that remind me of those times, certain music I listened too, even the winter reminds me of it. So I have a lot of stress reminders around me.

    I actually do find myself doing your A) option often, and it does help, but I don't have that well of control over my thoughts, I really need to do something distracting.

    I also think trying to make more time to do enjoyable things is a good idea that I actually never considered, so I will try that as well.

    Like I said I am open to any suggestions, because I have ran the internet dry of resources, and want some real life peoples methods.

    Breathing though I have found to be the most effective so far. That and music.
     
    #8 AAASAS, Nov 20, 2012
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2012
  9. Meg

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    I'm a bit old fashioned with stress reduction.

    I'm really big on exercise. Especially running, I just feel like when I run I can just leave all the stress in the car or on the sidelines and just focus on one foot in front of the other. Sometimes it's nice to listen to some music and sometimes it's nice just to run and focus on my breathing and where I'm going.

    I'm tempted to do yoga or something like that just to do some stretching and that kind of focus stuff :slight_smile: