I'm a total wreck. I've cried all weekend...and really, off and on for months. I have all this emotional pain...and I don't know how to explain that to anyone. It would be easier if it were physical pain. And...that's what scares me. I had thoughts all weekend of hurting myself so that I could FEEL this-physically. I didn't. But, I still desperately want to. At least if there was something physically wrong, there would be a reason for hurting that is tangible. I don't know what else to do. I am seeing a therapist, and I have therapy tomorrow night. But, usually when I get to his office, I clam up and we end up talking about nothing I want to talk to him about. It's been somewhat helpful, but clearly it's not working enough. I'm tired of feeling like this. My anxiety makes me feel like I'm going to die of a heart attack at any moment. I wish to god that would happen. I'm tired of waiting for it, and it would be a relief. Nothing else seems to make this go away...
I get like that sometimes too. Usually when my period is coming. And birth control has only made it worse. Not saying that's what's causing you to feel emotional.... Why not make a list of what you'd like to talk with your therapist about? That way, if you've calmed down when you get to his office, you still know what you want to talk with him about and can go from there. Give him the list right when you get there, then you 2 won't get side tracked. Have you tried anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds? oh--and ~hug~
Yeah, I'm on anti-anxiety and anti-depression medication. I have a LJ post I made that I'm going to read to him tonight. I wrote it not long after I wrote this, so it covers a lot of what I want to say. Thanks. I appreciate you taking the time to respond.
