Lately, I've been happy with my life and everything, but I still feel like killing myself is the best option for my life. It's hard to explain, but it's starting to become so overwhelming. I've never felt like committing so badly, but it almost seems like since I was put on my anti-psychoitic medication I've been considering more and more. :/ :dry:
Tell your prescribing doctor. Some meds that fall into the anti-psychotic category can make it worse... a med change is probably in store.
I agree. I a lot of medications can have that effect so that's probably what is making those feelings worse. Definitely tell your doctor and they can switch you onto something else. In the mean time I know it's hard, but no matter how strong your urge please stay safe. Let someone else know that you trust about your feelings so they can help you too. Stay Strong and Carry on (*hug*)
I don't think it's really you who feels like killing yourself. It's the medication that's messing with your mind. I hope that whenever you feel this way, you reassure yourself that these feelings aren't rational. I hate to hear when people are suicidal, especially when there isn't much I can do other than talk over the internet. I hope you feel better.
I've already called my psychiatrist since he's in charge of my medicine, he told me that the only other thing we can do is take me off an anti-psychotic entirely. The others increase my hallucinations, and my current one is 'increasing my depression symptoms.' He left that decision up to me, but I'm not sure if I want to face my hallucinations again. :/
I'm sorry. That's rough :/ Maybe check with another specialist that there aren't any other medications they can try you on or maybe a different dose?
That's the fun part, there's only one psychiatrist near me, the next one is in Salt Lake City which my family does not have the resources or the money to get down there. He's afraid that if we start upping the doses out of habit I'll start upping it myself and die from it.
oh well that is no good at all! Have you talked about maybe a lower dose then? Could help without causing such severe suicidal thoughts and feelings? I'm not an expert, but people react in very different ways to medication and it's worth a shot.
I spent many years suicidal without seeking help, I think the most important thing to keep in mind is that yes waiting around feels horrible but things will change and get better. In years you will be an entirely different person with a life that you write the script to! No matter how bad you feel, don't kill yourself. You can change the meds, but you can't bring yourself back from the dead.
Lol, that just made the idea of death so much more welcoming. Not coming back. Ha. Actually, with what I've been diagnosed if I sit around and wait, the worse it gets. The only reason why I'm not telling anyone it's getting worse is because I would be put into long term inpatient treatments.
It has become compulsary to think suicidal thoughts. It's almost like a safety blanket. A way to soothe yourself in some weird way. I have that issue too. You have to retrain your way of thinking. My therapist spent an entire session explaining it after I told her that I didn't really wasn't to do it but I kept thinking that it would be so easy just to run my car off the on ramp or to jump out into traffic or the oh hey you have a box cutter if things get bad you have an out thought. Just start telling yourself that you don't need an out when you have those thoughts. Redirect yourself.
Totally understand this. I totally relate to this, and to the OP - I am more happy with my life than I have been in a LONG time, but I fantasize about killing myself so much. I know I shouldn't, I know I don't want to really, and I am starting to really like my life (other than some pretty shitty stuff going on), but I don't know what I think about killing myself so much. It's not even when I'm feeling really dark. It's even when I'm really happy. So no, I don't think it's weird. Scary and not good, but not weird. Unless I'm just weird too. Which is a good possibility. :icon_wink Talk to your doctor! They can help. Take care of yourself. =)
>already talked to doctor >not in danger of actually committing Now that I've repeated myself, there's nothing really left to say since i just have to deal with it or stop all medication and be hospitalized for the rest of my life.
whoops didn't mean to make things worse! I think it's good you are aware of the problem. Your self awareness will be a helpful tool in overcoming it. Does it come and go in phases?
This all makes sense. Several anti-psychotics make teens have suicidal tendencies for no damn reason. It's all in your meds, dude(tte).
It depends on your definition of phases. If you mean more like episodes that last 1 - 3 weeks, then yes.
