I originally posted this annonymously, but decided to come out with it here, so I can get some help/insight. I am 20 years old, and I feel that for me, this is too young to have children. I don't want kids right now, so I am just fine without having them. I went to the doctor a few weeks ago, because I just had a feeling that something wasn't right. After doing some tests, she told me that I would never be able to become pregnant naturally, and that for me the possibility of being able to have kids is slim to none. I'm a lesbian, and I don't want kids right now, so this should not even bother me right? Wrong. My world has been crushed. I am devestated. My girlfriend and I want kids very badly, and I was always the one who we decided would carry them. I want to experience pregnancy. I want to get fat and happy. I want that closeness with my child to hold her inside of me for 9 months. Instead, I now just cry myself to sleep every single night since the day I was told. My girlfriend has offered to carry our children, and I know she would (she would give me the world if she could), but I know she doesn't want to, so I would NEVER make her do it. We could adopt, which I'm sure we will do, but in the area I live in homosexuality is not accepted widely, so it will be very hard. So I guess what I'm asking for is not pity, but more thoughts from you all. Should this really bother me as much as it does? What are your guys' thoughts on same-sex couples having children? What would you do if you were me?
You want a girl because you wrote "her" in your post, can you choose genders when you do it that way? You still got a chance a friend I know got told she'd never be able to have a baby and shes got one now.
I don't know what it is, but as I read what you said, it really got to me. Your voice really stood out to me. I don't think I can help much, seeing I'm a boy and only 16, but I want to say that you have every right to feel the way you do... and as optimistic as I am, I'm really sorry if you're unable to give birth. Still, I wouldn't give up hope. You made me realize how beautiful birth actually is.. and now I feel weird.. and sad. I know that probably didn't help.. but I felt like I needed to say it.
Isn't it possible to carry the baby even if you can't have one yourself? By using your girlfriends egg?
Kat22....you are experiencing grief and that is perfectly normal when somebody is told they may not be able to have children. You are grieving for your future and what you had perceived it to be. Its very much like the same feelings that we parents feel when our kids come out. Its okay to feel those feelings even though you don't want kids now. Go ahead and grieve and get it out of your system. The door to having children is not closed. You can have them. It may or may not be the way you expected but guaranteed you will love your children just as much whether they are carried by you personally, by your partner, or they are adopted. Many gay families have children in conservative areas and do just fine. In fact, you can be a living breathing example of how successful same-sex parents can be. Hang in there! I'm sure you are going to be a great mom when the time is right! (*hug*)
(POST #100 - I am the lucky winner ) I would adopt also. For my own reasons, I would never bring a child into the world naturally.
I think that means, you can't get pregnant from having sex with man. Did she said anything about your egg? If your egg is fine you can still have a baby, like doing IVF or something like that. As some said above, you can use your girlfriend's egg and have a baby inside your body? I think, what you are feeling is perfectly normal.
Don't give up hope. My mom was told flat out that she was infertile and could never have kids and yet here I am.
I wouldn't give up on it. And if you're unable to have kids, you two should consider adopting. There are so many great kids out there waiting for a home and I'm sure you and your girlfriend would make excellent parents when the time is right for you two. It's understandable why you're upset. But try to be strong and realize that if you can't have a kid naturally, there are still other options for you. Stay strong. (*hug*)
Charlie (a friend of Becky) and his partner are a gay couple with five adopted kids. I love his profile picture here http://www.emptyclosets.com/forum/member.php?u=1277 showing them and their kids. This shows that adopting really is an option!
If any of you are interested in getting a more in depth look at Charlie and his family, they are featured in Rosie O'Donnell's HBO All Aboard. It is available at Amazon. http://www.amazon.com/All-Aboard-Ro...ef=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1205680036&sr=1-1
Adoption is always an option, there are plenty of kids out there in need of loving families. But never give up. My dad was told he was unable to have kids by the army, but that didn't stop him from popping out about 14 w/ my mom (most were miscarriages though, me, my 2 sisters and my late brother were the survivors until my mom was unable to have anymore kids.)
my aunt and uncle were told they could never ever ever have kids and now they have a beautiful girl and they are expecting another one so don't give up! and adoption is also a pretty good idea.
Thanks everyone! Adopting is definately a possibility that I haven't ruled out, I just really really wanted to be pregnant. Weird I know. Does anyone know the stats on how many gay couples who apply for children are chosen? I know of a few who have been tuned down, but none personally who have been chosen.
That's what I thought. Medicine has advanced to the point where they can take your girlfriend's egg, implant it in you, and artificially inseminate it. Unless of course the problem's not with the eggs, but with the uterus, in which case adoption is an excellent choice. There are so many kids out there who need adopting so this situation that seems awful now could be providing a second chance to some child out there.
