Hello, I'm gay and I've been with my boyfriend for over two years now, we know we're both healthy (no STDs) and we trust each other. At the beginning of the relationship we used to have sex always with condoms, but lately he's been asking me to do it without condoms and I was wondering if there were any risks for his penis (like getting an infection or something) by doing it that way. Should we always use condoms? Do stable couples have sex always with condoms? Thanks.
Well, condoms besides preventing pregnancy do help reduce the risk of a lot of STIs. I think an important question is to ask your boyfriend why he wants to not use a condom. Better safe than sorry (or sexy), right?
Without using a condom there is potential for things(waste, bacteria, lube, etc..) to get in his urethra and potentially create a problem.
Yes, there are risks of infections/STIs for him. But the more important thing you should be worrying about is your own health, not his. This is about whether you want to take a risk of getting something, and that's completely up to you. Now how high that risk is, I don't know. But it's deffinitely not nonexistent. Even if you think you can trust someone completely, you can't ever be 100% sure. People are always convinced their partner would never ever cheat on them, otherwise I assume they wouldn't be with them. Yet cheating happens a lot. No, stable couples don't always have sex with condoms, but you shouldn't be looking at other couples. You should be looking at your willingness to take the risk.
Ok. I do trust him enough to know he's not cheating me, we're a commited coupled, therefore I do not worry about STDs. And we do feel it's more intimate without condoms. I'm more interested about what Lance said, about waste, lube getting in his urethra. What kind of problems could that cause? Are they likely to happen? Also, does urinating and cleaning his penis after we're done helps? Thanks to all who answered.
Well, I'm pretty sure that's what all the guys who came down with some kind of STI said. Just remember that your chances of getting an STI are just as high (or low, however you want to look at it) as any other guy in a committed relationship. We're all humans.. It can cause infections.. like blatter infections. If you think about it, the rectum really isn't the most bacterial free part of the body that comes to mind. There's no doubt bacteria are gonna get into his urethra. Yes, urinating deffinitely does help, although I don't know if that's sufficient for keeping any infections from happening.
I don't know about lube causing infections...it's meant for use on the penis and tou dont use condoms when masturbaying, so that's probably safe..but a condom is your best option for all that other stuff
Never had any issues with condom-less sex. Then again long term relationships (the ones you are most likely to engage in such risky behavior) may present more frequent opportunity for an infection to occur. I agree that sex (even anal sex) without a condom can be more intimate, albeit totally fucking crazy If you trust your partner, I wouldn't worry about the STIs. Shit like that is wont to happen, gay or straight, just enjoy your time with him and deal with that stuff as it comes.
From my secondhand knowledge, I'd probably not do it without a condom if only for the gross factor. I've heard STDs are transmitted during hetero sex through microscopic tears in the penis skin that are caused by all that rubbing. I'm certain homo sex is no different. And putting my unprotected bloodstream up against somebody's feces-lined rear end sounds like the farthest thing from hot you can describe. Doesn't mean sex between guys isn't beautiful at times, because it is. It's just unfortunately not supported as well as straight sex by natural selection. :/
the "more intimate without condoms" thing is bullshit that I hear all the time, due in large part to the high incidence of barebacking in the porn industry. If you're using good quality condoms and using them correctly, the difference is almost imperceptible. The thing you have to really consider is... why take the risk of infection or injury to yourself just for a bullshit perception? As much as you trust your boyfriend, you are literally putting your life in his hands when you agree to bareback. People lie, and people make mistakes. Particularly if your boyfriend ever drinks or uses any recreational drugs. These can cause impairment of judgment and lead to things that a sane, sober person would never do. Everyone says it will never happen to them, or their boyfriend would *never* do such a thing... but I know of a number of people who are HIV+ for that very reason. All that said... it's very hard to convince someone who wants to bareback that there's any real risk, so you're going to do what you're going to do regardless... just really, *really* think if taking the risk -- no matter how minute, it is more than zero -- is worth something that is basically a near-imperceptible difference that people blow up into some huge intimacy thing that it absolutely is not.
I'd just like to echo Chip and also add that even if both partners are negative for STIs, there is still the potential of urinary tract infection for the top without condom use. So I would go with the condom.