Tumors in my uterus, surgery and the need to rant.

So, yeah...

Long story short three weeks ago I found out that I had a tumor in my uterus (fibroid), a couple of teratomas and hyperplasia which meant invasive surgery.
I got it one week ago...

But, I'm in bitching mode.
It was all so quick. In a matter of two weeks (actually, ten days) I was set for surgery (I was the one who insisted on it).
I didn't mind the surgery per sé. But during the first part of the ordeal I felt almost like an object to be honest... some of the physicians' bed manners were just awful.

My primary OB-GYN is cool, I feel very confortable with her... The nurses... Geezus... The nurses were angels and I fell madly in love with the urologist who took the stent out (COMPLETELY painless). lol He was very gentle down there. lol

Overall it's fine... But, goodness... Still...
I mean to start they had to discard the possibility that it was ovarian cancer (it wasn't... Yay me!). Cancer... NOT a fun thought. I wasn't too concerned about it (I don't have either one of the risk factor), but still... I mean, c'mon! Nobody wants to have cancer and I'm not the exception.
The ureteric stent put on for prevention hours before the operation was just AWFUL... Really. It was horrible. H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E. I don't think I've been that much physical pain before. The most awful, burning whipping sensation you can possibly imagine everytime I peed. I mean it was so bad that I felt like fainting everything I went to the toilet. Seriously. And of course... blood in the urine... Or should I say urine in my blood.

Anyways, at the end I got that all that crap remove... and my left ovarie too (it was just too damaged, I guess).
Which I think it makes me feel a little bit castrated (I DO NOT want kids... but, still... being a cysgender woman, my ovaries are part of what defines my femininity).

Overall that's not the problem... The scar. Urgh...
It's like a C-section incision... but bigger. Really. Apparently the goodness-damned tumor was bigger than a kid's head, so they have to open me more than what they usually would do. And, so, my incision is bigger than my mother and sister's actual C-section scar. (-_-") Urgh...

Today that I got my stitches remove and my mother was there (which I would have preferred her NOT to be in the same room) and I just found it highly disrespectful to just assume she could be there. Not only that but she was calling my dad inviting him to see, which I got me all: "Hell, no! I'm not showing my pubes nor my crotch to my father"... because, well, isn't it private??
I don't want people looking at it without my permission... I could show it to them if I feel confortable enough, but overall it's a private thing.

IDK... I just found my mother's attitude highly intrusive.
I was gonna send a picture of my sisters of my scar, so I can see why she assume it was OK to call my father, but still...

Don't pay much attention to this. Again... I'm in ranting/venting/bitching/whining mode...
I think I'm PMS-ing to be honest. lol
Plus I still some discomfort while I do certain movements and the antibiotics are giving me a heartburn kind of feeling (yep, it's killing the bacterial flora in my guts).

Also, it's a bit frustrating to be in my house most of the day 'cus of the recovery...
Sure, I move around, but I haven't left my house without my parents chaperoning me. (-_-")

Not being able to exercise is also getting on my nerves.
This is actually what's bothering me the most. I get a little sad/frustrated everytime I see my bike getting all dusty. And, I can't jog, of course... At least not for another month... Which means no 5Ks, no 10Ks, no Half Marathons... NOTHING!
Jogging/cycling for hours is like the best cathartic method I know of and I can't do it.

Eff this sh!t... I'll walk/power walk starting tomorrow. Since I got my stitches removed, in theory I should be able to move more freely.

Anyone had a similar experience???
Any advice/comment/recommendation???

 

XD Thanks, guys...
This actually helps.

Again... I think my whole ranting thingy was caused by PMS... =P
(I hate when people use PMS as an excuse for whatever, but I can't deny that when things are already pilling up, that stuff doesn't help... It become the last straw for me sometimes... =P)
That and the discomfort I feel because I'm still recovering...

That said, thanks...
Thanks for the hugs... I'm always up for hugs. lol

 

Thank you guys for all the love... XD
I'm fine. I still experience a bit of pain everytime I can't help but sneeze but aside from that it's pretty much fine... Though, I still can't jog. T-T

Gosh!! I know!!
If anything people should ask if they can see the scar and not assuming that they can just lift up my shirt and look at it. Who gave them permission???
I mean... I don't mind my health problems per sé (not that I wanna be sick)... It's not like I was all teary and couldn't talk about it, it's the fact that it's personal. I mean... C'mon!! Can you think of ANYTHING more personal than things related to one's sexuality???

