I can't stay happy. Every time I feel a sliver of happiness, it just burns out. I can't hold on to any emotions for any, notable, amount of time. Every feeling just burns out, like a match. Even negative ones. The only things I feel, consistently, are loneliness, self-hatred, and emptiness. My sexuality doesn't seem to weigh on my mind, anymore, but it might have something to do with it, I dunno. I've had this feeling for a long time, and I can't stand it anymore. For a while, I would cut myself just to feel something, but I can't let myself go back to that. I feel like I'm reaching the end of my rope. I have trouble sleeping, I don't find things fun like I used to, and I'm exhausted. Does anyone else feel this way? Does anyone know a way to help it?
Yes! That is exactly me! A few exceptions aside, I feel completely numb. Like there's nothing anymore. I couldn't have explained it better than you. I have no idea how to help it. Talking to people helps a bit for the time being, but then after that it goes right back to where it started. I'm interested to see what anyone else has to say about this. Sorry I can't be of any help.
I used to feel this way. When I was 15, I had a panic attack so bad that I broke down. After that, I was emotionless. I felt like an empty shell looking out at the world. I lost my appetite and my desire to live. Suicide wasn't an option for me since I knew I would cause too much pain for the people in my life. I spent years of my life in fear of telling someone what I felt. But the way I felt at that moment made me realize that it couldn't get any worse. So I made a very hard decision; I told someone. I was immediately referred to a psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with OCD and PTSD. He prescribed me with Lexapro, and within 2 weeks, I felt emotion again. It was like I woke up one day and felt completely refreshed. It was certainly the best decision I ever made. I had my life back. I hope that you do the same. You need to see a doctor and tell them what's going on. You'll be glad you did.
Talking to people about it helped me first, then it got worse. I started seeing a therapist and it was good for the moment but then I fell back down again. All I can say now is that I feel somewhat better everytime I do something from my bucketlist. (As a chemist, my bucketlist may "light the fire" a bit more literally but I think this may do you some good as well)
I believe this is known as depression. I went through it a few years ago. It can be hell to go through. To this day, I still have no idea how I came out of it. You might want to try therapy - it doesn't work for everyone, but its certainly worth a try. Other than that, please don't go back to cutting. It only makes things worse.
i fell this way 99% of the time. no worries. most of the time i am just apathetic and careless. i get into niches of self-hatred or high self worth but they are short lived. high self worth is hard to come by to begin with. i dont have a lot of answers for you because i still tend to be very destructive. less than i used to be, but only because of laziness. i'd rather just lay in bed all day than actually do anything about my emotional stress. i suggest getting into books, tea and sleep. the latter probably not being healthy. i sleep all day and am awake all night. that's usually how i deal with daily depression. just sleep it through. certain teas also can be natural mood-lifters (sleep aids, health aids, etc). i feel like poop if i dont get some hot tea in the morning. and there are some good books that take your mind away from things. i hate reading. i haven't read a book in forever that wasn't for personal enjoyment in forever. and lastly i'd tell you to seek someone to vent to. online or in person. even if it sucks to do so. i hate talking to people about how i am feeling because i'm paranoid as fuck. but it can help. CrisisChat.org is pretty great for anonymous venting, especially if you are feeling at your worst and have talking-to-strangers-on-the-telephonophobia. watch movies. play tennis by yourself. clean. clean clean clean. watch tv. spend a lot of time preparing and making a really intricate meal for someone, or for yourself. just do your best to live, minus feeling like shit. act like you dont. ignore it. i dont know. this is all probably horrible advice because i dont know how the hell i deal with it. just push through and have days where i just cry everything out and move on with life.
No, I don't have a particularly healthy relationship with my parents, and I'm afraid of what will happen if I say anything
I have always found that choosing to be happy is the way to get out of depression. I think that when someone is depressed they forget that they have choice. They sit and wallow in endless cycles of dark thoughts when they should just realise how stupid that is. You are depressed because you let yourself become depressed. Choose to be happy and then you will find it.