It also bothered me the fact that I found out that my mother and my sister(s) had been telling people about this. I felt so intruded upon...
Now it's fine... But at that particular moment (during the first week of recovery) it bothered me a lot.

Since it's almost a month the whole thing is not bothering me. I still find weird when people who I haven't told approach me ask how am I feeling.
I think one of the feelings that made me feel the worse right after the surgery was the lingering sensation of being castrated. I don't want to have kids, if I ever do, I'd adopt... but I couldn't help but feeling somewhat castrated after having an ovarie removed. I know you can't see them anyways... and given that pregnancy is not an issue for me (also because I still have my right one), I was rather surprised that I bothered me as it did.

Yeah... My mom snickered after the stitch thingy... Gosh... I felt so insulted. Especially since I had to repeat several times that I was not OK with my dad seeing the scar. Given her insistance, eventually I just yelled at him to please, not to enter the room.



BTW, from DDD to C???
Geezus, woman... No wonder why you had back problems.
Since your surgery was in June, you're probably all good by now.
Hopefully the trouble was worth it...
I see why you didn't want to show your breasts to your mother when they were going to take out the stitches. I don't know what it was for me... perhaps a sense of vulnerability caused by having your body rearranged by strangers??? IDK...

And, yeah... I still can't lift heavy things. I get this punch-like pain where I assume the biggest tumour was, if I do so.
Not being able to work out is not bothering as mush as it was at the beginning, but it's still bothering me. I haven't power walked so far... I wanted to, but I decided against. I just wasn't wise. In reality even now if I stayed too long standing up I get this fainty punch like sensation on my right side.

 

Thanks, PinkTractor...

Oh, yeah... I remember you comment that in the thread I posted about my friend who decided to go fully closeted.
And YES!! Some people only see limitations and not the possibilities.
In theory I should be able to be pregnant, though... if I ever want to. My OB-GYN tells me that I shouldn't have a natural birth, though. I guess there'll be some scarring in my uterus or something.

XD Thanks for your words, woman...
Happy holidays...
And, yes. I'm staying here for three months. It's not as cold as I thought it'd be (then again, in the next few weeks the temperature is supposed to go down... D=)... but still, I don't have winter clothes... =P lol
Since went on sale because of the holidays, so... Ima go shopping-crazy... lol

---------- Post added 26th Dec 2012 at 12:59 PM ----------

On FB?? O___O
I guess they did it because they needed it to process it too... which I can see where they're coming from, but then again... that leaves you feeling somewhat intruded upon.

It's just that people don't know how to behave on this... Goodness knows.
I remember watching an interview with Christina Applegate and her struggle with breast cancer and her double mastectomy. She mentioned how people, when they found out, became all huggy with her... which was a problem because her boobs hurt due to the surgery (which I'm sure was your case as well), so she sort of instinctively hunched everytime someone approach her.
Chances are if one of my friends would have been in that situation, I'd have hug them... which I think makes the point that when someone goes through this type of issues, we must try to be informed on the regard.

Goodness, yeah!! My ovaries are a part of my womanhood... As a cysgender woman, I felt like losing a part of my femininity.

lol We're on the same boat here, woman. My oldest sister does that sometimes.
It's not constant. But, it can be annoying.

OMG!! So true... Overall surgery was not that bad (except for an insertion of a ureteric stent... [B]THAT[/B] was hell)... I mean, I was sedated after all. But, it was awful overall. I think it's because you sort of lose your independency... Like not being able to change clothings, bathe by myself (at least the first times) or even pee by myself (somebody had to hold my IV).
Definitely being healthy is better. lol Also because I had some concerns given that they had to discard ovarian cancer. I wasn't too worried about it since I don't have any of the risk factors, but still... some tumoral indicators were outside the normal ranges. =P It also happens with benign tumours (just as in my case), but I still knew cancer was a possibility.


It's cool that your surgery was worth it. It just sounded like a lot of weight to be carrying around... I've always thought that women who suffer from gigantomastia go like this => (-_-") everytime they hear other women complain about her breast size. Not to mention verbal harassment from men who think they're been clever by doing sexist/objectifying remarks.

Oh, and it's not so bad now. I'm just avoing to sneeze... at all cost. lol And lifting heavy stuff. If I do either one of them, then I get that fainty punch-like sensation where the biggest tumour was.